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Old 04-24-2019, 09:58 AM #1
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Default When people you donít know ask you to watch their belongings

I never really like it when someone asks me to watch their stuff for them if I donít know them. And I never ask strangers to watch my belongings. I feel like it puts a burden on someone who could be busy doing something or about to leave. Another issue is that it could give them the opportunity to steal something if they wanted to. Does anyone else feel uncomfortable asking strangers to watch your stuff or having strangers ask you to watch theirs? I feel like people should just keep their belongings with them at all times in public.

I believe asking people to watch your belongings puts a burden on them and makes them feel obligated to stay with your stuff until you return, especially if they were about to leave or just simply too busy doing something else. Do you believe this puts an unnecessary burden on others? I feel like it does. And if you ask the wrong person, that is their golden opportunity to take something and leave before you return. I just canít trust anyone that easily. I canít even trust some people I do know. Too much of a risk and makes people feel obligated to do something they may not want to do.
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Old 04-26-2019, 02:52 AM #2
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Default Re: When people you donít know ask you to watch their belongings

If the person they asked happens to be too inassertive to decline. That's not necessarily on the person that asked for a favor. I don't think it's on anyone. It's unfortunate that an otherwise mundane thing for most is anxiety inducing for another. But there's so many potential variables to be taken into account with each behavior and action you take, especially spur of the moment ones such as this, that sometimes it's simply inefficient and probably impossible for most to deliberate on all the variables and decide which one is the most considerate action.

As for feeling obligated to stay and burden someone. Well, you're not. If for some reason for which there are many, you don't want to look after someones belongings. That is your right, im sure most would understand, and you could argue that declining might make the asker not want to insist further. Others would just move along to the next person without second thought.

So conclusion, people can't control how they make others feel from a otherwise harmless intent action. That goes for both the asker and the decliner.
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Old 04-26-2019, 04:34 AM #3
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Default Re: When people you donít know ask you to watch their belongings

I think thereís a risk someone knows they take when they ask a stranger to watch something of theirs, and they are willing to take that risk.

The only time to never agree to watch something for a stranger, is when it is a suspicious package, especially in an airport.
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Old 04-26-2019, 09:18 AM #4
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Default Re: When people you donít know ask you to watch their belongings

It really depends. You know when you are waiting awhile for something and you may share a smile or look or small talk about the wait? And then that person has to go to the bathroom and asks you to watch their stuff? I would do that -both asking and watching. My mom was stuck in the airport for 27 hours with not hotels and cars due to a bad storm. She made friends with another woman and they watched each other's backs and stuff and spots on the floor. I had a mom ask me to keep her baby in the stroller near me while she ran up to a counter in motor vehicles to ask a question. I tend to be the nice one who says yes- I dont mind and they must not either. I havent really had to ask--maybe once but I would if I thought the person seemed willing and we had kind of developed a rapport.
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Old 04-26-2019, 11:56 AM #5
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Default Re: When people you donít know ask you to watch their belongings

Unbelievably I've been asked more than once to watch someone's child. Isn't that an eyebrow-raising thing, eh?

I would never ask for someone to watch an object of mine; but, here's one for you, I have asked people to watch my place in line.
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Old 04-26-2019, 01:49 PM #6
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Default Re: When people you donít know ask you to watch their belongings

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iloivar View Post
If the person they asked happens to be too inassertive to decline. That's not necessarily on the person that asked for a favor. I don't think it's on anyone. It's unfortunate that an otherwise mundane thing for most is anxiety inducing for another. But there's so many potential variables to be taken into account with each behavior and action you take, especially spur of the moment ones such as this, that sometimes it's simply inefficient and probably impossible for most to deliberate on all the variables and decide which one is the most considerate action.

As for feeling obligated to stay and burden someone. Well, you're not. If for some reason for which there are many, you don't want to look after someones belongings. That is your right, im sure most would understand, and you could argue that declining might make the asker not want to insist further. Others would just move along to the next person without second thought.

So conclusion, people can't control how they make others feel from a otherwise harmless intent action. That goes for both the asker and the decliner.
Yeah I see what you mean.
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Old 04-26-2019, 01:50 PM #7
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Default Re: When people you donít know ask you to watch their belongings

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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
I think thereís a risk someone knows they take when they ask a stranger to watch something of theirs, and they are willing to take that risk.

The only time to never agree to watch something for a stranger, is when it is a suspicious package, especially in an airport.
Yeah some people are more willing than others. And I agree, there are some cases where you should never accept.
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Old 04-26-2019, 01:52 PM #8
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Default Re: When people you donít know ask you to watch their belongings

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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
It really depends. You know when you are waiting awhile for something and you may share a smile or look or small talk about the wait? And then that person has to go to the bathroom and asks you to watch their stuff? I would do that -both asking and watching. My mom was stuck in the airport for 27 hours with not hotels and cars due to a bad storm. She made friends with another woman and they watched each other's backs and stuff and spots on the floor. I had a mom ask me to keep her baby in the stroller near me while she ran up to a counter in motor vehicles to ask a question. I tend to be the nice one who says yes- I dont mind and they must not either. I havent really had to ask--maybe once but I would if I thought the person seemed willing and we had kind of developed a rapport.
Yeah true. I see what you mean. I have accepted offers before but it is rare and I just feel uncomfortable at times. At least building a good rapport helps.
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Old 04-26-2019, 01:54 PM #9
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Default Re: When people you donít know ask you to watch their belongings

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Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66 View Post
Unbelievably I've been asked more than once to watch someone's child. Isn't that an eyebrow-raising thing, eh?

I would never ask for someone to watch an object of mine; but, here's one for you, I have asked people to watch my place in line.
Yeah asking someone to watch their child is very risky. And yeah I never ask people to watch my things unless I know them.
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Old 04-26-2019, 07:18 PM #10
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Default Re: When people you donít know ask you to watch their belongings

Interesting thread Rdgrad15. I am comfortable going out for evenings or even vacation alone so there have been times when I wanted to save my seat or make it clear to the server that I hadn't left and didn't want the table cleared while I left to go to the restroom. On a few occasions, I have asked a kind looking person to watch my belongings for me for a few moments. Usually I'll say, "If you are going to be here for a few more minutes, would you mind?" They have always said yes and there was no problem. If they declined, I also would not see a problem since I am asking a favor, not giving an order. People have also asked me to watch their things and I typically don't have a problem with it. There was only one time it bothered me...when the guy returned it became clear that he was high on something and began trying to flirt with me which was unwanted. Though that is not so much an issue of watching belongings as respecting a woman's boundaries.

That said, it depends on how I'm feeling and where I am. I would NEVER ask someone to watch my things at an airport or any area where security is a concern. And I think if someone asked me at an airport, I would politely decline because the risk is too high in that setting.

Nobody has ever asked me to watch their child though I am sure there are some random and rare situations that could arise whereby someone might need some help. Just recently I waited with a woman who had called the police because she witnessed someone else who needed help. The woman's child sat quietly in her vehicle and that was fine but you just never know what kind of unexpected scenario could arise. if the situation went south, I would call the police immediately. As I move through life, I try to be cautiously decent toward strangers and not immediately assume the worst of them. There has been more than one stranger who did me a kindness when I needed it over the years. I believe that most people have good intentions.

If anyone is interested, there's a fascinating book about 'Smart Trust.' That is something different from blind trust and gullibility. The author even gives a beautiful example of offering small loans to impoverished women who ordinarily would not receive credit from anyone. It worked out really well for both parties. I have a couple of friends who are so cynical that they didn't believe me when I told them about it. Check out the book if you like Stephen Covey.
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