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cheryl jacobs
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Default Jun 09, 2019 at 09:12 PM
  #1
What causes someone to lie compulsively
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Default Jun 09, 2019 at 09:40 PM
  #2
People with certain personality disorders are more prone to pathological lying.

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Default Jun 09, 2019 at 10:54 PM
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Likely not just one reason. Probably different reasons depending on the person. I knew one person who did it for attention. Another who did it in order to control situations via controlling people. One of my siblings did so in an effort to impress (zero self-esteem). I once had a friend who did it because she was ashamed of who she really was and the life she was living...so she created a fake life in order to avoid embarrassment or being "found out."
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Default Jun 10, 2019 at 02:07 AM
  #4
My H is a compulsive liar. I don't know if he has a personality disorder or not. I have BPD and am not a compulsive liar. I think it might have to do with pleasing others and avoiding consequences? All I know is that I can catch my H in a lie and he'll lie about lying.

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Default Jun 10, 2019 at 04:06 AM
  #5
People lie because they believe that the truth wont get them what they need or want.

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Default Jun 10, 2019 at 11:42 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel View Post
My H is a compulsive liar. I don't know if he has a personality disorder or not. I have BPD and am not a compulsive liar. I think it might have to do with pleasing others and avoiding consequences? All I know is that I can catch my H in a lie and he'll lie about lying.
My ex boyfriend would lie when the truth would serve him better!
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Default Jun 10, 2019 at 08:59 PM
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To the expert deceiver, truth and lies serve the same function: to convince you of something.
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Default Jun 11, 2019 at 11:23 AM
  #8
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Originally Posted by theoretical View Post
To the expert deceiver, truth and lies serve the same function: to convince you of something.

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Default Jun 11, 2019 at 11:48 AM
  #9
There are some people who lie even when it is harmful to their well being and when there is no clear advantage in doing so. I think of these people as habitual liars. They are lying because that is an integral part of their way of being in the world.

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Default Jun 11, 2019 at 01:10 PM
  #10
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My ex boyfriend would lie when the truth would serve him better!

Oh.....you, TOO????? Mine (from decades ago) is in jail for raping his own son (WAY after our very short relationship). There is a young man around here who reminds me very much of him ( "I stopped an attempted robbery last night with
my awesome karate skills") and I will lay odds he will wind up in the same sort of trouble.

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Default Jun 13, 2019 at 07:24 PM
  #11
Some people lie to get something out of others or get out of responsibility (used to have a coworker like that, she lied non stop), some lie because they are in denial and just can’t face the truth (many addicts do that), some lie because they feel inadequate and to make themselves look better than they really are (lie they are in relationship when they aren’t, lie they have a degree when they don’t etc etc). Ton of reasons

I know someone who lost contact pretty much with everyone including her own children who finally gave up on trying to reason with her but it wouldn’t stop her from lying. Interesting thing is that her life isn’t getting better because of her lies, it’s complete and utter mess but she keeps on lying. She does have a personality disorder. But it doesn’t mean of course that everyone with personality disorder lies.

My brother had a coworker who even when confronted with evidence and facts wouldn’t stop lying. His lies were harmless like being related to someone or being born somewhere or having an award in something and more of the same (none true). Other than that my brother says he was a great guy. Go figure
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Smile Jun 13, 2019 at 09:30 PM
  #12
Hello cheryl jacobs: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central. Here are links to 3 articles that may be of interest, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of lying... both compulsive as well as pathological:

Lying: A Case of Fiction Addiction?

Deliberately Untruthful: Normal vs. Abnormal Lying

How Self-Loathing and Self-Worshipping Lead to Lies

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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Default Jun 13, 2019 at 10:24 PM
  #13
Fear is the ultimate motivator. What ever the liar fears, whether its legit or not can cause the lying.

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Default Jun 15, 2019 at 09:01 PM
  #14
Is not owning up to your mistakes the same as lying?

I do stuff all the time but I don’t usually own up to them so I always get away with it because people never realize it’s me. For example my coworker found a phone in the bathroom at work but just left it there. Then she told my coworker and she said “why didn’t you give it to a manager?” And I’m wondering myself why she said she found a phone in the first place if she was just going to leave it in the bathroom. I just don’t own up to my mistakes unless directly asked because I feel like I just look foolish for telling on myself.

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