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amandalouise
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: 8CS / NYS / USA
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Default Jul 28, 2019 at 08:30 AM
  #41
late to this thread..

my own views on this is that tough love is just another word for setting boundaries and sticking to them. I use tough love with my children. we don't beat on them, spank them nor set unrealistic goals or expectations. two are 11 years old. they are expected to have chores to do, they keep their own rooms picked up and organized in a way that is sanitary and not a hazard, windows and doors are not blocked. They understand that if they have friends over and take food into their bedrooms the expectation is to bring back down to the kitchen any left overs and dishes other wise the tough love kicks in of no more food and beverages in the bedrooms for a month and their allowance helps pay for the exterminators. this may seem unreasonable to others but when you have had to deal with exterminators time and time again for ants and other insects, there comes a time for tough love and teaching the children to have self worth, self respect and responsibility. we feel the 11 years olds are quite capable of having friends over and being responsible for their own actions and natural consequences that come with that. we parent the younger two also with tough love (expectations, boundaries, rules and natural consequences)

tough love does not mean a person is abusive. it means a person has a set of expectations for their self and others, they set their boundaries and rules and stick by them,

look at psych central... it has expectations, it has rules and boundaries and it has consequences for breaking those rules and boundaries. most times discussions can happen when these are broken but over all there is that tough love factor that must be stuck to in order for this site to be safe and what its meant to be for.

if psych central did not factor in tough love this site would be full of riff raff spammers, members breaking the rules every which way, flaming and attacking each other, the forum boards would not be organized in a way that ensures thousands upon thousands of members and visitors can find what they are looking for.

tough love is everywhere. some people don't like rules and boundaries and others do. but tough love is right there in every part of life when ever anyone sets their limits/ boundaries and rules they are practicing and using tough love.

I bet anyone who posted in this thread can find areas of their own lives where they have used and practiced tough love, from having rules for their personal items, how they live, who they have and don't have in their lives, what and how they choose to make their meals, rules for their self and others, expectations....

my opinion is tough love is everywhere and everyone does it. just a fancy title for setting boundaries and expectations in ones lives.
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