advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Kunkun
Newly Joined
Kunkun has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: Egypt
Posts: 1
3 yr Member
Default Oct 11, 2019 at 07:28 PM
  #1
Hello everyone,

So my girlfriend has ocd. She has a lot of symptoms, she washes her hands too many times in fear of contamination that she had a skin reaction due to the fact that she washed them too many times one day. She's very afraid of germs and quite careful with hygiene that we can go out somewhere and she would not order food because she thinks the tables are not clean enough. Sometimes she would order the food and then eat and then start asking if I think that the place was clean and that she'll be alright. One time she had a friend over and that friend used her own fork to get some food from the pot on the table, my gf later ate from the pot and then was wondering if she could have something transmitted to her by the other girl's fork. She stresses a lot about the door being locked and check it several times. She's always stressed.

However she does not realize this, I don't know what to do, should I tell her that!? How do I say it? I am sorry if that's not the place to ask but I really need help.
Kunkun is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Anonymous42119
Guest
Anonymous42119 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Oct 11, 2019 at 08:34 PM
  #2
I would say that it wouldn't be your place to tell her she has OCD; really, only a trained licensed psychiatrist or psychologist can diagnose that. Maybe a LCSW and LPC could also diagnose that. As much as we would like to help our loved ones with a condition we think they have, the best approach isn't to play the diagnoser but to actually just describe their symptoms as you see it (no diagnosis, just the symptoms you observe, such as the excessive hand washing) and how it is affecting your relationship with them. Additionally, you can perhaps add that because their behaviors or symptoms are affecting the relationship you hold together, maybe therapy might help. If she's put off by individual therapy, you can always try couples therapy to show her that you are willing to work with her and to hopefully have the licensed couples therapist see what is going on and perhaps offer a diagnosis for her at that time. You can also ask her if she's ever been diagnosed with anything related to the symptoms and behaviors she is showing you. It may be that she is aware she has it, or it may be that she isn't ready to face what she has. Either way, openly communicating without labeling or diagnosing might feel less threatening for her. You know your GF best, so approach her in whatever style you guys enjoy communicating, but without the labels or diagnoses.

You can be gentle and say something like, "Hey sweetie (or whatever pet name you have for her), I noticed that you do this and say that, and I was wondering if we could discuss this together?" See what she says after that. If she sounds defensive, then tell her that you care and don't mean to be defensive, but that you'd like to see her less anxious and more happy when you two are together, and for herself as well when she is alone. You can reiterate that you're bringing this up because you care about her. See what she says. If she's open, she'll explain why. If she's closed, she may say that she doesn't want to talk about it. If she's closed, you can always say something gentle like, I can wait to talk about this at another time, when you're ready, but I am really concerned and care about you. See what she says. Be patient and wait a day or a week. If nothing is brought up from her, then you bring it up again and request to talk again. Keep trying and maybe add one more request to see a couples therapist or for her to see an individual therapist (though the individual therapist thing might come across as harsh to her, so try the couples therapy suggestion first).

You know how the flow might go, since you know your GF best. I hope these tips help. You might have better tips from others.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 11, 2019 at 10:57 PM
  #3
What Lillib said.

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42119
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 12, 2019 at 04:22 AM
  #4
I think you should leave it up to the professionals,

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42119
 
Thanks for this!
Seafarer
WishfulThinker66
Magnate
 
WishfulThinker66's Avatar
WishfulThinker66 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,285
5 yr Member
117 hugs
given
Default Oct 14, 2019 at 08:50 AM
  #5
I don't think that OCD is as potentially upsetting to hear about as something else. I mean, it is not like telling someone they have bad breath or body odour.

My son exhibits the same tendencies. He is afraid of picking up bed bugs in public spaces too (although that is a fair worry these days as they are endemic). Add to the list of symptoms too that I observe him straightening things and I don't think he even realises he does it.

So, I actually did in fact bring it up myself recently and it went a good deal more smoothly than I anticipated. I simply said to him that I have been noticing things and has it occurred to him he might be OCD? His reaction? He actually said he was aware of it but couldn't help it. This led then to further discussion where he admitted to being embarrassed and bothered by it as it has reached the point that it now affects his daily life (ie. the decision to go places). We ended the discussion with an agreement that he start first with having a discussion with his family doctor who will determine if he can treat my son or refer him up the channel to someone who can.

It all went far more easily than I had anticipated. Remember what I said above; there are far worse things you could be broaching a discussion about.
WishfulThinker66 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42119
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 15, 2019 at 04:27 AM
  #6
I think it’s tough to label someone with OCD. I don’t know if the average person is able to or should but that doesn’t mean the person does not have OCD.

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42119
 
Thanks for this!
lizardlady, Seafarer
SoSorry7735
Junior Member
SoSorry7735 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 21
3 yr Member
3 hugs
given
Default Oct 17, 2019 at 04:14 PM
  #7
I relate to your girlfriends struggle.

Tell her you think she might have OCD. And then, encourage her to see a professional. OCD is a monster that you will probably not be able to help with. She needs someone trained. In the meantime, just be supportive and understanding.
SoSorry7735 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:12 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.