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Grand Member
Member Since Jan 2017
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 775
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#41
Fuzzy......c'mon. You don't suck (other thread) and you're not awful.
__________________ I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world. |
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Fuzzybear
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healingme4me
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Member
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: Coahulia y Tejas
Posts: 391
6 333 hugs
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#42
Quote:
__________________ DX'd Moderate GAD and depression in April 2021. But it is only a part of me, not defining me. "If you can dream it you can do it!" ~ Walt Disney |
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Fuzzybear, sarahsweets
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sarahsweets
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 11
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#43
A wise therapist once told me that, if you are asking yourself this question, you are not a terrible person. Terrible people usually aren't introspective enough to even ask themselves questions like this one. I know this is simplistic and sounds like psychobabble, but it's helped me many times in the past.
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eskielover, Fuzzybear
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Member
Member Since Jun 2017
Location: California, USA
Posts: 183
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#44
Generally speaking, people who care enough about whether they are bad people or not to the point of asking others generally are not bad people. At worst, you may have made a mistake in the past (not that I've seen, mind) but this shows that you're a type of person who is willing to make amends and work on flaws. That's pretty much the opposite of a bad person.
__________________ Please don't hug me. |
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sarahsweets
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Fuzzybear, sarahsweets
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Member
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 210
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#45
Yes. You are an awe ful person.
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Fuzzybear, saidso
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sarahsweets
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677
(SuperPoster!)
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#46
Can you provide an example of what you call direct and blunt?
In my experiences, I have found that most people are mentally fragile. The last thing I want to do is add to that. I work to figure out how to word what I want to say so they are receptive of what I am saying. Not that I expect them to follow it, but maybe, they will think about what I have said. Some people I have known over the years who were just rude and uncaring, also had no respect for who they were talking to. They did not care if they hurt someone or not. Sarah, I am not saying you do this. I am expressing my in person experiences with the topic you brought up. __________________ "Love you. Take care of you. Be true to you. You are the only you, you will ever know the best. Reach for YOUR stars. You can reach them better than anyone else ever can." Landon Clary Eason Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007 Happy Sober Crafter |
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Fuzzybear
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Human
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,345
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#47
You're not an awful person. You're learning. You make mistakes. OMG, you're a gosh darn human!
I've been put on ignore by so many people and had so many people on ignore in the past. Even people I'm "friends" with (as friends as you can be on an anonymous forum). Sometimes my disorder is winning and I mistrust everyone and am offended by everyone. Sometimes you couldn't hurt me if you hit me with a brick. The only thing I wish was that we could know before we spend an hour crafting a thoughtful, heartfelt reply to someone we'd like to help...and then get the "you can't respond you're on ignore" screen. I'm more irritated that I spent all this time thinking about their situation and some supportive feedback than that they actually don't want my message. Oh well. Definitely some of the things you've posted have hit a nerve with me, but that's because of ME, not you. And when someone puts me on ignore, I know it's about them and not me. Some people just don't mesh well. What has helped me not take it personally is to remember that at times I've needed to block people too, to give myself some space. And that was about me, not them. So I know too that if someone blocks me, then it's about them, and what they need for themselves, not me and what I need. So maybe next time you see you're "ignored" try to remember that it's about what they need for themselves, and not about you, and that will help you not take it personally. However, it's also not wrong to take it personally. It hurts to have a door slammed in your face, even under the circumstances we're describing. So it's okay to say "it hurts my feelings a bit, but I understand, and I will recover." You don't have to deny that it makes you feel bad. It's sort of natural that initially you might feel hurt, then that feeling would hopefully fade. Hope this helps. There is no right or wrong. There is just what is. Seesaw __________________ What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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Fuzzybear, sarahsweets
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Fuzzybear, sarahsweets
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Magnate
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: canada
Posts: 2,007
6 736 hugs
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#48
I have a short block list. I use it for my own mental health if I notice i am starting to get triggered by another person. This is usually because i feel that the person had been intentionally or unintentionally criticizing me or if I feel like they are an argumentative person.
I think most forums nowadays have a way for users to block other, specific, users and still be able to participate in the forum. One thing I don't like on PC is you still see the thread titles of users you have blocked, even though the posts themselves were blocked. If I'm going to block someone I would prefer not even to see that their threads exist. I wish there were the option to hide threads completely. I think if a person is getting a lot of people blocking them then they might want to consider what they are doing to contribute to that, so if that is the case for the OP, it is good to be looking at it. I am also in a 12 step program and understand about making amends, but it is only if it weren't going to harm the other person. Otherwise it is just crossing boundaries again. __________________ BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
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#49
I post when I feel I have something to offer. I don't offer warm fuzzy stuff. I offer direct answers. that is my style..in life, in posts, etc. my career as well. my job trained me to find a solution to problems.
I've been blocked. the thing I don't like is that everyone gets upset and complains and then when you want to write a response to defend yourself, you can't because you are blocked., so people trash you but you can't say anything...so if someone felt upset by what I said, (and that was so not my intention), then it is ok for everyone to crap on me without me being able to comment back on it. so while the "blocking" intention is good the technical aspect of it sucks. i thinknpeople need to realize that different people post different ways. everyone takes supportive in a different manner. |
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