advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Seafarer
Member
Seafarer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: US
Posts: 473
3 yr Member
146 hugs
given
Default Sep 12, 2019 at 11:25 AM
  #1
For example, if when you were a child you and your parents had known what was causing your anxiety, or your panic disorder, or other condition that made your life so hard? If you had been properly diagnosed, and if there had been treatments, therapies, or medications, that would have made life easier and happier for you, do you think things might have turned out differently?

I was in my 40s when I was diagnosed with MVP Syndrome Dysautonomia, which is the main physical cause of my panic disorder and anxieties. All we knew when I was a kid and young adult was that I was "smart" and also very nervous and very sensitive. I got no sympathy for it from anyone except my parents, but they couldn't walk through life with me holding my hand.

Maybe if I were in a better situation now, in retirement, I might not wonder about this stuff, but as it is, I do, and I wonder if others ever wonder about it too.
Seafarer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Buffy01, MickeyCheeky, Open Eyes
 
Thanks for this!
Buffy01, MickeyCheeky, Skeezyks

advertisement
Skeezyks
Disreputable Old Troll
 
Skeezyks's Avatar
Skeezyks has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
17.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Smile Sep 12, 2019 at 12:32 PM
  #2
In a New York minute, as we used to like to say...

__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
Skeezyks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, possum220, Seafarer
nicoleflynn
Grand Magnate
nicoleflynn has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
10 yr Member
60 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 12, 2019 at 04:45 PM
  #3
I would have wanted to not be abused by my mother,and would have liked to have known my father; would have liked to not have been molested and living in poverty....however, I used my life story (of ovrcomering and thriving) and won a scholarship; I started school at 60 and am a Sophomore at 72! Just retired and loving it. I am also a Vietnam era Veteran; the army told me that "life is what you make it." That is still true today!
nicoleflynn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, eskielover, Mendingmysoul
lizardlady
Legendary
 
lizardlady's Avatar
lizardlady has no update
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Mid World
Posts: 17,463 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
7,501 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 12, 2019 at 08:00 PM
  #4
I wouldn't wish a lot of what happened to me on anyone, BUT it all contributed to creating the person I am today. I'm happy with who i am today. I'm a pretty neat person. If i hadn't gone through those things who/what would I be?

To quote one of my favorite songs
"I could have done without the pain, but
I would have missed the dance."
lizardlady is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
possum220
Legendary
 
possum220's Avatar
possum220 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
Posts: 19,397 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
7,983 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 13, 2019 at 02:23 AM
  #5
When I was a little kid I always wished that I would wake up the next morning in another family. One that cared. I stopped wishing that long ago. But hey, if it's on the table now why not?

Or maybe I could come back as a pampered cat.
possum220 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, eskielover
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, guilloche, Seafarer
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 14, 2019 at 09:24 AM
  #6
Honestly, I would have restructured most of my life. From severe (and yes, I mean severe...ugly) childhood abuse to choices I made because I was unskilled, naive, and functionally retarded (I'm using the word "retarded" literally, to mean that my emotional abilities and functionality was stunted).

Getting married at age 18, for example, because I had to get out of my childhood home. Yet, I had no known way to support myself. So my husband (age 34 when we were married) has controlled my financial life, all of my adult life.

As a result of having married so young my marriage is difficult - and I have had several painful affairs over the past 38 years.

And so it went. I loved being a mom and managed, somehow, to raise children that have become highly functional adults. But I very rarely see them; I suspect they are ashamed of me, on some level.

As for having bipolar disorder; oddly, I'm not sure I would change that. BD has given me the ability to see, hear, and generally perceive a world that is probably far more magnificent than the normal world is. Also, I've learned so much, being bipolar.

So yes, there is a lot of my life that I would change. I think mostly, I would have respected myself so that the significant people in my life also respected me. Being "strong" is something born of necessity. I would have preferred to be successful.

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
lizardlady
Seafarer
Member
Seafarer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: US
Posts: 473
3 yr Member
146 hugs
given
Default Sep 14, 2019 at 11:17 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post
Honestly, I would have restructured most of my life. From severe (and yes, I mean severe...ugly) childhood abuse to choices I made because I was unskilled, naive, and functionally retarded (I'm using the word "retarded" literally, to mean that my emotional abilities and functionality was stunted).

Getting married at age 18, for example, because I had to get out of my childhood home. Yet, I had no known way to support myself. So my husband (age 34 when we were married) has controlled my financial life, all of my adult life.

As a result of having married so young my marriage is difficult - and I have had several painful affairs over the past 38 years.

And so it went. I loved being a mom and managed, somehow, to raise children that have become highly functional adults. But I very rarely see them; I suspect they are ashamed of me, on some level.

As for having bipolar disorder; oddly, I'm not sure I would change that. BD has given me the ability to see, hear, and generally perceive a world that is probably far more magnificent than the normal world is. Also, I've learned so much, being bipolar.

So yes, there is a lot of my life that I would change. I think mostly, I would have respected myself so that the significant people in my life also respected me. Being "strong" is something born of necessity. I would have preferred to be successful.
You sound pretty successful to me! You managed to get away from your childhood home. You've raised children to become highly functional adults. You've claimed your BD as something that's let you see, hear, and perceive a magnificent world, and you've learned from it.

Yep, I'd say you're succeeding.
Seafarer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, lizardlady
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 15, 2019 at 01:42 PM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seafarer View Post
You sound pretty successful to me! You managed to get away from your childhood home. You've raised children to become highly functional adults. You've claimed your BD as something that's let you see, hear, and perceive a magnificent world, and you've learned from it.

