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snowfy5
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Columbus
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#1
Hey guys, the past couple of days (following two weeks of straight dangerous depression) I’ve been experiencing a strange high with noticeable perceptual changes that I can only relate to be the same bizarre state of mind I felt last year while trying out antidepressants. I’m not looking for a diagnosis here just wondering if anybody here can relate to similar traits (not sure if it’s hypomania or something).
For background, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and have was forced to go on antidepressants last summer which threw me into mental state that was inexplainable to others around me. When I first took my Celexa dose, I was told not to expect any changes until weeks from then, so I was shocked and felt like I was going insane when I was experiencing effects similar to illicit drugs a couple hours later. I had a very distinct visual change that I can’t properly describe but know that it’s not in my head. The best way I can describe it is that everything looks more vivid/vibrant (colors seem more saturated). Everything looks more more real/clear if that makes sense. I remember going outside with my dog, witnessing the brighter/weird looking world around me and just laughing. I couldn’t stop bursting out laughing at everything, especially my dog. And I was filled to the brim with energy, bouncing around the house. I have other perceptual changes but the visual changes in this state is most easiest to describe without sounding like I’m going insane (my attention, hearing, how I focus on and process information or senses is distinct from normal). I have this weird sense of insanity, on the level that nobody can understand what I’m subjectively experiencing and probably think I’m going insane, but also on a second level I can’t quite understand myself (as if I’m unlocking some great secrets of my mind or something alarming, suicidal thoughts quickly chase after the insanity-thoughts). I begin to relate many strings of thoughts and ideas together, and get that tingly sensation down my head and spine (warm sensation in chest) that you get I suppose when just being excited or stimulated (solving a problem). This state of perception reminds me of a mix of experiences I’ve only had on drugs, although more extreme on the drugs. The visual changes feel like some weird mix of lsd comeup (glowing/vibrant effect) and the vividness/more realistic trait is how I’ve felt when trying cannabis. And another mix of the headspace that’s difficult to explain. -Maybe I’m just messed up from trying drugs Im sorry if this was worded confusingly (a mix of present/past tense) trying to describe the similar experiences while also padding in background info. It’s because once experiencing this effect of antidepressants I became more aware of perceptual changes. A month later of pushing through with celexa (my psychiatrist/family said I’d feel better once the drugs had time to settle down) I was locked in psychiatric hospital for a week. I tried Prozac once I broke out, but thought I would inevitably die if I continued accepting the mental state antidepressants offered me, so I stopped it. I haven’t experienced anything as extreme as what I felt trying Celexa/Prozac until a couple days ago (peaking yesterday) which scared me. It felt more like Prozac than celexa because of the copious amount of energy I gained. I just went through a 2-week dangerous period of straight depression (worst since 6 months ago). My pattern of productivity looks something like having periods of huge bursts of nonstop energy/productivity/creativity followed by periods sinking into depression/worthlessness. This is how I’ve been most of my life, which I don’t think is bad until I get to those low points. This past year was my first year of college, with the summer before being when I tried antidepressants, so maybe that stress can account for the extremity of my symptoms. I’m wondering if the experience I had on antidepressants might have been a trigger to mania, and if that’s what I’m experiencing now. Thanks for anybody that read this far, I hope the jumble of text isn’t too confusing. TL/DR: Following a period of depression I’ve broke into a mental state which feels like I’m high on illicit and prescription drugs (antidepressants). I have distinct perceptual changes (visual: everything looks more vivid/real, colors are vibrant/saturated). Overall feeling more in tune with my senses. I’m wondering if my past antidepressant experiences can relate to mania, since I just recently heard that antidepressants can induce mania in some individuals. That might explain the changes I’m feeling now. |
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Skeezyks
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Skeezyks
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#2
Hello snowfy: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. What you have been experiencing is not something I can offer any help with. Hopefully there will be other PC members who will have some insights they can share. I see this is your first post though. So... welcome to Psych Central.
One additional forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the psychiatric medications forum. Here's a link: https://psychcentralforums.com/psychiatric-medications/ I hope you find PC to be of benefit. __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Oakland
Posts: 19
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#3
I have no medical training and cannot diagnose you. That having been said, some of what you're describing definitely sounds consistent with bipolor disorder as I understand it.
It is concerning that the onset of your manic episodes has been associated with new psychiatric meds. I've been on both celexa and prozac but haven't experienced anything remotely like what you describe. I'm not bipolor though... But if you haven't already, definitely consult with whoever's prescribing these meds for you. I wonder if your dose is too high or if the drugs could be interacting with something else in your system to produce these effects? |
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Gaia2019
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Brooklyn
Posts: 1
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#4
Hi! I'm so sorry you're going through that. I have Bipolar and it sounds to me like you might too. When those with Bipolar take an antidepressant, it can sometimes spark a manic episode, even if the person has never had a manic episode yet. I've experienced the same thing with anti depressants, so I refuse to take them, and deal with my depression through therapy, exercise, sleep, healthy food, and LOOOOTS of support from my partner and family.
Mania is very much as you're describing it, everything is brighter and more focused and the ideas are popping, inspiration is flowing, you've got the secrets to the Universe in your back pocket, etc! It's fun and scary and exhilerating all at once. And very dangerous if left unchecked. It sounds like you've got a history of periods of increased energy interspersed with depressions, so I would definitely talk to your doctors about what you're experiencing before the mania gets out of hand. Hope this helps some! |
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WishfulThinker66
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Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
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#5
Hi. I am bipolar too. My first 'event' leading to hospitalization was triggered by the wrong type of antidepressant (SSRIs will do this to a bipolar person). The event was basically a breakdown and crash from a period of mania. What you describe fits the bill for mania.
See your doctor! Enquire about the type of antidepressant you are on and discuss whether you might be having a bipolar response. |
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