advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
stahrgeyzer
Magnate
stahrgeyzer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: southern california
Posts: 2,238
5 yr Member
5,559 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 06, 2019 at 09:13 AM
  #1
Hopefully I found the perfect psychologist for me. She offers a free phone call or email to see if we're a good match. Email seems safer but I don't know what to say. I want to tell her I might be a little too crazy and that 1 - 2 times per month I go through intense suicide that leads to crazy depression but after years I've never followed through because of fear.

I would be afraid to death to tell her of all my thoughts, theories, ideas about reality, my childhood & my past, me, the voices, how much I now hate humans, etc., especially in person.
stahrgeyzer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn, Buffy01, mote.of.soul, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
Buffy01

advertisement
Blueskyx
Junior Member
 
Blueskyx's Avatar
Blueskyx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: Europe
Posts: 23
3 yr Member
Default Nov 06, 2019 at 10:50 AM
  #2
When you mention the word crazy, I do not think your behavior is crazy, I think someone identified it as crazy not understanding the survival reactions of a brain. It is normal for a person to have a lot of fear when dealing with aggressive behavior for a long time. Also suicidal thoughts are common for people who dealt with abusive/aggressive behavior.
This might show some useful insight, it explains effects of trauma and PTS(D).
What It's Like to Be a Complex Trauma Survivor of Narcissistic Abuse
Blueskyx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn
stahrgeyzer
Magnate
stahrgeyzer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: southern california
Posts: 2,238
5 yr Member
5,559 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 06, 2019 at 11:04 AM
  #3
It must be awful growing up being abused by a narcissist. I don't remember the exact def of a narcissist but according to definition shown on google search my parents most likely would not be one

I've taken online tests for narcissist and score almost zero, not being a narcissist. Tests are not always accurate but you need some traits to be something. Exp you have to have mood swings to be bipolar.

One of my teachers during childhood should put in jail. Maybe he was narcissist.
stahrgeyzer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn
Blueskyx
Junior Member
 
Blueskyx's Avatar
Blueskyx has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: Europe
Posts: 23
3 yr Member
Default Nov 06, 2019 at 11:18 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer View Post
I've taken online tests for narcissist and score almost zero, not being a narcissist. Tests are not always accurate but you need some traits to be something.
Most people just deal with trauma and PTS(D) as a result of it.
Someone doesn't have to be narcissistic to be abusive/aggressive, it's just that most narcissists are, so such things can also be useful for people with similar behavior. It can be any person you met in your life or several people.
Blueskyx is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 06, 2019 at 11:20 AM
  #5
I would say just tell her what you feel comfortable telling her and see how it goes. You're not locked into a lifetime thing here. It's not a mortgage.

As for your not liking people very much, I have to tell you that I have been struggling with how to start a thread the topic of which is basically my distaste for a large percentage of the population. But I'm afraid to share it, because I'm afraid people will think I'm a jerk. I still may do it. Anyhow, You are not alone in this and I just wanted you to know that.

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn
stahrgeyzer
Magnate
stahrgeyzer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: southern california
Posts: 2,238
5 yr Member
5,559 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 06, 2019 at 11:28 AM
  #6
Narcissist have a lot of bad traits. I was abused but those people may not have all of the traits to be a narcissist. I have no idea. They may even have bad traits that narcissist don't have. My problem was that I was very different than the other kids. I like being around adults until that criminal teacher abused me every day physically emotionally mentally. As a kid I liked day dreaming all day about flying or making a flying car like in the movie chitty chitty bang bang (lol I loved that movie!!), or about ETs & UFOs or psychics & bigfoot ..., not playing with hot wheels & hide and seek & sports.
stahrgeyzer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn
 
Thanks for this!
bpcyclist, Breaking Dawn
Breaking Dawn
Legendary
 
Breaking Dawn's Avatar
Breaking Dawn Thankful for my blessings.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
42.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 10, 2019 at 04:04 PM
  #7
Best of luck to you, Stahrgeyzer! And lots of hugs!
Breaking Dawn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
stahrgeyzer
 
Thanks for this!
stahrgeyzer
mountainstream
Magnate
 
mountainstream's Avatar
mountainstream has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,150
15 yr Member
747 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 11, 2019 at 07:38 PM
  #8
I'm wishing you good luck. I hope it goes well.
mountainstream is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
 
Thanks for this!
stahrgeyzer
stahrgeyzer
Magnate
stahrgeyzer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: southern california
Posts: 2,238
5 yr Member
5,559 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 12, 2019 at 06:41 PM
  #9
Thanks for all the support! I finally have an appointment with a therapist this Friday, so this may be the last time you hear from me if he decides I'm one banana short of a bunch.
stahrgeyzer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn
puzzclar
Elder
 
puzzclar's Avatar
puzzclar has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
10 yr Member
101 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 12, 2019 at 08:40 PM
  #10
There's a lot worse things out there than what you described. I've seen some pretty "crazy" behavior. The title of your post made me smile.

