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Default Aug 19, 2019 at 08:50 PM
  #1
Why would someone even a family member sister in my experience..mock your mental health or you getting help with therapy?
Also why would they say my mum and sister only see negative side of me not improving. But my partner says I have improved and see the positive of it.
Last question how come my mum or sister don't want to know about my mental health or refuse to believe I experience what I'm diagnosed with?

I'm trying to understand why they are like this. Because it really hurts me.
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Default Aug 19, 2019 at 09:47 PM
  #2
Its kinda like being Cinderella, isnt it? Its just ignorant. My mother and my older brother were also against me my whole life. They really emphasized my bad points and ignored or even lied about my good points. It wasnt fair.

I would say, dont look for them to change. Do you have other relatives you can link up with? Otherwise, try to find friends to be what they call "your chosen family."
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Default Aug 20, 2019 at 01:50 AM
  #3
Sometime families just dont want to know or they talk about you behind your back. Mocking you? Tells us more about the quality of their character. Maybe they do have issues themselves and mock you rather than face their own issues. You may never understand why. You are on your own journey.
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Default Aug 20, 2019 at 05:36 AM
  #4
my mom was like this too

however: she took it one step further and refused to believe in any type of illness(even physical)

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I hate to think how she'd cope if she was the one who got ill. she's so oblivious to it. I don't get it
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Default Aug 20, 2019 at 05:37 AM
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Default Aug 21, 2019 at 04:14 AM
  #6
Family doesn't even have to be mean to be in denial. I don't know where it comes from, but when I told my mom what my physical illness is she just stated "No, you don't have that." My dad seems to believe me but forgets that it might affect me, and when I visit he makes me do things that are totally draining for me.

I know it would be hopeless to bring up a mental diagnosis. They would just brush it off, fast so they wouldn't have to think of it.

They aren't mean, they don't ridicule me. Still this. I feel it's something you have to be family to do... some kind of closeness that makes everything worse, how it happens I don't know.

The same I think goes for meanness, I know many parents who were perfectly nice to strangers but always nasty with family, for no other reason than they are family.

Distance seems to make things better. Maybe my parents treat me well just because I'n not in their life much?

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Default Aug 21, 2019 at 12:25 PM
  #7
This was always my question and for years and still now i never got a straight answer for it, as years ago after a horrific accident my family treated me bad after the accident. i was called the vegetable and was mocked for 3 years until i signed myself into the hospital, with the help of my father. Not so much did i have a choice in the matter too. My sisters and brothers all mocked me all the time, not one positive action or word. i still wonder to this day 30 years later why they did this.
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Default Aug 21, 2019 at 01:44 PM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeaFruit View Post
Why would someone even a family member sister in my experience..mock your mental health or you getting help with therapy?
Because they either do not understand or they are deliberately ignorant.

Quote:
Also why would they say my mum and sister only see negative side of me not improving. But my partner says I have improved and see the positive of it.
Whose opinion matters more to you? The one you love or the ones who share your blood?

Quote:
Last question how come my mum or sister don't want to know about my mental health or refuse to believe I experience what I'm diagnosed with?

I'm trying to understand why they are like this. Because it really hurts me.
I think a lot of parents do not want to understand mental illness because they see it as a reflection on themselves. As if they had done something different you wouldnt have issues or that they did something wrong. They make it about THEM when it should be about you. As far as siblings go many times they take their cues from parents.

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Default Aug 25, 2019 at 06:30 PM
  #9
I’m sorry your going through this. It’s hard enough to go through issues like this if you do have support but when your own family is unsupportive it compounds the difficulty many times over. Is ther a way for you get away from your family? Don’t take that as “forever” just a break for few days or even weeks.

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Default Aug 28, 2019 at 09:10 AM
  #10
Well kind-of the same.. When I was a size 4 my mom would encourage me to drink herbal tea and make soup for lunch ,when we go out for a meal I always got soup/sandwich and was afaird of ordering something incase I didnt like it or could gain weight. Now after 5yrs I told my mom that im on meds she got a shock and wanted me to give her gifts when we go out.. now when I go to see her she is really shy.And she always says that I was not ill . and that made me feel suicide and even worse.being in care -she never phones me and doesnt like talking to me-I ask her if theres anything new and she has the same old story..Walk the dogs,knitting.. So for my own sake I dont talk to her anymore..till Im ready to.

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Family mocks your mental health.

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Default Aug 28, 2019 at 11:44 AM
  #11
Fear. Fear that they might be "crazy". My extended family doesn't the same thing. They generally refer to me as "mentally unwell" or as "sick." And, yes - every single one of them has major issues and/or a mental illness that they are in denial about.


The end result has been that I have minimal contact with them. I don't like being disrespected by people who direct their fears at me.

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Default Aug 28, 2019 at 06:31 PM
  #12
Often when you reveal you have a mental health challenge, people don't really know how to respond to that and more often than not they tend to be dismissive. They are saying something when they do that about themselves more than about you. Often what they are REALLY showing is their lack of knowledge and understanding and often they can form a resentment not so much to you, but for their own discomfort about their lack of understanding and knowledge and ability to relate.
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Default Aug 28, 2019 at 11:40 PM
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeaFruit View Post
Why would someone even a family member sister in my experience..mock your mental health or you getting help with therapy?
Also why would they say my mum and sister only see negative side of me not improving. But my partner says I have improved and see the positive of it.
Last question how come my mum or sister don't want to know about my mental health or refuse to believe I experience what I'm diagnosed with?

I'm trying to understand why they are like this. Because it really hurts me.
I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. It's horrible to have your mental illness mocked or be told it's not that big a deal or that it's not a real illness or that it shouldn't/doesn't affect you. NO ONE should have to deal with this. MI is as real and as detrimental as any physical illness, and most MIs are actually related to things happening in our brains (meaning they actually are somewhat out of our control) and DO have PHYSICAL symptoms.

I don't know your family so I don't know that their ignorance is malicious or if it's just plain ignorance. Most people, if they haven't experienced an MI, don't really have a reference to understand what it's like. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be able to empathize. There are many illnesses I've never had that I'm able to empathize with others about.

It's really abusive, honestly, for family members to deny your experience OR to deny what your therapist has said is true - that you have a mental health condition. But honestly, all of us have to deal with this at some point or another, and my only advice is to keep them at arm's length and not discuss it with them. Keep your boundaries and don't let them expect you to do anything you are unable to because of your illness.

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Attention Sep 16, 2019 at 04:02 AM
  #14
it's probably fear, denial, and whatever. family sucks, period!

my parents forced me to 'try' two semesters of college, thinking I would snap out of it. in the process, made me even worse, put them more in denial, and wasted tons of money!

next, they forced me to spend a day at a hospital clinic, seeing a neurologist and getting tests and scans done - thinking it was "obtained" from an MVA I was in 3 years prior. and this was a five hour drive for me!

then, they refused to believe my psych-doctor was doing everything to help me, and forced me to get a second opinion at a different place in a different state! this one was a 10-hour drive.

needless to say, I just stopped talking to them about my mental illness. and I stopped caring too. they can mock me to everyone else and some times to my face - and I just don't "engage"!!! they just don't get it and will not change, so it's not worth my effort anymore :s

[to this day, years & years later, my dad will still make 'mocking' comments to me from time to time - which is painful to take (but I do cause it's not worth it for me to waste energy on something that will never change)]
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