Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and sheltered? - Page 2 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 04-21-2018, 09:19 AM #11
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Default Re: Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and shelte

what if i'm retarded and everyone is just playing along - conspiracy keanu - quickmeme
This totally was the case for me back in the day.
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Old 04-21-2018, 09:35 AM #12
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Default Re: Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and shelte

Well the truth is that you are not better or worse than anyone else. We all have our issues. Your description of your childhood doesnít sound like you were spoiled or sheltered. Teaching a child to fear authority figures is actually kind of abusive.

What a are you doing now, today to work on whatís bothering you? Have you considered therapy or a life coach, self help groups, etc.
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Old 04-21-2018, 12:02 PM #13
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Default Re: Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and shelte

You mean you did not see how messed up one of my complaints was? I was prone to screaming tantrums and authority figures just let me get away with them.
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Old 04-21-2018, 12:11 PM #14
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Default Re: Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and shelte

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Originally Posted by vafhj View Post
You mean you did not see how messed up one of my complaints was? I was prone to screaming tantrums and authority figures just let me get away with them.
OK, Iím not really understanding what your point is. Are you looking for someone to blame for your behavior ....if your behavior seems unacceptable to you.

All Iím saying is that if you think you have a problem then be proactive and get help. Iím not a professional and canít really offer any concrete reasons why you are the way you are.
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Old 04-21-2018, 07:49 PM #15
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Default Re: Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and shelte

I was surrounded by nice, responsible and caring adults throughout my early childhood.

When I went to the hospital and saw the adult staff acting badly towards the patients it was a huge deal for me. I had never seen adults acting that way before. And especially not towards kids.
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Old 04-24-2018, 08:43 PM #16
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Default Re: Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and shelte

I was sheltered. My parents were controlling and kept me away from a normal teenage time, anyway. That has caused some of my problems, but through therapy and persistence I am okay now.
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Old 04-25-2018, 06:41 PM #17
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Default Re: Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and shelte

Nope, neither spoiled nor sheltered. Wasn't exactly exposed to the worst of the worst. Did, fortunately, by grace or something, have nurturing and compassion around.

It takes plenty of elbow grease and fortitude to reconcile the past. Resentment is a bitter pill. Hope you can overcome the grieving of what brings forth the question.
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Old 04-25-2018, 07:14 PM #18
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Default Re: Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and shelte

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loose Screw x 2 View Post
I blame some of my conditions on being sheltered by an excessively over-protective parent who raised me to be fearful of authority figures and retribution.
I know that it wasn't the parent's fault because they had been raised the same way but, not for the same reasons.
The parent's parents were described as unloving, cold and stern.
The parent was a very uncofident, fearful and anxious person and the other parent who was very confident and self-reliant just wasn't around to offer better advice about how to go about living so, that's why I grew up that way.
Because of this I have had to find ways to better myself and learn how to make adjustments and modifications in order to survive.
Even now I am still learning that there is no end to what I can do with my mind when I am focused and inspired. You can do that too.

EDIT: You have to find something to get ambitious about and then, set out to make it yours.
This world is filled with many riches. Set your sights on the one that appeals to you the most and then, make it your goal to obtain it at any cost.
And don't forget "condescending"....
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Old 04-25-2018, 07:20 PM #19
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Default Re: Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and shelte

I feel my mother often did too many of my own tasks for me as a child, and as a result, I failed to learn how to do things for myself until much later than my peers. A very good example of this would be when I had to create a report for school. She would type out my reports as I dictated them to her, and this happened quite a lot. When it came time for me to type out my own reports at the computer, I really didn't know how to do it. I hadn't learned to use a word processor very efficiently nor how to type with two hands instead of plucking away with my one index finger. I also didn't know how to research very well because she would often oversee that aspect of the report process as well.

When it came to making friends, she and the mother of whomever I wanted to play with would arrange a playdate for us. It was nice at first, but after a while, the girls I often played with wouldn't want to play with me anymore. The girls wouldn't tell me directly, but rather, tell their mothers who would tell mine. I suppose they didn't want to come across as mean spirited, or wanted to hurt my feelings, which in hindsight, I do appreciate, but it still stung that they no longer wanted to play with me anymore.

I suppose it might have something to do with events that took place at their houses. One time I was playing hide and seek with one of these girls in their unfinished basement. There were a variety of things to hide behind, including a bunch of glass storm windows that this particular girl's parents would remove every spring from the windows on their house and store in the basement until it got cooler in the fall. I don't remember the specifics of what happened, but I recall the storm windows leaning up against the wall of the basement, creating a sort of triangle shaped space between them and the wall and floor. I was peering into this space thinking that one of my friends was hiding behind there during the game. I started shifting the window panes to get a better look, when one of them, a particularly huge pane of glass, fell down onto the floor in a great thunderous crash, shattering into about a million pieces.

I honestly didn't mean to break their storm window, nor thought it would even break apart like it did. In my mind, I thought that if it one of them did fall, the wooden frame would catch it somehow and prevent it from breaking. At least that was what my 6 year old self's logic at that time.

Needless to say, both the girl's parents and my own weren't at all too happy, and as a result, my parents payed for the damages, which came out of my allowance.

Another thing, I think played a factor was the budding sexuality I had and my confusions over it. My one friend had this idea to start a silly little club, as kids are prone to do at times, and declared that the initiation for this club was to crawl into the space under the stairs with a club member (i.e. her), close the door to this space so that she and the "initiate" were in total darkness, and the "initiate" was to kiss her on the lips. It was a silly thing, I suppose, but as a result, it became my first ever kiss with another human being. It had awakened some confusing feelings inside of me, and I guess that these feelings gave off vibes enough to make this girl, and the friends we shared, not want to hang out with me anymore.

I think all of these factors and experiences are why I am whom I am today, just as anyone's childhood experiences form a part of why they are who they are as adults. It doesn't mean that they are the way they are because of these experiences, or that these expeirences define their adult selves. It simply means that the experiences we are exposed to growing up sort of...influence our decisions as an adult. We can either choose to let them continue to influence our adult selves, or learn from them, understand them, and control whether or not they influence our adult selves, or find a more healthy way to express our adult selves if our pasts aren't that with which we are proud of, or want to influence our lives.

It's not really my mother's fault, she simply thought she was helping me. It's also not those girls' fault either. I am who I am today because of what I choose to be. I am in control of all parts of me, body, mind, soul, and emotions. I may be learning things on a later schedule than my peers because I always had things done for me when I was younger, because it was thought of as helpful to keep me at the same developmental pace as my peers, and maybe it did more harm than good, but we can't change the past now can we?

As a wise baboon once said...

"Yes, the past can hurt, but as I see it, you can either run from it....or learn from it."

~Rafiki, Disney's "The Lion King"
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Old 05-01-2018, 06:11 AM #20
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Default Re: Do you believe that some of your problems were caused by being spoiled and shelte

I wouldnít say I was spoiled or sheltered, but I was brought up to be very non confrontational. I didnít deal with criticism as a kid, it was just praise from all corners. I was secretly being bullied at school but I didnít complain, I hated everyday in school

Iím a grown up now and I donít know how to deal with confrontations or people who donít like me. They suck the life out of me, wish I knew how to ignore people
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