Signs you are overstaying your welcome - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-10-2019, 10:31 AM #1
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,378
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Poohbah
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,378

3 yr Member
201 hugs
given
Default Signs you are overstaying your welcome

I am just curious, how can you tell if you are overstaying your welcome, especially if your friend still lives with your parents? Sometimes when I am over at a friendís house, I will help with certain things like setting the table or cleaning up after a dinner if there is one. This helps and they like it when I do this. It is appreciated. But sometimes I wonder if there are times where I could be overstaying my welcome even though I never invite myself.

Anyone know how to tell if someone is subtly sending signals that they need a break from me being over? Iím sure if someone was short with you constantly, that would indicate a sign but if someone is not short with you and hides it, then it may be more difficult. I donít spend every day there but I just like to be careful at times since we do hang out a few times a week.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 01-10-2019, 11:01 AM #2
Buffy01 Buffy01 is online now
Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 2,491
Buffy01 Buffy01 is online now
Magnate
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 2,491 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
3,629 hugs
given
Default Re: Signs you are overstaying your welcome

Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
I am just curious, how can you tell if you are overstaying your welcome, especially if your friend still lives with your parents? Sometimes when I am over at a friendís house, I will help with certain things like setting the table or cleaning up after a dinner if there is one. This helps and they like it when I do this. It is appreciated. But sometimes I wonder if there are times where I could be overstaying my welcome even though I never invite myself.

Anyone know how to tell if someone is subtly sending signals that they need a break from me being over? Iím sure if someone was short with you constantly, that would indicate a sign but if someone is not short with you and hides it, then it may be more difficult. I donít spend every day there but I just like to be careful at times since we do hang out a few times a week.
I struggle with this myself! It depends on the situation. Such as with my sister friend she doesn't have the clue and don't really care that she overstayed her welcome. Sometime it just little things like coming over multiple times throughout the day and assuming that your welcome over, calling every hour. Ask yourself if your being toxic to the relationship? Or you could ask if they feel that you over welcome your stay? Have they said something to you? Sometime you can tell by telling way person act if they are being cold toward you. It could be a sign.
Buffy01 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-10-2019, 11:13 AM #3
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,378
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Poohbah
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,378

3 yr Member
201 hugs
given
Default Re: Signs you are overstaying your welcome

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
I struggle with this myself! It depends on the situation. Such as with my sister friend she doesn't have the clue and don't really care that she overstayed her welcome. Sometime it just little things like coming over multiple times throughout the day and assuming that your welcome over, calling every hour. Ask yourself if your being toxic to the relationship? Or you could ask if they feel that you over welcome your stay? Have they said something to you? Sometime you can tell by telling way person act if they are being cold toward you. It could be a sign.
Oh wow, yeah I definitely donít do what your sisterís friend does which is ignoring the signs. I pay close attention. Yeah I donít go over multiple times in a day and never assume I am welcome. They never act cold and no one has said anything but yeah I am careful. I am never toxic either and never invite myself. It is just more of a worrh and yeah I could ask. Although I have asked my friend and made sure my friendís parents are okay at times with it when it is just me and her because parents could get annoyed faster than friends but she says they are fine. I am still careful though.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-11-2019, 04:58 PM #4
WishfulThinker66's Avatar
WishfulThinker66 WishfulThinker66 is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,850
WishfulThinker66 WishfulThinker66 is offline
Grand Poohbah
WishfulThinker66's Avatar
WishfulThinker66 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,850 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
139 hugs
given
Default Re: Signs you are overstaying your welcome

Aslong as you are invited and contribute in the way you do I don't see that there would be much of a problem. Clearly though this question is of concern. I then would simply ask and exactly as you have posted it here, "Am I overstaying my welcome?"

So I am thinking of situations I have been in where someone in fact was overstaying their welcom. It was when my sons were older teenagers. Our house seemed to be that house full of teenagers. Well the friends of my one son were gracious and I enjoyed having them over. They were polite and always quick to lend a hand - even with preparing dinner. The friends of my stepson however were users. Never once did they offer to help or do anything. What's more they expected it be done for them. Well I wouldn't have that after a while and simply told them off and invited them never to come back again.

Again, since you are obviously in the first category and nothing has been said to you I would assume you are on a positive footing. Keep up the offering to help. It goes amazingly far.
WishfulThinker66 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-11-2019, 05:07 PM #5
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,378
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Poohbah
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,378

3 yr Member
201 hugs
given
Default Re: Signs you are overstaying your welcome

Quote:
Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66 View Post
Aslong as you are invited and contribute in the way you do I don't see that there would be much of a problem. Clearly though this question is of concern. I then would simply ask and exactly as you have posted it here, "Am I overstaying my welcome?"

