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Terabithia
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Default Jul 16, 2019 at 09:28 PM
  #1
My elderly mother is seeing a psychiatrist for memory problems. Her narcissism is more of an issue though, for now, than dementia. my mom has always had an issue with doctors- acting like she knows more than they do, putting them down, etc. For the last 5 months she has told me, my brother, and my sister, over and over and over, that this doctor prescribed her an opioid. She’s not paranoid. She’s actually lying. It’s very sick. This doctor has an excellent reputation and is smarter than my mother and I think this gets to her.

Is there a point in letting this doctor know what she is saying, and if so, what would be the effect on her treatment? Should I be more concerned for the doctor?
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Default Jul 17, 2019 at 10:10 PM
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Yes, I think you should tell the doctor what she is saying.
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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 06:14 AM
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It would be good to let the doctor know what is going on. It might be some indication of deterioration.
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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 09:51 AM
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and you are asking here? because?

you have 2 choices:
1. let her continue with believing what she is saying

2. contact the dr, who may want to see her. maybe she is getting an opiod, maybe not. if not he may tell her so and she may/may not opt to believe him. just because he has told her doesn't mean she will change what she is saying.

if she has dementia there probably isn't much you can do except maybe get her a medial alert bracelet with the correct medicine on it. if not, well, if she continues to say opiod meds well then just be vigilant if she needs medical care. she isn't the first patient to claim a different med,.

either way you probably aren't going to win this battle with her. sometimes you have to pick & choose. if that's what she believes then let it slide and deal with it when medical situations arise.

as for the dr..should he be worried? no. he has seen this before. it will be good for him to know what is happening so he can chart it, (if indeed she isn't getting opioids). and anytime she goes for medical treatment , especially if an emergency they will do bloodwork to verify the med levels. presumably if she has dementia a family member will be present as well. also bring any medications she takes with you.
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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 12:04 PM
  #5
My sister went ahead and called the nurse this morning and spoke with her about it. The doctor will call after her appointment.

This isn’t a memory issue. Her memory has not deteriated to that point yet. She knows he didn’t prescribe an opioid. She just wants to make it look like he doesn’t know what he is doing. She’s a narcissist.

I’m sorry if I posted the question on the wrong forum. It was confusing. I posted on caretakers, as well. It is extremely difficult, though, to make the elderly person in your life’s well-being a consistent priority when that person is narcissistic and damaging to your own well-being and psyche, which is already fragile. So, I begin to question my intentions behind situations like this. Maybe I’m just so tired of her telling this lie and the imitation she does of the doctor that makes him sound so stupid, when he’s actually pretty brilliant. So, I want her to be caught in her lie, and then my intention is not well meaning at all, ya know?
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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 03:28 PM
  #6
i cared for my abusive mother. been there done that...only she had no idea what meds she was taking (if she took them)

why fight the battle. you called the dr. let him fight the battle. that's what he gets paid $$ for. it's not worth losing your health over. and honestly if it isn't this it will be something else...you can tell her they aren't opioids', he can tell her and she probably will make up some story and not really care. it isn't worth getting sick over. my mother did the same thing, "I was abusing her, not feeding her and stealing her $$" she told anyone who would listen. finally I offered to show people bank statements & receipts if they wanted to see them..showed the dr's. they understood it was an evil woman spouting crap. even when they told her otherwise and showed her proof it made no difference, you have to pick your battles in a long ugly (in my case) war
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Default Jul 18, 2019 at 05:48 PM
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Thanks for the good advice, resurgam. I will take it.
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