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Old 01-15-2015, 02:37 AM #1
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Default Opinion on childhood emotional neglect?

I found an article on here about childhood emotional neglect and characteristics that may indicate that one has grown up experiencing it. There were 22 characteristics and I relate to every single one of them. I was raised in a household where my input and feelings were unimportant, which still greatly affects me to this day. I have severe trust issues (nearly a phobia), which makes managing friendships and relationships difficult due to the lack of vulnerability and intimacy on my part. There are other things but I'm unsure if the trust issues are a reason behind them.

I furthered my research on CEN a little more and found an article that stated along the lines of, 'those who had grown up in a more emotionally neglectful household have increased chances of developing a personality disorder later in life or becoming involved with someone who does'.

I'm curious to know:
1. How do you feel about this statement? Can you prove it's accuracy or inaccuracy?
2. What are your experiences with CEN and how has it shaped and affected your daily life?

I have no knowledge about the relation of CEN and personality disorders so if anyone would be willing to teach me I would really appreciate it.

I look forward to some input!
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Old 01-15-2015, 03:30 AM #2
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Default Re: Opinion on childhood emotional neglect?

Hi Wookie

In response to this statement:

"I'm curious to know:
1. How do you feel about this statement? Can you prove it's accuracy or inaccuracy?
2. What are your experiences with CEN and how has it shaped and affected your daily life?

I have no knowledge about the relation of CEN and personality disorders so if anyone would be willing to teach me I would really appreciate it.

I look forward to some input!"

I have to honestly say I'm not a mental health professional so I can't offer a professional perspective.

I am not qualified to prove it's accuracy or inaccuracy - a well trained pdoc might be able to shed some light but I doubt they're members on this forum.

I guess it would come down to personal opinion and experiences then.

So I don't think we could really prove / disprove its accuracy as we aren't involved in studies on this issue.

On a personal level, yes, I believe my personality disorder does stem "somewhat" from childhood neglect, but I believe that there are many other factors that contributed to this. That's just a drop in the ocean.

Hope that helps.
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Old 01-15-2015, 07:33 AM #3
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Default Re: Opinion on childhood emotional neglect?

Hi hi. I'd love if you posted a link to the article, if you have the time and don't mind.

I can only speak from my own experience. Growing up, I always felt like I was 'abused' but because I was never physically hurt and my basic needs were always provided for (clothes, food, shelter) I eventually grew up thinking that perhaps I was just a problem child and I should learn to be more grateful. This has transitioned into an "I don't need anyone or anything but myself, my car and my job" type of thinking. Ts opinion is that my parents/family unquestioningly dropped the ball pretty much from birth, whereas I believe they tried the best they knew how to at the time. I have decided to raise my children completely differently and so the pattern will not continue with me.

I was always a very verbal child and I told them how I felt whether vocally or through letters (when I was about seven I once "accidentally" left a note on my parent/caregivers pillow saying I wish I was dead). The only problem is that instead of truly hearing me and helping me, they only got angry that I was saying "mean things to hurt peoples feelings". But, I had my own room (of which I never learned to be comfortable enough to sleep in - ever), went to private school many years, made good grades and so that's all that mattered right? There couldn't have been anything less than perfect going on behind the walls of our house. I was simply a bright child with a vivid imagination who had a flare for the dramatic. This thought pattern from others outside the home didn't even change when I overdosed at twelve years old.

To answer your questions.

1) I feel this statement is fairly accurate as it applies to me, as i've been diagnosed with Dependent Personality Disorder & Schizotypal Personality Disorder.

2) My experiences are mildly listed above, but I can say that they haven't completely held me back. I have some sincere trust issues that make dating pretty much obsolete, and friends limited. But because of this I can say that I have both a clear picture of who my true friends are and what kind of life I don't wish to have (which is leading me more clearly into the type of life I do wish to have).

Again, this is only my opinion related to my own circumstances. *shrug* Hope you get some more input. Good question.
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Old 01-15-2015, 07:50 AM #4
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Default Re: Opinion on childhood emotional neglect?

I feel the same way. . I'm currently trying to help myself. Because of my childhood neglect I feel I'm over emotional and feel I just don't fit in. . My friends tell me I shouldn't Carter to much to my emotions or care to much what people think. But in the end I still feel alone as if no one cares.
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Old 01-15-2015, 10:37 AM #5
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Default Re: Opinion on childhood emotional neglect?

Well, it's a known fact that abuse in childhood has an effect on our mental health. There are some people that would argue the nature/nurture debate but it makes sense that what happens to us in childhood has an impact on us. If you are neglected and feel unloved and unworthy, that's going to effect you. There are many personality disorders that have been researched to show that. See this article >>> Childhood Abuse a Risk Factor for Mental Illness | Psych Central News
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Old 01-15-2015, 01:48 PM #6
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Default Re: Opinion on childhood emotional neglect?

https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/is...nt/effects.cfm

Here is a good article that explains how trauma etc. affect the developing brain.
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Old 01-15-2015, 05:29 PM #7
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Default Re: Opinion on childhood emotional neglect?

Thank you for all your responses! It's really interesting to read other people's perspective.

@tealBumblebee: I dont have enough posts to be allowed to post links. If you search in the bar on PC it will come up titled as "take the childhood emotional neglect test"

@Honeybeez: I tend to become easily overwhelmed by my emotions. I sometimes have a difficult time sorting out which of my feelings are appropriate responses to things as well. For example, watching an emotional movie and falling into a mini depression or not trying to take something like a friend not letting me know they wont be at school as a personal attack. Depending on the situation, like sharing a class together and them being my only friend in the class, I may feel abandoned and I'll begin to think they actually hate me, which is rather irrational thinking.

I haven't been diagnosed with any type of disorder (mostly because of my fear of talking to someone and my denial). But when I was younger I developed an impulse control disorder (self-diagnosed) called trichotillomania. I struggled with that for at least a year and it took me another year to gain almost 100% control over the urges. It was something I kept hidden and to this day I still haven't told anyone about it. I'm unsure if the disorder was a result of feeling neglected or not...But I don't have to worry about pulling out all of my hair anymore (I hope...)!

I had no idea CEN was a thing until very recently so it's kind of comforting to know there is a reason behind some feelings.
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Old 01-18-2015, 03:08 PM #8
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Default Re: Opinion on childhood emotional neglect?

I can vouch for the fact CEN contributes to being involved with someone who has a personality disorder. It is a drop in the ocean though.
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Old 01-18-2015, 03:57 PM #9
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Smile Re: Opinion on childhood emotional neglect?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KaraD View Post
I can vouch for the fact CEN contributes to being involved with someone who has a personality disorder. It is a drop in the ocean though.


Can you expand on this idea? I'd like to understand.
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Old 01-18-2015, 07:08 PM #10
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Default Re: Opinion on childhood emotional neglect?

Sure Susan, the emotional abuse/neglect can develop into attention seeking/emotional validation behavior that reaches out to those that are also affected in ways similar. Personality/emotional disorder. We seek out what we are ourselves, usually.
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