So I am thinking of situations I have been in where someone in fact was overstaying their welcom. It was when my sons were older teenagers. Our house seemed to be that house full of teenagers. Well the friends of my one son were gracious and I enjoyed having them over. They were polite and always quick to lend a hand - even with preparing dinner. The friends of my stepson however were users. Never once did they offer to help or do anything. What's more they expected it be done for them. Well I wouldn't have that after a while and simply told them off and invited them never to come back again.

Again, since you are obviously in the first category and nothing has been said to you I would assume you are on a positive footing. Keep up the offering to help. It goes amazingly far.
Oh wow well I'm glad your son had helpful friends and glad you got rid of the ones that were users. Yeah I am like how your son's friends were. I help prepare dinner, clean up, even help decorate or take down decorations and contribute to anything else going on. I never expect anything.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-12-2019, 05:31 AM #6
WishfulThinker66's Avatar
WishfulThinker66 WishfulThinker66 is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,850
WishfulThinker66 WishfulThinker66 is offline
Grand Poohbah
WishfulThinker66's Avatar
WishfulThinker66 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,850 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
139 hugs
given
Default Re: Signs you are overstaying your welcome

Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
Oh wow well I'm glad your son had helpful friends and glad you got rid of the ones that were users. Yeah I am like how your son's friends were. I help prepare dinner, clean up, even help decorate or take down decorations and contribute to anything else going on. I never expect anything.
I think you are a wonderful person and I am sure your hosts think so too. If this was not the way, they would have spoken to you about it long ago. If it were me, I'd be very appreciative of you and you would be a welcome guest to have. Keep it up. If I was either of your parents I would be proud for raising you right.
WishfulThinker66 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-12-2019, 11:10 AM #7
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,378
rdgrad15 rdgrad15 is offline
Poohbah
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,378

3 yr Member
201 hugs
given
Default Re: Signs you are overstaying your welcome

Quote:
Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66 View Post
I think you are a wonderful person and I am sure your hosts think so too. If this was not the way, they would have spoken to you about it long ago. If it were me, I'd be very appreciative of you and you would be a welcome guest to have. Keep it up. If I was either of your parents I would be proud for raising you right.
Thank you.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-13-2019, 06:04 PM #8
Buffy01 Buffy01 is online now
Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 2,491
Buffy01 Buffy01 is online now
Magnate
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 2,491 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
3,629 hugs
given
Default Re: Signs you are overstaying your welcome

Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
Oh wow, yeah I definitely donít do what your sisterís friend does which is ignoring the signs. I pay close attention. Yeah I donít go over multiple times in a day and never assume I am welcome. They never act cold and no one has said anything but yeah I am careful. I am never toxic either and never invite myself. It is just more of a worrh and yeah I could ask. Although I have asked my friend and made sure my friendís parents are okay at times with it when it is just me and her because parents could get annoyed faster than friends but she says they are fine. I am still careful though.
I agree with what you said about my sister friend. You probably have nothing to worry about.
Buffy01 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-13-2019, 06:06 PM #9
Buffy01 Buffy01 is online now
Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 2,491
Buffy01 Buffy01 is online now
Magnate
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 2,491 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
3,629 hugs
given
Default Re: Signs you are overstaying your welcome

Quote:
Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66 View Post
Aslong as you are invited and contribute in the way you do I don't see that there would be much of a problem. Clearly though this question is of concern. I then would simply ask and exactly as you have posted it here, "Am I overstaying my welcome?"

So I am thinking of situations I have been in where someone in fact was overstaying their welcom. It was when my sons were older teenagers. Our house seemed to be that house full of teenagers. Well the friends of my one son were gracious and I enjoyed having them over. They were polite and always quick to lend a hand - even with preparing dinner. The friends of my stepson however were users. Never once did they offer to help or do anything. What's more they expected it be done for them. Well I wouldn't have that after a while and simply told them off and invited them never to come back again.

Again, since you are obviously in the first category and nothing has been said to you I would assume you are on a positive footing. Keep up the offering to help. It goes amazingly far.
That is great advice!. Sometimes people don't always know that they are not welcome..
Buffy01 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-13-2019, 06:11 PM #10
Buffy01 Buffy01 is online now
Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 2,491
Buffy01 Buffy01 is online now
Magnate
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 2,491 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
3,629 hugs
given
Default Re: Signs you are overstaying your welcome

Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
Oh wow well I'm glad your son had helpful friends and glad you got rid of the ones that were users. Yeah I am like how your son's friends were. I help prepare dinner, clean up, even help decorate or take down decorations and contribute to anything else going on. I never expect anything.
I had an ex-friend who parent didn't want her to have any friends and start being hateful toward all of her friends. They thought I was user because I had call and she had invite me out. I had no way to get there so she offer to take come by. I always paid for gas and always thank them everytime.
Buffy01 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:24 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.