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cptsdwhoa
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cptsdwhoa One day, one step at a time
 
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Heart May 13, 2019 at 03:45 PM
  #1


It's been awhile ya'll. I hope everyone is well. I have a question for you and all responses are welcome.

How did you come to terms with and accept that you struggle with mental illness? I've spent the last 21 years in denial (been struggling since I was nine years old and I'm thirty now). I would like to try a new thing now and accept this. I want to learn to work with what I've got and just do the best I can.

Was there a moment where you just got it and accepted it? Do you still struggle with coming to terms and acceptance? Is it just a gradual process?

This is new for me. I don't know if my life is necessarily supposed to change in any way. I would just like to stop fighting the obvious haha and sit with this. It's nice to just sit with the thought of acceptance. What now?
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Default May 13, 2019 at 03:56 PM
  #2
Excellent post cptsdwhoa!!!

Here are a couple of ideas which may help you....

*Are there "normal" humans and "mentally ill" humans or do all humans reside along a continuum of various levels of mental wellness which fluctuate based on different life events and challenges?

*have you ever met a "normal" person? What would that mean, look like, sound like?

*have you ever met a person who has not struggled with anxiety or depression at some point (whether acknowledged or not)?

*are you a "mentally ill" person or a person with strengths and needs?

"I would just like to stop fighting the obvious haha and sit with this. It's nice to just sit with the thought of acceptance. What now?"

Your thoughts above which I quoted are insightful, wise, and beautiful. Truly. You are on the right track....probably farther along toward the path to peace than you even realize!

I have lived with depression my whole life. Was not diagnosed until age 15. PTSD was diagnosed in my 20s but the docs are quite sure it was present since childhood. I was in and out of acceptance when I was younger. I am not far from 40 now. I accept myself as I am...a work-in-progress until my last day on earth. Not any better or lesser than all the other humans....equally deserving of peace, love, and light.

Your post has truly inspired me. Thank you very much for that!

I wish you acceptance, resilience, and adventures!

Last edited by Anonymous44076; May 13, 2019 at 04:10 PM..
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Default May 13, 2019 at 05:42 PM
  #3
Thank you for your kindness and for giving me much to ponder!

I realized, as I read the questions you suggested I ask myself, that I'm still so ashamed of myself. I'm still viewing myself as a fatally flawed being. I need to work on that I think. I believe that would help me to see, and I like how you phrased it, that I'm not a "mentally ill person" but just a person with strengths and needs. If I can overcome that I would be a long way towards acceptance.

I want to be able to stand up without shame and say, "Hi, my name is cptsdwhoa, and I am a work-in-progress."

Thank you SilverTrees. Your reply is so appreciated.
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Default May 13, 2019 at 06:02 PM
  #4
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Originally Posted by cptsdwhoa View Post
Thank you for your kindness and for giving me much to ponder!

I realized, as I read the questions you suggested I ask myself, that I'm still so ashamed of myself. I'm still viewing myself as a fatally flawed being. I need to work on that I think. I believe that would help me to see, and I like how you phrased it, that I'm not a "mentally ill person" but just a person with strengths and needs. If I can overcome that I would be a long way towards acceptance.

I want to be able to stand up without shame and say, "Hi, my name is cptsdwhoa, and I am a work-in-progress."

Thank you SilverTrees. Your reply is so appreciated.
I honestly felt fatally flawed for a long time, cptsdwhoa. The medical model told me at a very young age that I had a "chemical imbalance" that was "likely genetic" but the meds never helped me and often made me physically ill. So I realized I had to stop trying meds and then for years I felt broken and hopeless. My identity used to be: "I am a broken person with an incurable chronic mental illness." Now I'm just me. I have problems which include mental health concerns and I also have a lot of love and light to share.

You are not alone in your feelings. We have to be very, very careful about how we diagnose and label people....lasting effects can be really problematic. That said, if you can learn to think one way, you can also learn to think another way. How do you feel about mindfulness, meditation, daily gratitude, and holistic care? Those have helped me a great deal. I stepped out of the medical model (symptoms needing to be "fixed") and started learning about positive psychology and Traditional Chinese Medicine and natural methods for creating some joy each day. I highly recommend those methods for you. I truly believe that you can learn to think and feel differently about yourself.

Last edited by Anonymous44076; May 13, 2019 at 06:15 PM..
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Default May 13, 2019 at 06:53 PM
  #5
Same. The medical model told me that it was a chemical imbalance. I will need to be on medication for the rest of my life. At one of my hospital stays, while I'm sure she meant well, the doctor told me that I just have to learn to fight for life and accept that life would include being in the hospital. I would have an illness that would need to be medicated for the rest of my life...but hey...plenty of people go on to live productive lives. And I'm just like...really? My life seems utterly pointless. I can't even work!!!

Thank you for the suggestions. I have a great book by Dr. Caroline Leaf with which I want to start working. Conversations like this also really give me hope and help me to shift my thinking. I'm a work in progress, but I'm learning!
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Default May 13, 2019 at 06:57 PM
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Same. The medical model told me that it was a chemical imbalance. I will need to be on medication for the rest of my life. At one of my hospital stays, while I'm sure she meant well, the doctor told me that I just have to learn to fight for life and accept that life would include being in the hospital. I would have an illness that would need to be medicated for the rest of my life...but hey...plenty of people go on to live productive lives. And I'm just like...really? My life seems utterly pointless. I can't even work!!!

Thank you for the suggestions. I have a great book by Dr. Caroline Leaf with which I want to start working. Conversations like this also really give me hope and help me to shift my thinking. I'm a work in progress, but I'm learning!
May I ask the title of your book? Maybe I'd like to read it.

(Your hospital doc was a bit clueless and lacking empathy if you ask me)
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Default May 13, 2019 at 07:03 PM
  #7
I started medication at 14, and it helped me so much that I can't ever be off it. That doesn't really bother me though. I think of it as a physical illness. If I had high blood pressure and took meds for that, would I feel weak and ashamed? No. To me, this isn't any different.
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Default May 13, 2019 at 07:06 PM
  #8
Great perspectives from both of you folks. No one-size-fits-all with how to live our lives, right?
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Default May 13, 2019 at 07:43 PM
  #9
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Originally Posted by SilverTrees View Post
May I ask the title of your book? Maybe I'd like to read it.

(Your hospital doc was a bit clueless and lacking empathy if you ask me)
It's called Switch on Your Brain. There are a lot of Christian themes in the book and she quotes Scripture. I thought I would just let you know in case that makes you uncomfortable.

I think she really did mean well, but she really missed the mark lol. That so did not help me to feel better.
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Default May 13, 2019 at 07:45 PM
  #10
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Originally Posted by downandlonely View Post
I started medication at 14, and it helped me so much that I can't ever be off it. That doesn't really bother me though. I think of it as a physical illness. If I had high blood pressure and took meds for that, would I feel weak and ashamed? No. To me, this isn't any different.
I'm trying to shift my thinking and see it just like that!
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