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feridust
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Default Aug 09, 2019 at 03:50 PM
  #1
For most of my adult life I've struggled with body image issues, and 5 years ago I went through inpatient treatment for anorexia nervosa. Since that time I've reached a healthier weight although I still struggle with some guilt when I eat and there are days when I fast.

Anyway, my husband has struggled for years with obesity and I knew how unhappy he was about it. This year he decided he really wanted to change, kept a food diary, got advice, etc., and has reached his goal. I've been supportive of him the whole way and know it's been a lot of work. When he reached each milestone I was so happy for him and am thrilled that he feels much healthier. But I noticed something else. When he talks about his food plan for the day or which foods he now wants to avoid, I unreasonably start feeling like a glutton. Today when he said he needs to increase his calorie intake a little because he's dropping below his goal weight, it was as if that anorexia voice was saying to me, why can't you lose any weight? What's wrong with you?

I don't begrudge his weight loss, I just had no idea it would be so triggering. I don't know if anyone here has experienced this or can relate on some level.
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Default Aug 09, 2019 at 06:52 PM
  #2
I think most people with EDs have experienced that, I certainly have. Sometimes hearing about another's weight loss triggers negative/ED oriented thoughts

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Default Aug 10, 2019 at 12:27 AM
  #3
He actually mentioned one time that he was concerned about talking with me about this. I was honest and said it was triggering at times, but that those feelings are something I need to manage. In a way I guess I can look at this as another learning experience, but it feels tough sometimes.
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Default Aug 12, 2019 at 09:34 PM
  #4
My wife struggles with many issues related to weight/nutrition/gain/loss/etc. due to medical issues. It's incredibly triggering. I genuinely do my best, and for the most part feel i am very supportive.
Once in a great while i have to say, honey, i prefer you talk to your doctor about this, then just let me know how to help.
Its much better i admit my limits and come back to it when I'm stronger. 😊
All the best!
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Default Aug 24, 2019 at 05:16 PM
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Lightbulb Sep 06, 2019 at 09:46 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gr3tta_0 View Post
My wife struggles with many issues related to weight/nutrition/gain/loss/etc. due to medical issues. It's incredibly triggering. I genuinely do my best, and for the most part feel i am very supportive.
Once in a great while i have to say, honey, i prefer you talk to your doctor about this, then just let me know how to help.
Its much better i admit my limits and come back to it when I'm stronger. 😊
All the best!
That's an excellent response!

I'm going to adopt it in the reverse - when people start hounding me about not "enough," I'm going to say, "honey, let's let my dietitian and doctor worry about that."
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