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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
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#1
Have any of you done it? Have you found a balance between being alone when you want to, even need to, and yet finding people to spend time with when the nights get long and lonely?
__________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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Anonymous49426, avlady, KD1980, MickeyCheeky
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New Member
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: El Paso
Posts: 2
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#2
That's a good question, to be honest, I find that very hard to do well at least for me, but then again I just hate people and don't want to see anyone or be around anyone period I 've tried to find people to spend time with but it just doesn't work for me, I think it irritates me more being around people.
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annoyedgrunt84, avlady, MickeyCheeky
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annoyedgrunt84, Blknblu, continuosly blue, MickeyCheeky
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#3
I don't find it difficult to be alone. I'm very happy. and I am not lonely...it gives me the time to go off and explore things on my own without having to cater my adventures to another person's wishes (atho I am not against going with someone)
there is a difference between being lonely and going off exploring alone. where I live there are national forests, state parks, etc to explore..i often go hiking with my dog and since he is a therapy dog we do numerous visits each week to schools and nursing homes. plus work. lonely is a state of mind. I never get lonely..too much time is wasted by that. |
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annoyedgrunt84, avlady, MickeyCheeky
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annoyedgrunt84, continuosly blue, MickeyCheeky
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Veteran Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 720
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#4
I definitely need my alone time, or maybe what I really need is quiet time. I often think that I just wish someone else where here, even if we didn’t say anything to each other for hours at a time.
__________________ "We can hear the night watchman click his flashlight ask himself if it's him or them that's insane"- Bob Dylan 20 mg Citalopram |
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avlady, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Junior Member
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 10
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#5
I don't know what sparks joy in you but I'll tell you what I did. Went travelling by myself for 6 weeks and spent pretty much all of that time by myself. I called it banishing myself to go spend time with me. I went to places that weren't social, hiking, things where being alone adds to the adventure rather than leaving something missing. I started to create my experience and it can be as good or as bad as I imagine it.
Then there's things I want to do like study, learn an instrument, and a language, draw, all these things, another person would just get in the way. These are things to be done alone. When you have everything you need there is nothing missing, because lonely is the sense of something missing. Maybe ask yourself what that is and create it yourself, you can do it it just takes some self discovery and its been one of my favourite lessons of life |
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avlady, MickeyCheeky
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continuosly blue, MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
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#6
I can't say I did, annoyedgrun84, but I DO believe it's possible to find that balance! Don't give up! I'm sure you'll be able to find the time to do everything. Try to make a schedule perhaps. Dedicate some days to yourself and others togetting out with friends and meeting new people. Wish you the best of luck! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, annoyedgrunt84, and to ALL the people you Love and who TRULY Love you!
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avlady
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Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 368
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#7
As an introvert, I didn't find if hard to achieve this balance. I think it gets easier if you learn to think of yourself as your own best friend.
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avlady
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continuosly blue
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#8
Nope haven't been able to do it. So if I have to choose between them I would prefer to be alone. So that is what I am.
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avlady
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continuosly blue
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Wise Elder
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Member Since Jan 2013
Location: angola ny
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#9
I am schitzophrenic to a degree and need a lot of alone time. if were up to me I would like a job that I could do alone. I am on SSI and SSD so I can't do much or I will lose my money, but I also don't really know what I would like to do either. I tried several jobs in my life, im 58 now but would like to work not with many people. Sometimes I also love being at restaurants and wish I could be a waitress again, but after a psyschical injury my body can' take it.
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continuosly blue
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Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: Portland, Oregon, USA
Posts: 33
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#10
Difficult decisions.
I prefer being alone rather than being with someone that will not communicate. I rely on feelings mostly as who to approach socially and then, it is tough to get further than a friendly weather chat. I have sworn off any type relationship that is uncomfortable and untruthful. It may take a few communication times to make the decision and prioritize any on going communications and if it is worth perusing. |
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continuosly blue
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 533
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#11
Quote:
the older you get the easier it is to find plenty of alone time. Being single helps too. But if you want that body to cuddle up with at night your going to have to risk some kind of relationship with somebody. Once you do that your alone time drops. Make yourself your best friend, like someone said already, and you’ll never be lonely. Good luck to you...... __________________ Today is the first day of the rest of my life. *Disclaimer * Anything I have posted is strictly my own personal opinion or experience , and is in no way, shape, or form meant to portray a professional assesment of any kind. CB |
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