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Default Feb 02, 2019 at 04:54 AM
  #1
Default Dont want to go back to DBT group.
So I've been doing the DBT group therapy for a while a now. I'm nearly finished just one more month.
But I noticed myself well it feels Im going backwards.

What happened was our group had 3 weeks off because of Christmas and the hoildays. When I came back we had a fairly new member in our DBT group I mean they join mid last year but disappeared at one point and then came back. But this person will NOT cover up there marks let's say. In the DBT rules its required to cover up. This person will not do it. Then I saw another client in our group who didnt covered up either. It just brought back all those feelings because I use to do that but I haven't for months. So it was a real triggered for me.
Last week one of the clients who refuse to cover up got upset because they heard people talking in the other room. So one of the therapist told them to move position were we sat round the table and the other therapist went and told the people who were having there own therapy to be quite in other room. Then the other therapist said we have a break because the other client was stressed. In the past when we had different therapist if some one was upset or even cry we just ignored them and carry on with the session. I never felt it was right to ignore them but I knew if we did do some thing then group therapy wont be doing the lessons we need to learn in the group sessions.
When we had the break the one client who was upset about hearing the people in the other room and refuse to cover up there marks was going on about how they get alert in exam month. I thought to be kind and try to vaildate the person because when they mentioned they get alert during exam month. It reminded me when I was alert for months with this therapist I had for 2 years and how it utterly exhausted me and I got sick because well the therapy wasnt working and made me whole lot worse.
Anyway I said to them "It must've been exhausting for you "? And there response was quite aggressive but in a mild tone and said "Of course,of course " and I felt this huge sense of shame because I thought I did some thing wrong and felt told off. There response reminded me how my sister reacts to me quite aggressively some times
. Then later on in our group session the therapist was explaining emotional mind and logical mind using supermarket as an example. They say logical mind at supermarket would be the food you need like fish, chicken vegtables how much you need and emotional mind is and I said just being my happy self "chocolate" and then that same person said "well obviously". I just felt a sense of shame as if I did some thing wrong and I'm dumb.
Well after that group session well for 2 weeks I feel I'm getting worse. I'm crying more often like I cried 4 times and with reasons of being extremely sensitive what people say to me. I been having say self destructive thoughts. Also feeling happy of the thought to do it.
I really dont want to go back to DBT group. I'm scared because I dont know how that person is going to react. And it seems to disrupt the sessions. Also I dont want those self destructive thoughts to come back again and go down hill again.
If I tell my therapist they probably encourage me to go even though that group therapy making me worse. I dont know what to do. I thought just to avoid going all together.
Also is it normal what I have described to happen in a DBT group?
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Default Feb 02, 2019 at 05:37 AM
  #2
I'm so sorry, TeaFruit I'd suggest to talk to your therapists about this and see how it goes from there. These issues are important and it's worth talking about them. Also, are you sure this person is being aggressive to you or is it just a feeling you have? Sometimes we project how we feel about ourselves towards the comments other people make towards us. Of course your feelings are still important, so I'd say this is something worth discussing. Please don't give up. Try to do a few more sessions if you can. Try to hang on. I hope you'll feel better soon. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Remember that we're here for you. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say. We care about you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm also here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Default Feb 02, 2019 at 06:00 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeaFruit View Post
.
Anyway I said to them "It must've been exhausting for you "? And there response was quite aggressive but in a mild tone and said "Of course,of course "

and I felt this huge sense of shame because I thought I did some thing wrong and felt told off. There response reminded me how my sister reacts to me quite aggressively some times
.
Also is it normal what I have described to happen in a DBT group?
I cannot answer your last question, but...but..but..but...

I clipped out something that you wrote because it really seems important in a breakthrough sense.

