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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: kvn
Posts: 13
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#21
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As for my dad, he is a chemist. My dad usually won’t yell back when my mom yell at him, bc he know it will only make it worse. And I think part of the reason he just takes all of the yelling without fighting back is because of me.I think he just doesn’t want to scare me I guess. |
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Open Eyes
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#22
If you are in school then you can ask to talk to the guidance counselor. It's an option you can think about.
Also, even if you don't have Autism spectrum challenges, what you are experiencing is still toxic. Was your mother always like this? |
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hEALerCOol
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#23
Good to know....thanks for correcting our misunderstanding too. I looked at your profile one time I it was there & checked again & it wasn't listed.....so good to know that was incorrect
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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hEALerCOol
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#24
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__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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hEALerCOol
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: kvn
Posts: 13
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#25
[QUOTE=Open Eyes;6428197]
Also, even if you don't have Autism spectrum challenges, what you are experiencing is still toxic. Was your mother always like this? I think she has been like this for a very long time. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#26
Do you have a good relationship with your mom & dad?
Maybe when you are totally alone with each of them totally individually you could just ask each one separately "what makes you & mom(dad) fight so much? At least you would get each of their separate opinions that they are willing to tell you. It also may open up some discussion. At 17.....you are no longer just a child & quite capable of having an adult quality discussion with them. Lol....I remember wanting to move out of my parents house when I was 13. Looking back I must have realized the stress they were causing me even then. I graduated high school at 17. Are you going to college? Can you see if you can go away to school & live at the university? __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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hEALerCOol
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: kvn
Posts: 13
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#27
Quote:
I think my relationship with them is quite good, except when my mom is not in her mood she would sometimes yell at me too. I usually yell back ( and louder ) because as I mentioned earlier I would be very angry if she is being unreasonable again. Well I guess the best way to prevent a yelling turn into a much bigger fight is simply acting like my dad. I guess I still have a lot to learn🧐 And yes I am definitely going to move out to college. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#28
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Anger is a personal feeling & I would definitely stay away from questioning about that. Glad you are moving out for college. I didn't have that option & living at home & going to college was a challenge. Even when I worked I couldn't afford to move out & get my degree also & my parents had no money for my college & my dad really didn't want me to go. So I blew them off & went anyway but was stuck living at home & it was in a very small house. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#29
Getting into yelling matches with your mom is only using her way of unhealthy communicating and that's not something you should be engaging in as you may end up practicing that yourself in your own relationships which as you can see when it comes to your parents it's a terrible relationship and their environment is unhealthy. It's important that you make sure you don't see this as what is "normal" in a relationship either. Your parents are not communicating with each other, instead your mother just consistently yells at your father. In all honesty, this has been unhealthy for you in that you honestly don't know what a "healthy" relationship looks like, but instead constantly witnessed an unhealthy one instead.
I am thinking about a note for the refrigerator, "Thanks Mom and Dad, I am getting ready to go out in the world not even knowing what a HEALTHY relationship even looks like. I don't want to be the screamer in a relationship, I also don't want to be the one who gets constantly picked on and screamed at either. As a child it's a terrible envionment to grow up in". |
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hEALerCOol
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#30
Just beware.....using passive aggressive techniques of communicating is no more healthy than yelling. It is just a different form of unhealthy communication.
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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hEALerCOol
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: kvn
Posts: 13
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#31
Quote:
I never been in a relationship before, and i don’t blame it on them bc it might be my problem. Well I guess I have a lot to learn😝 |
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Open Eyes
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2019
Location: kvn
Posts: 13
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#32
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#33
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I left my marriage after 33 years & took my special dog with me (& brought 6 more after 6 months) It wasn't until I was away from the dysfunction & really connected with my dog that I started grasping what love felt like. From there, I felt like I could connect to people. I love the friends that I have made here. I am not in any romantic relationship because I wasn't divorced until last year due to financial issues) & I really needed to heal & to find out whether the not feeling emotional connections with others was me or those I had lived with all my life. It was quite an enlightening experience to find out the issues weren't mine afterall but the people I lived around. Don't sell yourself short at your young age. You still have time to learn what love feels like...it took me 54 years to finally get there. You can get there too __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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hEALerCOol
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Junior Member
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Location: kvn
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#34
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eskielover
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