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Old 11-30-2018, 12:12 PM #1
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Default Is this how most people are?

Here is how I see the world and others. The question is: how different is it for others to experience the social interactions:

When I first meet someone I usually try to gently take over as the dominant one. The reasons I do is to quickly test the person and whether he or she is useful or useless. Also in almost any conversation I know that Im simply smarter so obviously I should lead the conversation. I know only 2 people who I genuinely think are on my level.

If the person is found to be useless then I will limit my interactions with her or him to zero or nearly zero.

If the person shows the potential to be useful (for example he has a business with an interesting product that I may help him sell for a %, a cop who may share information or its that rare someone who is able to maintain a high level conversation) then I will put on the mask of an interesting guy who the person should communicate with for mutual benefit. For example towards the businessman Id be playing the role of a great salesman with a vision and a natural talent in marketing "which can be used for mutual benefit", towards the cop I will show impressive knowledge of the stock exchange and so on.

Either way: with useful people I catch their minds and show my value.

As a result I have about 20 close buddies of both genders. New people come in (several a year) while some old who have become useless are discarded.

Im 41 and I live alone. There were about 10-12 girls who were into me during my life, I mean to the point of being ready to marry me. Yet none of them was what I truly wanted. Most of them got traumatised to a certain degree by how our relationships had ended. Right now Im single and my interest in women is declining, although I enjoy charming ladies here and there, but just for fun and to enjoy their frustrations. Oh yes I also used to torment girls as I was younger. To give them lots of hope only to ghost them later was my main trait. Sometimes I would come back to them and all of them would always welcome me back. But Id betray them again.

I visited a therapist to discuss my life 4-5 years ago, but she didnt really like talking to me so there was no second meeting.

So am I normal or not?
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Old 11-30-2018, 12:20 PM #2
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Default Re: Is this how most people are?

Normal for a soulless person.
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Old 11-30-2018, 12:52 PM #3
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Smile Re: Is this how most people are?

Well... since you're a 2+ year member, here on PC, I presume you know we cannot offer mental health diagnoses. So saying whether or not you are "normal" is outside of the scope of what we can do here. Plus I'm not a mental health professional. So anything I say is simply my own personal non-professional opinion.

That said, based on what you wrote, it sounds to be as though you perhaps exhibit traits one would typically think might fall into the narcissistic personality disorder category. But, of course, to really figure out what is going on with you, you'd need to consult a mental health professional. In the meantime, however, here are links to some articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of NPD including a quiz you can take:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder vs. Normal Narcissism

Are You a Narcissist? | The Exhausted Woman

Questions About Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Narcissists

Narcissistic Personality Quiz | Psych Central

Hope some of this helps...
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Old 11-30-2018, 01:08 PM #4
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Default Re: Is this how most people are?

I think you would want to go back to therapy...
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Old 11-30-2018, 01:54 PM #5
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Default Re: Is this how most people are?

I don't know if you're normal or not, but you must be a blast at parties.
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Old 11-30-2018, 01:59 PM #6
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Default Re: Is this how most people are?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lefty Seven View Post
I don't know if you're normal or not, but you must be a blast at parties.
I never go to parties as I dont understand the concept. Although I think that blending in between all of those representatives of idiocy of today could open ways to get new information which is usually the most interesting part of it all.

I mean people at parties get drunk and all; and maybe they become talkative.
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Old 11-30-2018, 02:08 PM #7
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Default Re: Is this how most people are?

I don't know if the people on this site would consider them selves normal, maybe before finding out about there possible MI. For me I thought I was normal, but found out that most people haven't gone through what I have. So I can't answer your question, bc I don't know what is normal.
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Old 11-30-2018, 02:11 PM #8
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Default Re: Is this how most people are?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inaccurate View Post
I never go to parties as I dont understand the concept.
I can relate to this. Ive often said it myself. You might be aspergeric. Or had been raised by one? David Wallin's book on Attachment might be informative, or anything on Childhood Emotional Neglect, a fairly new concept. People used to think, "no harm, no foul / abuse"? - but isolation / neglect IS harm.

I see it as, nothing was put into that bucket, so i dont have anything to give from there. Therapy can put SOME stuff into the bucket and make a person more "normal".
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Old 11-30-2018, 02:35 PM #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna View Post
I can relate to this. Ive often said it myself. You might be aspergeric. Or had been raised by one? David Wallin's book on Attachment might be informative, or anything on Childhood Emotional Neglect, a fairly new concept. People used to think, "no harm, no foul / abuse"? - but isolation / neglect IS harm.

I see it as, nothing was put into that bucket, so i dont have anything to give from there. Therapy can put SOME stuff into the bucket and make a person more "normal".
Imagine the party would lead to a drunk orgy though, would you go then?
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Old 11-30-2018, 02:39 PM #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inaccurate View Post
Imagine the party would lead to a drunk orgy though, would you go then?
Been there, done that, thanks!
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