Yep, I'd say you're succeeding.

How tremendously kind of you, Seafarer. Your comment means a great deal to me.

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
5stacks
Member
 
5stacks's Avatar
5stacks Of regret
 
Member Since: Aug 2019
Location: Birmingham, Uk
Posts: 171
3 yr Member
60 hugs
given
Default Sep 15, 2019 at 02:18 PM
  #9
Hm can I stop myself from being born? Lol
5stacks is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
guilloche
whatsthat
Junior Member
whatsthat has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: CA
Posts: 11
3 yr Member
Default Sep 15, 2019 at 07:13 PM
  #10
Heck yes I would change a few things. I'd ask for help when I needed help.
whatsthat is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous46365
Guest
Anonymous46365 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 12:08 AM
  #11
Yes. YES. YES!!!
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Seafarer
Raindropvampire
smiling musical soul
 
Raindropvampire's Avatar
Raindropvampire tired of being tired
 
Member Since: Mar 2010
Location: Indy
Posts: 43,373 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
1,837 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 02:18 AM
  #12
I would like to see how my life would have been different or if it would have been the same if I hadn't gone through all the varied abuse while a kid/teenager. Just morbid curiosity but I''ll never know.

__________________
I think I need help 'cause I'm drowning in myself. It's sinking in, I can't pretend that I ain't been through hell. I think I need help---Papa Roach
Raindropvampire is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 08:12 AM
  #13
I wouldnt. Even my alcohol relapse made me a better person.

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42019, lizardlady
Anonymous46341
Guest
Anonymous46341 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 12:38 PM
  #14
I wouldn't change my past at this point as the person I am now, at my current age. However, if I was still a young teen and didn't know what I would go on to do/have, I'm sure I would have wanted several things to be different.

I love my husband very much. What if by changing my past I never met him? That would be sad. But of course if I never knew of him and knew what a gift a person like him could be, I wouldn't miss him. No, I wouldn't want to go back in time, even despite the hard times.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
lizardlady
eskielover
Legendary Wise Elder
 
eskielover's Avatar
eskielover has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,701 (SuperPoster!)
15 yr Member
14.5k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 16, 2019 at 11:47 PM
  #15
Wouldn't change it but sure would have loved knowing then what I know now about what I was living with. Probably wouldn't have made me tolerate my dad or my ex-husband any better but at least I would have known their behaviors were NOT NORMAL & the problems weren't mine.

But the bad choices I made in the past were all paving my life's road for the really good place I am in now, living alone on my own farm, taking care of myself & my animals. Finally the perfect life for me.....far from that past.

__________________


Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
eskielover is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
lizardlady
 
Thanks for this!
lizardlady
Buffy01
Wise Elder
 
Buffy01's Avatar
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,461 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
9,664 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 17, 2019 at 07:03 PM
  #16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seafarer View Post
For example, if when you were a child you and your parents had known what was causing your anxiety, or your panic disorder, or other condition that made your life so hard? If you had been properly diagnosed, and if there had been treatments, therapies, or medications, that would have made life easier and happier for you, do you think things might have turned out differently?

I was in my 40s when I was diagnosed with MVP Syndrome Dysautonomia, which is the main physical cause of my panic disorder and anxieties. All we knew when I was a kid and young adult was that I was "smart" and also very nervous and very sensitive. I got no sympathy for it from anyone except my parents, but they couldn't walk through life with me holding my hand.

Maybe if I were in a better situation now, in retirement, I might not wonder about this stuff, but as it is, I do, and I wonder if others ever wonder about it too.
Absolutely I would change what the my sixth grade teacher humiliated me in and left me behind while those who bully me were allowed to go on the field trip that cause me to have anxiety and depression had I know I would be harassed on YouTube that cause me to have more anxiety attack I would change it all of I could!
Buffy01 is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Seafarer
WishfulThinker66
Magnate
 
WishfulThinker66's Avatar
WishfulThinker66 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,285
5 yr Member
117 hugs
given
Default Sep 19, 2019 at 06:55 AM
  #17
I would change my mothers.
WishfulThinker66 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 23, 2019 at 10:46 PM
  #18
I would go back and not have the car crash I had. It destroyed my life.

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
QuietTulip
Anonymous42019
Magnate
 
Anonymous42019's Avatar
Anonymous42019 VOID
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 2,406
3 yr Member
3,106 hugs
given
Default Sep 24, 2019 at 05:00 AM
  #19
During my bereavement I would have desired the past to definitely reverse itself, during which my parents died, my husband died of cardiac arrest though he was a tyrant, and I was to have that dreadful accident.

In the ideal world, one would dearly have loved to change the past, but that reality will never happen. Except what did, changed the course of my life to make me happy again. More stable, too. To think...I very nearly stayed on the bottle except my dearest friend steered me away. She greatly helped my daughter. And a counsellor helped me find my direction. My life was not without challenge, there were many tears and I am happy to have toughed it out.

Except perhaps I would have liked changing mothers. She was a manipulative old bat, but never achieved her way with me.
Anonymous42019 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
TishaBuv
Legendary
TishaBuv It’s mostly them, and somewhat me.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,122 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,857 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 24, 2019 at 06:06 AM
  #20
There are some parts I’d like to change. But no I probably wouldn’t change anything because what if changing would make things worse?

__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T
TishaBuv is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:21 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.