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Default Oct 23, 2019 at 07:40 PM
  #1
I don’t have an eating disorder. I don’t have the signs. I eat and stuff. But I am obsessed with my weight. I have a severe fear of gaining weight. I weigh myself twice a day and am really happy when the scale goes down. I obsessively count calories multiple times a day. I’ll get off medications even if they are working if I think they are causing increased hunger. I lost a lot of weight 5 years ago. My T has brought up eating disorders before. I just don’t have the food issues associated with them. Is there some form of OCD that can be related to weight loss and calorie counting but not tied to anything else? Honestly I feel like my issues are kind of gender related and based on my fear of looking too feminine.

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Default Oct 25, 2019 at 11:45 PM
  #2
Hey @Mountaindewed I did some heavy googling to find this article and its not perfect but I firmly believe that what you and many of us (especially women) experience could be an eating disorder. There are the typical ED's and also disordered eating but what happens when you are eating ok, but are extremely obsessed with weight? And extremely rigid or controlling about calories. I was briefly buliemic and always had an unhealthy relationship with food and always a little overweight. When I got married I was about 190lbs. With each pregnancy I gained and never lost. One day when I was 300lbs. I consulted a bariatric surgeon and had permanent roux n y weight loss surgery. It is for sure a tool. It kept me from overeating and made me sensitive to sweets and fatty things so I was able to retrain myself. But I take psyche meds. I was saved by being prescribed geodon but refused to take it as prescribed out of weight gain fears. I lost 127 lbs and kept it off. I put my family through hell and then became compliant. I gained 15lbs back and also have some loose skin that probably would be good if it was gone. I weigh myself once a month and the numbers flucuate by 10 lbs up or down. I know the volume of food I eat and I know damn well when those choices are bad. I just had to let the scale be nothing but a basic monitor. If I see a 40lb change and go up 3 sizes I will worry but if I hover around a size or two I keep on loving myself. I was a size 28 and now am a 12. I am satisfied with that. I know 6 women who had surgery and didnt follow the guidelines and gained it all back. I know its important for you to keep track of things but I believe it is an obsession that could harm you. Have you ever talked to an eating disorder therapist?
Is weight obsession an eating disorder.....? - Mindset Mastery Coach for Health Coaches and Female Entrepreneurs

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I don’t have an eating disorder. I don’t have the signs. I eat and stuff. But I am obsessed with my weight. I have a severe fear of gaining weight. I weigh myself twice a day and am really happy when the scale goes down. I obsessively count calories multiple times a day. I’ll get off medications even if they are working if I think they are causing increased hunger. I lost a lot of weight 5 years ago. My T has brought up eating disorders before. I just don’t have the food issues associated with them. Is there some form of OCD that can be related to weight loss and calorie counting but not tied to anything else? Honestly I feel like my issues are kind of gender related and based on my fear of looking too feminine.

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Default Oct 26, 2019 at 03:41 AM
  #3
I know sometimes I just plain don’t feel like eating or can’t get myself to eat. Like yesterday. I only had 2 not even whole pancakes and a small sirloin steak. I just wasn’t hungry though and not exactly feeling great. Not trying to restrict on purpose. I haven’t mentioned it to my therapist because I don’t know if I’m in denial or not or if I really don’t have a problem but I don’t have the money or the insurance to do a lot of groups and treatment. And I really like my current therapist. I want to lose 32 more pounds and get to 125 but I already fit into kids sizes. So perhaps I’m just in denial?

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Default Oct 29, 2019 at 09:08 AM
  #4
You know, I really, really related to what you are describing, @Mountaindewed. And I am a male. I am sort of secretly obsessed with being thin and have been for a long time. It is some kind of secret badge of honor for me. Not proud of this and have no idea why this is the case. I've always been lean or athletic. I have no scale, so never weigh myself and the number is obviously not part of this for me right now.

Other people have occasionally commented to me that they thought I could have an eating disorder. I don't know. Maybe I have 50% of one. 80%? Not sure. But I do believe there is something to this. Something is going on.

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Default Oct 29, 2019 at 02:03 PM
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Yeah for me it’s like a badge too. I also sometimes feel like I just don’t need to eat that much and that my hunger signals get broken sometimes so I don’t actually feel hunger. It’s not that I’m really really hungry and telling myself no. I am just literally not hungry for hours on end sometimes and when I do eat the smallest things can really fill me up. But for sure I am obsessed with numbers and calorie counting. I didn’t mention any of this to my therapist when I saw her on Monday so I don’t know what that means if anything. But whatever.

