Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy? - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 04-05-2019, 09:32 AM #1
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Default Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy?

I know this is the new age where people think every generation is hypersensitive and absurd however with a person who has fought with depression and anxiety and even chronic physical pain for a majority of my life, when I bring it up to family( who are supposed to support you ) i get the :

“ haha what do you mean? You’re young! *sic* dont give me any of that”

“That’s nonsense”

“You don’t know what real world problems are”

“Wait until you’re my age!”

“You’re just being dramatic/making excuses”

It’s just kind of like the people who are supposed to care about you are the ones who invalidate your feelings and situations for whatever reason. Like they don’t want to hear about your issues. Quick to say “ well you need to talk to someone else” or “it’s in your head”.... like no... and if i distance myself from them they say “ you dont come around anymore!!” Well this is why.... am I wrong for that?
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Old 04-05-2019, 10:26 AM #2
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Default Re: Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy?

my mother was exactly the same

during an episode, for example, she used to say to someone " well she's never done this before, she's such a bad child"

Possible trigger:


find something useful to do was another one and " were you born human"

I remember when I was first diagnosed bipolar, my mother said oh, so you don't just act weird, now you've given it a fictional name, too

I'm so glad I don't live their now. it was unhealthy
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Old 04-06-2019, 08:56 PM #3
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Default Re: Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy?

This sounds very familiar. Neither of my parents made ANY effort to understand or "see" me.
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Old 04-07-2019, 02:01 AM #4
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Default Re: Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy?

I think sometimes families feel like they are responsible for their child's/ relative mental health and welfare that goes beyond basic care for the child/support for the adult. Its almost like acknowledging your issues somehow makes them feel blamed as if they purposefully ignored something. Even worse is when they DID purposely ignore something and they are now reckoning with that guilt. Also, some families like to think that their issues are SO much worse than yours and they are SO unique and that no one could possibly know how awful they feel. None of that is fair of course....
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Old 04-07-2019, 08:46 AM #5
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Default Re: Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
my mother was exactly the same



during an episode, for example, she used to say to someone " well she's never done this before, she's such a bad child"



Possible trigger:




find something useful to do was another one and " were you born human"



I remember when I was first diagnosed bipolar, my mother said oh, so you don't just act weird, now you've given it a fictional name, too



I'm so glad I don't live their now. it was unhealthy


That’s terrible im so sorry you had to deal with that...
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Old 04-07-2019, 08:52 AM #6
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Default Re: Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
I think sometimes families feel like they are responsible for their child's/ relative mental health and welfare that goes beyond basic care for the child/support for the adult. Its almost like acknowledging your issues somehow makes them feel blamed as if they purposefully ignored something. Even worse is when they DID purposely ignore something and they are now reckoning with that guilt. Also, some families like to think that their issues are SO much worse than yours and they are SO unique and that no one could possibly know how awful they feel. None of that is fair of course....


Very true:/... it definitely feels like they don’t want to admit to some of the things I’ve gone through or felt... my parents split up when i was 5 so from a very young age i was exposed to the verbal abuse, and witnessing it between them as well. Then at one point, maybe 9 or 10 they stopped talking to eachother completely and I became the middle man/ messenger.
“Tell your mom to pay for your school trip”
“Tell your dad to take you to band practice “
“Your mom is the reason we dont have money and cant do fun things!”
“Your dad is the reason you can participate in those activities!”
“Your grandparents have turned your mom against me!”
“Your dad didnt even want to be there when you were born!”

.... so it was like... well wtf am I supposed to believe??... so not only now was it my parents but also my grandparents it was both whole sides of my family i was like, well who can I trust?? So as an adult i guess they swept those things under the rug and remarried etc etc went on with their lives and kinda left me in the dark... and when i tried to confront them, again I’m just dramatic:/ or I’m the one who needs help or yo be medicated or whatever... it’s definitely painful
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Old 04-10-2019, 05:25 AM #7
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Default Re: Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy?

Ok let's try posting an answer again..forgive me it is early..I am responding to the wrong people...
@ragingvortex and panda--I hear you. BOTH my parents were masters at diminishing me and trivializing any "problems" I might have had.
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Old 04-24-2019, 02:34 PM #8
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Default Re: Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy?

They are Gaslighting you. (psychological manipulation)
They push you away with their hurtful judgements, they manipulate your thoughts and feelings with invalidation and they cannot see/will not accept that they are the cause of your emotional turmoil. Usually, if you point it out to them they deny it. And when you try and distance yourself they guilt trip you.
You are not crazy and you are not wrong. It's important that you are able to acknowledge this because even thought you cannot change them, you can take the steps to better yourself. Bettering yourself will end the toxic destructive cycle so you don't pass it on to your future children, if you choose to have any. It's important for people to realize the way they talk to and the way they treat their children affects who they become as an adult.
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Old 04-24-2019, 08:06 PM #9
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Default Re: Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy?

Oh yes I've had an issue with the family. From not believing me to making fun f me when the heavy anti psychotics were making me practically drool. They said I was nothing but a guinea pig for the psychiatrists to "experiment on". Once I got older, I was told I couldn't babysit for my niece cause, well," God knows what a mental patient could do". My father would ask me when I was going on my next vacation (admission to the hospital) Now that both parents are dead, I'm excluded by the remaining ones. I've always been the black sheep.
And they had the nerve to wonder what reason I had to be depressed.
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Old 04-24-2019, 08:11 PM #10
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Default Re: Anyone have an issue with family talking to you like you’re crazy?

It's not like I caused them problems. I excelled at school, and was a "good kid". But they couldn't see any good in me. All they saw was my diagnosis.
Sorry I'm on a rant.
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