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Aquamarin
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Default May 26, 2019 at 01:51 AM
  #1
Sorry in advance for the really long text, it just felt pretty good to write it all down.

I’m 23 years old and in my second last semester. University was pretty chill most of the time - until it wasn’t anymore. That was about November last year. Additionally to Uni getting stressful and intense, I also broke up with my boyfriend of two years after weeks of not getting along anymore and falling for my best friend. Who was also having feelings for me but was still in a relationship for some weeks until he broke that up. That’s a long story and I do feel a bit guilty for that even though I didn’t pressure him into anything. Only redeeming thing about that is, that they didn’t have a healthy and happy relationship and he was thinking about breaking up even before “we” happened.
Anyway, I was pretty stressed but concentrating on enjoying our time together because he left for an semester abroad in January. And when he did, it felt like everything I put out of my mind came back all at once. All that stress and self-doubt and well, everything.
I’ve always been a perfectionist and putting much pressure on myself. I wasn’t like THE over-achiever but my grades were alright and I was pretty depressed when one wasn’t. Which started at a “C” for me. So, self-doubt was always accompanying me. And after some trashy friendships, I was always questioning my worth. “Do they really want to be friends with me? Why would they? When they notice how I really am (nothing special at all) won’t they just leave me anyway?”
Sooo, this came back as well. And turns out the “leave me” part wasn’t that far off. You see, I never really had many friends. I got along with almost everybody just fine, but good friends? Most of the time just one or two. And every single damn one of them left. For various reasons. I wasn’t cool enough anymore because I don’t like drinking. I wasn’t important enough to keep in touch with after moving. I wasn’t reciprocating his feelings. And, oh boy, doesn’t that just feel great? Even just writing this hurts because I just feel like one big failure.
This time, one of my friends didn’t like the fact that I got together with my boyfriend. And he never got tired of bad talking it. “Are you sure getting together before he leaves for 6 months is a good idea? What if he can’t stay faithful? I’m just worried about you.” I asked to just stop talking about this topic because I was already feeling bad and couldn’t cope with more negativity. But he took offense and told me I’m a bad friend because I didn’t want to listen to his opinion and am just emotionally dependant on my boyfriend anyway. So, since November the number of my friends dropped from 5 (including my ex-boyfriend) to 2 (including my boyfriend). Sounds pathetic, doesn’t it?
I got in contact with a former friend again (the one who moved) and while he’s still really nice and we get along super, he also just writes when his wife is gone (at least most of the time). But it helped and I got better for some time. But with the stressful time of the next semester starting again the self-doubt is back full force. I’m really struggling right now and am not sure what to do and what might help.


So if anyone is also having problems with self doubt and low self-esteem of idk maybe knows some coping strategies or has any tips or similar experiences..?
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Smile Jun 01, 2019 at 07:39 PM
  #2
I'm sorry I don't think there is much I can offer personally with regard to this. However here are links to 7 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that offer tips for dealing with self-doubt & low self-esteem:

7 Ways to Navigate Self-Doubt

3 Ways Highly Successful People Handle Self-Doubt

When Self-Doubt Strikes

6 Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem

8 Suggestions for Strengthening Self-Esteem When You Have Depression

https://psychcentral.com/lib/12-simp...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-re...-esteem/?all=1


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Aquamarin
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Default Jun 04, 2019 at 10:49 AM
  #3
Thank you!
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