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Member Since Jul 2020
Location: America
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#1
So I'm visiting my mom and my stepdad said a little while ago "remember when (my name) used to hide biscuits under her pillow?". It just made me feel very ashamed. I think I heard somewhere that some kids have food because they're ashamed and they don't want to be ridiculed for wanting to enjoy something. I'm 26 and I'm that way now. I don't like eating certain foods around my mom or stepdad, especially my stepdad, because I don't want them saying anything or looking at me with looks of disappointment.
I'm obese and I know I have an eating problem. It started when I was sexually assaulted as a kid. As I was growing up my stepdad would say things like " you're going to be as big as a house!" I just decided not to eat when he's around because I didn't want to hear him say anything, I still do that sometimes today, especially if it's something sweet. My mom is my best friend, but I feel like I can't talk to her sometimes about the way I feel because I'm afraid she will just say "get over yourself." She may be right but I still would like to understand the deeper issue into my problem instead of the whole "get over yourself" thing. I don't know why my problem is, but I try time and time again to lose weight but then I give up and one thing that keeps playing in my mind when I give up " I don't want to disappoint my mom or I don't want my to be disappointed in me." It's like I feel like I have to be fit in order for my mom not to look down upon me. She probably doesn't feel that way but I just feel that way and it goes along with me not wanting to eat certain things in front of them. I even snuck food by them cause I didn't want them to say anything to me. I do want to get healthy but I've got to get over whatever it is in my brain that causes me want to give up. I know it's me doing it to myself I just don't know why. |
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Skeezyks
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#2
Hello Hmmmidk: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central. The Relationships & Communication forum, here on PC, may also be of interest to you. Here's a link:
https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/ I'm an old person now. But your post brought back memories. My father used to say I'd lost my appetite & found a mule's. And I had an uncle who called me the garbage can. (Step on his foot & his mouth opens.) I'm sorry you have had to struggle with all of this. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support. Here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's archives, by our host Dr. John Grohol, Psy.D. on the subject of eating disorders: Eating Disorders: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central I hope you find PC to be of benefit. __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Anonymous32451
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#3
Quote:
I was nicknamed dust buster by a few people. because I'd see a peace of unwanted food, and just pick it up and eat it. I was also known as the hoover for a time. most recently: I was asked if I was in a compitition with the tiger who came to tea yeah. these things hurt. a lot |
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