Brother not getting help he needs?

My mom doesn’t want to admit that my brother has a problem. And it’s frustrating. He’s morbidly obese and he hasn’t seen a general physician since he was a teenager. He’s almost 30. My mom has no idea what he weighs yet we have an expensive working scale. My dad died of complications of diabetes. I’m pretty sure my brother has diabetes or is at least prediabetes. I don’t get why she won’t take him to the doctor for a yearly check up that will be 100% paid for by insurance. He sees a therapist and a psychiatrist because he has autism and has OCD. Both are quacks. My mom realizes this but doesn’t want to do anything about it. He slurs his speech and has difficulty speaking. Almost like MS or Parkinson’s or something. I tell her to take him to the doctor to rule out anything physical. Since I have always thought that is what you do first. Her answer is “well, I took him to a neurologist before.” Yeah. You took him when he was 10 and under. What good will that do him now? He had really bad epilepsy when he was a little. Could it be returning?

Every time I mention any of this to her she completely blows up at me. She is so over protective of him but doesn’t want to do anything for some reason. Does anyone know why she wouldn’t want to? Is she in denial or something?

You seem to have a bit of an attitude towards doctors, imho. Just my observation. "quacks?", yet you are upset with your mother about your brother. That is her child, not yours. If she sent him to a neurologist, I think that was the best she could do. I think it's fine you suggested it once, but it is not your responsibility to go further, I'm not trying to upset you, but possibly you should release yourself from this burden you feel to try to help your brother? Also, being overweight is not what causes type 2 diabetes. It's fluctuating the amount of food, from too little at a meal to too much at another. Best wishes.

I'm sorry about your brother. I don't think she's in denial since he's already seeing a therapist. Perhaps she's afraid other problems will come up? But like 2daffodils said, you can only do so much to help. I'm sorry.

One doctor worked for an abusive pyschaitric hospital that abused me. If he was so great and all that, then why didn’t he stop the abuse from happening at the hospital instead of turning the other way? The therapist has medical issues and cannot hear very well and spends most of the sessions half asleep. So yes. These doctors seem a bit off to me. I’m just concerned since my dad died from diabetes and my mom has it too. It runs in my family and I think she should at least get him checked out.

((((Mountaindewed))))

It seems you are transferring your own negative experience with a doctor(s) onto them all. You have said your brother sees professional help for other reasons. These doctors may be treating these issues as the ones needing primary attention. Besides, you don't go to his sessions so how are you so sure to know that his weight and possible health issues have not been discussed and broached? A psychiatrist is still a medical doctor. If he is concerned he would have referred your brother to seek medical attention. Incidentally, is your brother on medication. Most psychiatric medications require regular blood tests. His psychiatrist would order a round of them with a broader scope including those that would indicate further testing was required for diabetes. No, I trust he is in good hands.

As for your mother, it does sound like there might be a co-dependent relationship. But that is theirs and not yours to solve. You have spoken apparently repeatedly to your mom. Leave it at that. What you might be able to do is to encourage her to get help as a support person - like attending a support for caregivers of the mentally ill.

Have you offered to be of help and take the responsibility to get him to the doctor. I think th s t is what I would do.