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Default Oct 29, 2019 at 02:12 PM
  #6
I also freak out sometimes that they gave me the wrong thing at restaurants so I’ve actually consumed more calories then I thought. So then I under eat the rest of the day and am way under on calories. I think I might have more OCD then ED. Today at Friday’s I thought they gave me the wrong ribs and I asked the waiter and he confirmed they were the right ones and I’m still freaking out about how much sauce was on them and what kind exactly.

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Default Oct 29, 2019 at 04:12 PM
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I have the absolute exact same thing as far as the not being hungry for hours or even days on end. It is so weird. It's like I don't even need food. I feel fine. I feel great. But I just don't eat.

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Default Oct 30, 2019 at 01:51 PM
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Do you think it could be a control thing?

I have felt this way when I have been less happy, with me it was feeling like I could control this at least.
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Default Oct 30, 2019 at 02:14 PM
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Yes it is for sure a control thing. At times I feel really happy with myself at the control and willpower I have. Sometimes I have way too much self control and food in my house goes to waste since I don’t eat it before it expires.

I don’t feel unhappy though.

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Default Oct 30, 2019 at 03:07 PM
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It's good you aren't feeling unhappy.

Are you aware of any situations in your life that you perhaps feel you can't control?
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Default Nov 05, 2019 at 01:22 AM
  #11
If you dont think this is an eating disorder then why would you withhold information from your therapist. An ed is all about control. Weighing yourself twice a day? Have you asked your T about that?

Men can have ed's too.
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Default Nov 05, 2019 at 01:33 AM
  #12
There is an eating disorder called orthorexia, it means perfect eating or striving to eat “perfect.” So whatever the person’s definition of “perfect” eating is they strive for this, so really this could be detrimental if the person becomes rigid and will never eat a food on their “imperfect” list of foods.
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Default Nov 05, 2019 at 07:58 AM
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Quote:
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If you dont think this is an eating disorder then why would you withhold information from your therapist. An ed is all about control. Weighing yourself twice a day? Have you asked your T about that?

Men can have ed's too.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m worried she’ll switch me to a different therapist. Or recommend programs I can’t afford.

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Default Nov 05, 2019 at 03:10 PM
  #14
I did mention it to her. And of course she thinks I’m heading down the path to an actual ED. She wants me to write down what I‘m eating during the day and then try not to weigh myself. I begged her not to tell my mom. She said “I’d like you to see a nutritionist” which I’m not sure I can afford. Then she said “this isn’t really my area” and I freaked out and said “that’s why I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want you to switch me” she claims she’s not going to switch me to someone else she’s just going to get some info from some other therapists. Whatever. She asked me what something or other was about. If I like something or other. I said I liked the feeling of being in control. She said “yeah that’s a sure sign” but I do have a control in my life. I am in complete control of things in my life. I just like the feeling I get. I did tell her that I am just legit not hungry sometimes for 20 hours at a time. But yeah I don’t know if telling her was a good idea or not. I was saying I didn’t have a problem she was telling me I did.

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Last edited by Mountaindewed; Nov 05, 2019 at 04:37 PM..
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Default Nov 05, 2019 at 04:57 PM
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I can understand you don't feel you have a problem but this kind of pattern can become problematic.

Disordered eating can lead eventually to physical problems, malnutrition.

This is why she is recommending a nutritionalist, she would be remiss in her duty of care if she didn't.
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Default Nov 05, 2019 at 07:20 PM
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I know, I know. As you and I have briefly exchanged ideas about about, I have a similar thing going on. People have hinted to me before that they think I might be anorexic. I def do have some features of it, no doubt. I am sort of obsessed with being thin and my weight. And I have had the same experience from a psychiatrist who broached this with me years ago. She sorta freaked when I told her what was really going on with my food situation. She never used the word 'hospital,' but I could tell she was thinking about it for a potentially bad moment down the road.

But my weight has never gotten that low. I look skinnier than I am because of the way I am built and because of how tall I am (6'1"). Long legs. Fairly long arms, broad shoulders. I currently weigh about 177. I think it's fine.

Not sure where you are located exactly, Mountaindewed, but you might look into whether there is a Nutrition program/school in your region. Sometimes, medical schools and other training programs offer services provided by supervised students/interns for a substantial price reduction. Also, is there a formal Eating Disorders program where you are? Your insurance might cover a full workup there. It's worth looking into if you are interested. It could put this whole thing to bed once and for all, if they evaluate you and say you don't have it. But you may not be interested in doing that, which is also fine.

In the mean time, sending you support and positive vibes. You'll get through all this.

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