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Old 09-29-2019, 04:12 PM   #1
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Default How did you overcome binge eating/anorexia/bulimia?

Hi! I'm new here.
I've been quite severely binge eating these past 2 months or so. Before that I suffered with some form of anorexia (never diagnosed, but I was going that path anyways). My brain was always foggy and you could see my ribs and other bones. The only thing that mattered was how skinny I was and see how little I could eat. I became quite good at restricting myself and that made me feel as if I was good enough. That's sad because I was mostly distant and in my own head. Ever since I started binge eating I've gained a bit of weight. Not a lot, but still enough for me to feel normal again and to never ever want to feel so light headed again (from the under eating). Although, I know that not eating enough calories was bad for me I still prefer the way I looked before. And that's an internal battle that I don't know how to cope with. I know that I'm not fat, but I'm not thin enough and with each binge I'm so scared of what I'll look like.
This year is my last year of high school. I believe the reason I binge eat is because of how stressed I am (because of school work, uni applications, bad self-esteem, anxiety...) I have so much to catch up in terms of work because last year I couldn't concentrate due to the under eating. I'm so angry at myself for letting this pointless goal affect my life so much.
I want to become a singer. It's been my dream my entire life. At the same time I want to achieve high marks so that I can get to a good uni, but I just do not feel capable of doing so. I have no motivation... I feel hopeless. I know this is really brief and no one can truly have the answer without knowing my entire story, but I feel like this is my last hope. I just feel so bad. I don't know why I put my body through this. Why I put my mind through this. I feel so guilty and shameful and exhausted afterwards... It just doesn't make any sense.
I don't know how to have a good relationship with food. Do I allow myself to eat processed food? Should I only eat 'healthy'? If any of you have overcome these kind of thoughts, this mental state, bad body image or eating disorder could you please share your experience? If you are going through anything then please share as well!
At least, I won't feel so alone
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Old 09-30-2019, 09:25 AM   #2
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Default Re: How did you overcome binge eating/anorexia/bulimia?

Hey hun,

I'm fighter and I had bulimia for 4 years and still struggle to this day. It's a bit like a sleeping dragon, once you wake it, it never goes back to sleep. Unfortunate I know but it's what I've found, I still purge from time to time. eating small meals often might be the way to go. I would also recommed talking to your school counsellor.
Try to lock me in this cage
I won't just lay me down and die
I will take these broken wings
And watch me burn across the sky
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Old 09-30-2019, 04:36 PM   #3
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Default Re: How did you overcome binge eating/anorexia/bulimia?

I avoid binge eating by not getting binge foods at the store mostly. I don't know it's possible not to do it with having lots of binge foods in the house. I overcame bulimia by not doing it any more after awhile and by realizing why I did it--it was to stay thin to attract a man. Don't care if I attract a man anymore.
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Old 10-03-2019, 02:17 PM   #4
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Default Re: How did you overcome binge eating/anorexia/bulimia?

I wouldn't say I've completely overcome bulimia just yet, I'm at 6 months of a serious attempt at recovery right now and haven't binged or purged this entire time but I still struggle with weight obsession sometimes.

I think the biggest thing that helps me is finding something that matters more to me than food and weight. For myself that's my faith. I'm learning to be okay in the moment and to be happy with my life as it is, that doesn't mean it's perfect but feeling more content has helped me lessen my desire to binge. I listen to my body and eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm actually full. I don't do diets anymore because restricting myself and obsessing always ends up backfiring. But at the same time I don't give myself free reign to binge. I eat foods that are healthy and allow foods that I crave, but in normal quantities. I just try to keep things balanced

I try to keep an eye on my weight due to medication side effects but I keep myself from stepping on the scale multiple times a day and obsessing over it, I put the scale in my closet I don't use and shut the door, then just weight myself every week or two.

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Old 10-05-2019, 05:36 AM   #5
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Default Re: How did you overcome binge eating/anorexia/bulimia?

I would not have classified myself as having an ed. I would say I had disordered eating. I always carried extra weight and had metabolism issues so weight was a struggle growing up. I was always very active and social. I would sometimes try different diets and fasting/not eating. I learned about bulimia in HS and 'tried' it so I could eat what I wanted. I never binged but I would have periods where I felt like I couldnt control my food choices and then I would throw up. This eventually ended up being a food issue and the throwing up stopped. I went through periods of accepting that I couldnt make good food choices and being very strict. After my first child I held on to the extra 60 lbs and then kept on gaining through each pregnancy. By 08' I was 300lbs and had the roux-n-y gastric bypass. It saved my life because it forced portion control and helped me develop sensitivity to things like sugar and fat so I couldnt tolerate it much.
What I wanted to share was what has happened to me because of the bulimia that I never thought of when I was doing it.
I am 44 now. I have Barretts esophogus in addition to reflux I developed due to obesity. The Barretts is from the constant flow of stomach acid into my throat and esophogus. I never knew about it until 5 years ago and by chance when checking for other things they found it with an endoscopy. I now have to take medicine every night to control the acid. I have to have biopsies every year and when they due find some cancer cells they have to scrape them away. I cant drink or eat things like OJ. I wanted to my teeth are wearing out and I have almost no enamel left. The complications of bulimia are real and you will not realize it sometimes for years.
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Old 10-05-2019, 06:05 PM   #6
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Default Re: How did you overcome binge eating/anorexia/bulimia?

I haven't overcome my overeating / binge / bulimia situation yet. What I am currently trying (2nd day), is to eat more protein. I think the restricting causes eating is taboo thoughts, then my emotions overwhelm me and I start eating. Then I feel guilty and sometimes purge. This causes something in the body to trigger hunger. So I eat and do the cycle again. I think if I can just make the body satiated, and not let myself purge... after awhile it will balance out and I will stop over eating. I realize I am risking weight gain during this transition. I don't work hard enough on accepting my overweight self.
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