Anyway. I know it's tough to tell about the deep stuff. but in the first meeting, just stay surface level. Get to know the relationship first before jumping into it head-on. Do you know what I mean? Would you dive head first into a frozen pool? Although some do, but that's not the point. The main thing is to get started.

I hope this helps. and also realize something that I realized today. From a book, "The Miracle Equation", "You. Are. Limitless."
puzzclar is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn
 
Thanks for this!
stahrgeyzer
stahrgeyzer
Magnate
stahrgeyzer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: southern california
Posts: 2,238
5 yr Member
5,559 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 12, 2019 at 08:59 PM
  #11
Nice quote! Yes, I see what you mean. Good advice. I need to learn to take it easy & slow. My email to him was insanely lengthy. He replied only saying he has an opening at 11am friday. It's a miracle he replied.
stahrgeyzer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn
princesscookie19
Member
 
princesscookie19's Avatar
princesscookie19 Currently nOT IN THE MOOD
 
Member Since: Aug 2019
Location: Ireland
Posts: 459
3 yr Member
266 hugs
given
Trig Nov 14, 2019 at 12:04 PM
  #12
She works as a person to help ,my advice is to tell her everything I mean everything .
How you feel and what you really think of yourself(what ever makes you feel bad,)

__________________
VISIT MY WEBSITE

Afraid to tell psychologist how crazy I am

Afraid to tell psychologist how crazy I am
princesscookie19 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn
 
Thanks for this!
stahrgeyzer
stahrgeyzer
Magnate
stahrgeyzer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: southern california
Posts: 2,238
5 yr Member
5,559 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 14, 2019 at 06:22 PM
  #13
Thanks, I will, unless I'm suicidal. I'd rather call one of those 800 #s before telling her. She had me sign bunch of stuff online electronically, so she has my sisters phone # & my parents address.

She wants to do a 2 week evaluation and then go from there. Sounds like fun
stahrgeyzer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn
stahrgeyzer
Magnate
stahrgeyzer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: southern california
Posts: 2,238
5 yr Member
5,559 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 15, 2019 at 12:23 AM
  #14
I took your advice, princesscookie19 and told the psychologist everything she asked me. It feels sooo good to tell someone. It was nerve wracking. Do 1st sessions normally take longer? It was supposed to be a 50 minute session but she took it to nearly 2 hours with one question after the next! After the session she wanted to send me to a certain psychiatrist right away for the real possibility of being put on prescription meds but she explained it all and ask me how I felt about that. She said she tries her best to stay away from meds unless they can help but that under certain circumstances the right prescription meds with psychotherapy work well together. That was a shock. Didn't think for a second I'd be put on meds

It's strange how painfully fearful the session was, but yet I can't wait to see her next week!
stahrgeyzer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn, puzzclar
Breaking Dawn
Legendary
 
Breaking Dawn's Avatar
Breaking Dawn Thankful for my blessings.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
42.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 15, 2019 at 12:57 AM
  #15
Thank you for sharing all this, Stahrgeyzer. I am so proud of you, & glad for you! Please keep us posted. Lots of hugs to you!!
Breaking Dawn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
stahrgeyzer
 
Thanks for this!
stahrgeyzer
stahrgeyzer
Magnate
stahrgeyzer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: southern california
Posts: 2,238
5 yr Member
5,559 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 15, 2019 at 01:42 AM
  #16
Thank you Breaking Dawn!! Hugs back
stahrgeyzer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn
Buffy01
Wise Elder
 
Buffy01's Avatar
Buffy01 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,460 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
9,664 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 15, 2019 at 06:02 AM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer View Post
Hopefully I found the perfect psychologist for me. She offers a free phone call or email to see if we're a good match. Email seems safer but I don't know what to say. I want to tell her I might be a little too crazy and that 1 - 2 times per month I go through intense suicide that leads to crazy depression but after years I've never followed through because of fear.

I would be afraid to death to tell her of all my thoughts, theories, ideas about reality, my childhood & my past, me, the voices, how much I now hate humans, etc., especially in person.
I'm sorry that you are struggling right now. I understand how you feel. This is normal.
Buffy01 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
 
Thanks for this!
stahrgeyzer
stahrgeyzer
Magnate
stahrgeyzer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: southern california
Posts: 2,238
5 yr Member
5,559 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 16, 2019 at 09:00 PM
  #18
Is there a limit to what you should tell your psychologist without getting put into a psych ward?

Every so often I experience something that is obviously not real, but to me it is 100% real on every level. Like my aunt, who was right in front of me, saying something that there's no way she said. Or in class I clearly heard the teacher say something, I wrote it down, but after class I was talking to some students and they all looked at me strangely saying the teacher never said any such thing.

I was going to tell her but then it occurred to me that she might think I'm crazy, perhaps even fear me.
stahrgeyzer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:40 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.