My parent fight a lot..... - Page 4 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 02-08-2019, 01:39 AM #31
hEALerCOol hEALerCOol is offline
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

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Originally Posted by Open Eyes View Post
Getting into yelling matches with your mom is only using her way of unhealthy communicating and that's not something you should be engaging in as you may end up practicing that yourself in your own relationships which as you can see when it comes to your parents it's a terrible relationship and their environment is unhealthy. It's important that you make sure you don't see this as what is "normal" in a relationship either. Your parents are not communicating with each other, instead your mother just consistently yells at your father. In all honesty, this has been unhealthy for you in that you honestly don't know what a "healthy" relationship looks like, but instead constantly witnessed an unhealthy one instead.

I am thinking about a note for the refrigerator, "Thanks Mom and Dad, I am getting ready to go out in the world not even knowing what a HEALTHY relationship even looks like. I don't want to be the screamer in a relationship, I also don't want to be the one who gets constantly picked on and screamed at either. As a child it's a terrible envionment to grow up in".
Well I think my problem is I just canít imagine my parents were once in love with each other. From what I can remember, I never saw them hug each other, kiss each other, and donít even sleep in the same room like my whole life. And therefore, I always wonder if thereís really true love between two different people.
I never been in a relationship before, and i donít blame it on them bc it might be my problem. Well I guess I have a lot to learn😝
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Old 02-08-2019, 01:40 AM #32
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

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Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
Just beware.....using passive aggressive techniques of communicating is no more healthy than yelling. It is just a different form of unhealthy communication.
Yeah I know. Thanks a lot, really.🙏🏻🙏🏻
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Old 02-08-2019, 03:09 AM #33
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by hEALerCOol View Post
Well I think my problem is I just canít imagine my parents were once in love with each other. From what I can remember, I never saw them hug each other, kiss each other, and donít even sleep in the same room like my whole life. And therefore, I always wonder if thereís really true love between two different people.
I never been in a relationship before, and i donít blame it on them bc it might be my problem. Well I guess I have a lot to learn😝
I went my growing up life not knowing what love felt like. Then I got married & still didn't know what love felt like. I was sure it was my problem but always wondered inside if what I felt was ALL there was to feelings in a relationship.

I left my marriage after 33 years & took my special dog with me (& brought 6 more after 6 months) It wasn't until I was away from the dysfunction & really connected with my dog that I started grasping what love felt like. From there, I felt like I could connect to people. I love the friends that I have made here. I am not in any romantic relationship because I wasn't divorced until last year due to financial issues) & I really needed to heal & to find out whether the not feeling emotional connections with others was me or those I had lived with all my life.

It was quite an enlightening experience to find out the issues weren't mine afterall but the people I lived around. Don't sell yourself short at your young age. You still have time to learn what love feels like...it took me 54 years to finally get there. You can get there too
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My parent fight a lot.....



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Old 02-08-2019, 10:36 PM #34
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Default Re: My parent fight a lot.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
I went my growing up life not knowing what love felt like. Then I got married & still didn't know what love felt like. I was sure it was my problem but always wondered inside if what I felt was ALL there was to feelings in a relationship.

I left my marriage after 33 years & took my special dog with me (& brought 6 more after 6 months) It wasn't until I was away from the dysfunction & really connected with my dog that I started grasping what love felt like. From there, I felt like I could connect to people. I love the friends that I have made here. I am not in any romantic relationship because I wasn't divorced until last year due to financial issues) & I really needed to heal & to find out whether the not feeling emotional connections with others was me or those I had lived with all my life.

It was quite an enlightening experience to find out the issues weren't mine afterall but the people I lived around. Don't sell yourself short at your young age. You still have time to learn what love feels like...it took me 54 years to finally get there. You can get there too
Yeah you are right😁 thanks a lot
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