[Rive1976]

I have recently been diagnosed with something but am looking for unbiased opionions so I wont be sharing that. On a daily basis I have random thoughts. These are NOT auditory hallucinations. I call it chatter. Here is some of the chatter I have had in one day.

1) I dont want to be touched
2) We were molested like 5 times
3) I want to die
4) I want to be touched
5) I dont want to be stabbed in the stomach ( out of the blue, no trigger)
6) I wonder how so and so is doing ( and I could have cared less)

What could this be?

[Open Eyes]

I can't give you a diagnosis if that is what you are looking for Dnester. It does sound like you have deep trust issues due to your history of being molested. It's understandable that you don't want to experience certain kinds of physical contact, yet at the same time want to experience "safe" physical comforting like a caring protective mother would provide that in no way invades her child's space but instead genuinely comforts and protects her child.

The fact that you chose to say "we were molested like 5 times" shows me that you have different parts of you that developed due to your not having a chance to form your own identity and instead your inner discussion has different parts that you grew to develop in your effort to somehow self protect that very hurt invaded part of you.

Wanting to die speaks of the extreme helplessness you feel, it means you need help preferably from a therapist that specializes in "trauma therapy" so you can slowly regain your sense of self, or just develop a healthier sense of self despite experiencing the trauma you experienced.

hope that helps some ((Dnester))

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry, Dnester I agree with Open Eyes. Unfortunately we can't diagnose you here. The only way to be sure about it is to talk to your doctor about this and see how it goes from there. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

[amandalouise]

sorry Dnester we cant diagnose you. you will need to work with your treatment providers. they will refer you to a psychiatrist or psychologist if they want you retested since you have recently been diagnosed. usually it takes a year of treatment before getting retested again. reasoning behind this is its a waste of insurance money for a retest just to find out the same things.

you will need to work with your treatment providers. if you dont agree with your two therapists that you have now (your old therapist and your new one) you will need to discuss it with them.

I know its hard having mental disorders you dont agree with but the way through is working with your treatment providers.