I don't think the of course of course was aggressive because I can come up with a million other ways that could be an aggressive response and that isn't one of them but it brought up how your sister has made you feel and tapping into how the past shapes the present and our interactions with others it might be a decent therapy focus. Just a thought. I know your focus in the op is about many other areas at the same time don't let this part get lost in the muddiness of it all.
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Default Feb 03, 2019 at 02:40 PM
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I'm so sorry, TeaFruit I'd suggest to talk to your therapists about this and see how it goes from there. These issues are important and it's worth talking about them. Also, are you sure this person is being aggressive to you or is it just a feeling you have? Sometimes we project how we feel about ourselves towards the comments other people make towards us. Of course your feelings are still important, so I'd say this is something worth discussing. Please don't give up. Try to do a few more sessions if you can. Try to hang on. I hope you'll feel better soon. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Remember that we're here for you. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say. We care about you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm also here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

Well there tone was very much snappy and loud when they responded to me. That's why I said mild aggression.
I mean this is my experience in the group I dont even know if its "healthy" pre say what I have experience.
Thank you for your reply I really appreciate it. It was very sweet
Well...in my experience being in the DBT group. First we had two therapist psychologist. One of them left and then this socail worker who was trained to do DBT came in. Then the other psychologist left too. So for a while it was socail worker who was trained in DBT and a student therapist. Suddenly we then had a new psychologist come in they were there for a while...maybe couple of months. Then they decided to leave too because they were going to get involved in another group therapy.
So now it's just the socail worker who trained in DBT and the student therapist.
There was at one point during class that maybe 3 of the clients got up in different times, to answer there phone and leave the room. I heard the socail worker saying "I dont have control of them room"
The person who got upset by the voices in the other room and refuse to cover up his marks he works with the socail worker outside of DBT group. I know this cause they discussed at end of group therapy what time to make the appointment.

So yeah, I dont know if I answered your question correctly but that's what happened in my DBT group so far.
I mean I dont know if thats even normal for DBT group to behave that way. I dont know if constant change of therapist in a group is good for clients since we experience sensitivity to rejection.
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Default Feb 04, 2019 at 09:35 AM
  #5
I belong to a Mood Disorder group at the hospital which is facilitated by psych nurses and other mental heal practitioners. For the most part we are left to our own in our smaller break away groups when it comes to round table discussion and sharing. They are pretty strict though when it comes to 'dangerous' and unhelpful talk - whether that be to one's person or someone else. Frankly, I am surprised to hear this isn't hapening in your group. The first thing that raised my eyebrows was the participants not observing the ground rules. The facilitators ought to have taken immediate action on this. The second bit that bugs me - and you are correct to be so irked too - is that the facilitators have allowed the member's own problem to direct the energy and direction of the group as a whole. This person should have been taken aside privately and reminded of the group rules and appropriate conduct. If they were having a mental health moment that required addressing it would have been better too to do so off to the side.

Basically input from the table ought to be governed in such a manner that it be of value to the pariticipants, and be an aid to recovery. Anything that takes away from this and is of a hinderance to the group should be dealt with. By not holding the group accountable to the rules and observance of agreed upon (I sure hope this is happening) conduct, the facilitators have essentially lost control.
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Default Feb 04, 2019 at 10:15 AM
  #6
I understand how you feel, TeaFruit I agree with WishfulThinker66. Your therapists should avoid letting one person dominate the entire conversation. Perhaps you could try to find another DBT group? Is there anyone available near your citi? I'm so sorry, please don't give up. I hope you'll be able to find the help you need. Sending many hugs to you
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Default Feb 05, 2019 at 12:56 PM
  #7
Wrong group for you. Best to leave them.

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Default Feb 05, 2019 at 06:20 PM
  #8
I was in a DBT group for 2 years. New people came & went.....but one thing I will say....rules were enforced. We never had a coved up issue but if there had been the cover up rule would have been enforced & those people would not have had a choice.

Respectful responses to others just always happened but our group was mostly older women. But if it hadn't, a comment would have been made by our psychologist group leader.

I will make one observation after having beem
N through 2 years of intense DBT.....you should have learned DBT skills to handle situations like you have encountered & are having problems with. If you have issues with how someone comes across to you....use your interpersonal effectiveness skills to deal with it. Use mindfulness to look at the big picture to get a better picture of the other person & emotional regulation skills to help you handle the emotions this situation is causing you.

Yea, this environment is nothing like the DBT group I experienced.....BUT the DBT skills are to help you deal with the real world & what you are experiencing in your group is the crap you do experience in the real world. Seems to me like this situation is giving you a good opportunity to apply the skills you have learned.

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