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annoyedgrunt84
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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 08:37 AM
  #1
Have any of you done it? Have you found a balance between being alone when you want to, even need to, and yet finding people to spend time with when the nights get long and lonely?

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Default Jun 03, 2019 at 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84 View Post
Have any of you done it? Have you found a balance between being alone when you want to, even need to, and yet finding people to spend time with when the nights get long and lonely?
That's a good question, to be honest, I find that very hard to do well at least for me, but then again I just hate people and don't want to see anyone or be around anyone period I 've tried to find people to spend time with but it just doesn't work for me, I think it irritates me more being around people.
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Default Jun 05, 2019 at 10:27 PM
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I don't find it difficult to be alone. I'm very happy. and I am not lonely...it gives me the time to go off and explore things on my own without having to cater my adventures to another person's wishes (atho I am not against going with someone)

there is a difference between being lonely and going off exploring alone. where I live there are national forests, state parks, etc to explore..i often go hiking with my dog and since he is a therapy dog we do numerous visits each week to schools and nursing homes. plus work.

lonely is a state of mind. I never get lonely..too much time is wasted by that.
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annoyedgrunt84
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Default Jun 08, 2019 at 11:46 PM
  #4
I definitely need my alone time, or maybe what I really need is quiet time. I often think that I just wish someone else where here, even if we didn’t say anything to each other for hours at a time.

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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 07:04 AM
  #5
I don't know what sparks joy in you but I'll tell you what I did. Went travelling by myself for 6 weeks and spent pretty much all of that time by myself. I called it banishing myself to go spend time with me. I went to places that weren't social, hiking, things where being alone adds to the adventure rather than leaving something missing. I started to create my experience and it can be as good or as bad as I imagine it.
Then there's things I want to do like study, learn an instrument, and a language, draw, all these things, another person would just get in the way. These are things to be done alone. When you have everything you need there is nothing missing, because lonely is the sense of something missing. Maybe ask yourself what that is and create it yourself, you can do it it just takes some self discovery and its been one of my favourite lessons of life
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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 04:04 PM
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I can't say I did, annoyedgrun84, but I DO believe it's possible to find that balance! Don't give up! I'm sure you'll be able to find the time to do everything. Try to make a schedule perhaps. Dedicate some days to yourself and others togetting out with friends and meeting new people. Wish you the best of luck! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, annoyedgrunt84, and to ALL the people you Love and who TRULY Love you!
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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 04:51 PM
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As an introvert, I didn't find if hard to achieve this balance. I think it gets easier if you learn to think of yourself as your own best friend.
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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 04:52 PM
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Nope haven't been able to do it. So if I have to choose between them I would prefer to be alone. So that is what I am.
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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 05:37 PM
  #9
I am schitzophrenic to a degree and need a lot of alone time. if were up to me I would like a job that I could do alone. I am on SSI and SSD so I can't do much or I will lose my money, but I also don't really know what I would like to do either. I tried several jobs in my life, im 58 now but would like to work not with many people. Sometimes I also love being at restaurants and wish I could be a waitress again, but after a psyschical injury my body can' take it.
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Default Jul 07, 2019 at 06:44 PM
  #10
Difficult decisions.
I prefer being alone rather than being with someone that will not communicate.
I rely on feelings mostly as who to approach socially and then, it is tough to get further than a friendly weather chat.
I have sworn off any type relationship that is uncomfortable and untruthful. It may take a few communication times to make the decision and prioritize any on going communications and if it is worth perusing.
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Default Jul 19, 2019 at 07:24 AM
  #11
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Originally Posted by annoyedgrunt84 View Post
Have any of you done it? Have you found a balance between being alone when you want to, even need to, and yet finding people to spend time with when the nights get long and lonely?
I think that you go through different stages in life. Everything depends on what stage your in. There’s the physical , of course , but then there’s also the psychological. What stage are you in ? To keep it short I’ll just say this...
the older you get the easier it is to find plenty of alone time. Being single helps too. But if you want that body to cuddle up with at night your going to have to risk some kind of relationship with somebody. Once you do that your alone time drops. Make yourself your best friend, like someone said already, and you’ll never be lonely. Good luck to you......

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