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Old 02-06-2019, 07:27 PM #21
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
eskie makes some good points.

Tell me, are you going to school? Because if you are, you can talk to the guidance counseler and let her know what you are experiencing and ask where you can get some help.
Yes I do go to school.

As for my dad, he is a chemist.

My dad usually wonít yell back when my mom yell at him, bc he know it will only make it worse. And I think part of the reason he just takes all of the yelling without fighting back is because of me.I think he just doesnít want to scare me I guess.
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Old 02-06-2019, 07:34 PM #22
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

If you are in school then you can ask to talk to the guidance counselor. It's an option you can think about.

Also, even if you don't have Autism spectrum challenges, what you are experiencing is still toxic. Was your mother always like this?
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Old 02-06-2019, 08:15 PM #23
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by hEALerCOol View Post
Um.. thereís a little misunderstanding here and itís my fault. I accidentally selected that Autistic spectrum is my first concern but itís not.
Actually none of us in my family struggle with autistic spectrum😂
Story for the misunderstanding 😂😂
Good to know....thanks for correcting our misunderstanding too. I looked at your profile one time I it was there & checked again & it wasn't listed.....so good to know that was incorrect
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Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Old 02-06-2019, 08:19 PM #24
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by hEALerCOol View Post
Yes I do go to school.

As for my dad, he is a chemist.

My dad usually wonít yell back when my mom yell at him, bc he know it will only make it worse. And I think part of the reason he just takes all of the yelling without fighting back is because of me.I think he just doesnít want to scare me I guess.
Some people like your dad just learned good skills to not respond to yelling with yelling especially if they didn't grow up around it.
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My parent fight a lot.....



Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Old 02-06-2019, 11:20 PM #25
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

[QUOTE=Open Eyes;6428197]
Also, even if you don't have Autism spectrum challenges, what you are experiencing is still toxic. Was your mother always like this?

I think she has been like this for a very long time.
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Old 02-07-2019, 12:43 AM #26
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

Do you have a good relationship with your mom & dad?

Maybe when you are totally alone with each of them totally individually you could just ask each one separately "what makes you & mom(dad) fight so much?

At least you would get each of their separate opinions that they are willing to tell you. It also may open up some discussion. At 17.....you are no longer just a child & quite capable of having an adult quality discussion with them.

Lol....I remember wanting to move out of my parents house when I was 13. Looking back I must have realized the stress they were causing me even then.

I graduated high school at 17. Are you going to college? Can you see if you can go away to school & live at the university?
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My parent fight a lot.....



Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Old 02-07-2019, 01:18 AM #27
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
Do you have a good relationship with your mom & dad?

Maybe when you are totally alone with each of them totally individually you could just ask each one separately "what makes you & mom(dad) fight so much?

At least you would get each of their separate opinions that they are willing to tell you. It also may open up some discussion. At 17.....you are no longer just a child & quite capable of having an adult quality discussion with them.

Lol....I remember wanting to move out of my parents house when I was 13. Looking back I must have realized the stress they were causing me even then.

I graduated high school at 17. Are you going to college? Can you see if you can go away to school & live at the university?
I really donít feel like to ask my mom about the reason why she is being so angry all the time since she would deny it for sure.

I think my relationship with them is quite good, except when my mom is not in her mood she would sometimes yell at me too. I usually yell back ( and louder ) because as I mentioned earlier I would be very angry if she is being unreasonable again. Well I guess the best way to prevent a yelling turn into a much bigger fight is simply acting like my dad. I guess I still have a lot to learn🧐
And yes I am definitely going to move out to college.
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Old 02-07-2019, 06:41 AM #28
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

Quote:
I really donít feel like to ask my mom about the reason why she is being so angry all the time since she would deny it for sure.
I wouldn't ask why she is angry either. I would just ask why they fight so much & I would ask each separately to see how each one perceives what is going on.....the question would be regarding the fighting not the anger.

Anger is a personal feeling & I would definitely stay away from questioning about that.

Glad you are moving out for college. I didn't have that option & living at home & going to college was a challenge. Even when I worked I couldn't afford to move out & get my degree also & my parents had no money for my college & my dad really didn't want me to go. So I blew them off & went anyway but was stuck living at home & it was in a very small house.
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My parent fight a lot.....



Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Old 02-07-2019, 07:44 AM #29
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

Getting into yelling matches with your mom is only using her way of unhealthy communicating and that's not something you should be engaging in as you may end up practicing that yourself in your own relationships which as you can see when it comes to your parents it's a terrible relationship and their environment is unhealthy. It's important that you make sure you don't see this as what is "normal" in a relationship either. Your parents are not communicating with each other, instead your mother just consistently yells at your father. In all honesty, this has been unhealthy for you in that you honestly don't know what a "healthy" relationship looks like, but instead constantly witnessed an unhealthy one instead.

I am thinking about a note for the refrigerator, "Thanks Mom and Dad, I am getting ready to go out in the world not even knowing what a HEALTHY relationship even looks like. I don't want to be the screamer in a relationship, I also don't want to be the one who gets constantly picked on and screamed at either. As a child it's a terrible envionment to grow up in".
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Old 02-07-2019, 08:59 AM #30
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

Just beware.....using passive aggressive techniques of communicating is no more healthy than yelling. It is just a different form of unhealthy communication.
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My parent fight a lot.....



Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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