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Bcrawford
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Default Nov 21, 2019 at 05:54 PM
  #1
I have a friend, despite authorities, banks and friends telling her, refuses to believe she is being scammed. Went with her to Dr., basically told, "No magic pill to fix this, besides patient appears to be perfectly cognizant, she will stop when she's had enough, ie... broke". Friend says, "I have a rite to "spend" my money however I want". Dr. agreed. I am at my wits end. HELP!
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Smile Nov 21, 2019 at 10:33 PM
  #2
Hello Bcrawford: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

Unfortunately I don't think I would know what to tell you about the situation you describe. Assuming your friend is an otherwise competent adult, I don't know what you could do to stop her from "spending" her money as she chooses. If you know who it is who is scamming your friend, I suppose you could try contacting some law enforcement or other governmental agencies where your friend lives & see if there's anything that can be done. But, honestly, I doubt there may be much that will come of it.

I'm not a mental health professional. So I would not be able to offer anything authoritative with regard to what may be going on with your friend in terms of her mental health. However here are links to 6 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of delusional disorders & how to cope with someone who has one plus a link to an article on how to talk to someone who always gets defensive. Perhaps some of the insights & suggestions in these articles can be of help in your efforts to aid your friend:

Delusional Disorder Symptoms

10 Things You Should Know About Delusions | Caregivers, Family & Friends

Delusional Disorder: 8 Ways To Communicate Without Fighting | Caregivers, Family & Friends

8 Ways To Cope With Someone Who Has Delusions | Caregivers, Family & Friends

Part 1: Getting Through To Delusional Beliefs | Caregivers, Family & Friends

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-...ets-defensive/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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Last edited by Skeezyks; Nov 21, 2019 at 10:50 PM..
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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 10:05 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bcrawford View Post
I have a friend, despite authorities, banks and friends telling her, refuses to believe she is being scammed. Went with her to Dr., basically told, "No magic pill to fix this, besides patient appears to be perfectly cognizant, she will stop when she's had enough, ie... broke". Friend says, "I have a rite to "spend" my money however I want". Dr. agreed. I am at my wits end. HELP!
unfortunately and fortunately we can not control nor expect our friends to do things say things the way we want them to, no more than they can control us.

all we can do is accept our friends for who and what they are or move on out of the friendships where we feel the friend is not being safe or what ever.

question to think about... if the situation were reversed. you were seeking treatments and such and your friends came to you and told you, you need to stop, this is a scam and so forth what would you do..

me and my friends I would tell them something like this is my body and my money and I will do what I want with them, why because my friends don't have the right to control who and what I am and what I do. here in America everyone including the mentally and handicapped have rights to live their life the way they want to, in what ever ways they want to. if we want to seek out magic non existant pills for our problems we may do so. if we as human beings and americans buy into scams and what not that's our choice.

my suggestion is that you look at your choices...

1. except your friend for how ever and who ever they are with unconditional caring and let them take care of their self

2, since this friendship seems to be bringing you great distress you may decide for yourself that you cant accept this friend unconditionally and leave the friendship behind.

Those are the basic options that comes with any kind of friendship / relationships.

in some friendships / relationships I have chosen to accept that friend unconditionally and in other friendships / relationships where their actions were impacting my own life I have left the friendships/ relationships behind because I have and had enough to deal with, with out their drama and behaviors.

Im sorry we cant tell you what to do for yourself in this situation, we each make our own choices good or bad, your friend has made their choices and now you need to make your own choices of whether you stay in the friendship and accept them as is or you move on out of the friendship. that's all any of us can do.
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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 07:50 PM
  #4
It would be easy to walk away if I wasn't involved with her private charity foundation and I wasn"t also her only close friend. i have decided to do what I am legally if not morally obligated to do to protect her and her charity. I am taking a step back on a personal level. Figured that is all I can do at this point.
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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 08:22 PM
  #5
My frustration at this point is with her physician. I feel she has given the "all good to go" to my friend. Reinforcing her behavior. The whole thing was so bizarre.
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Default Nov 22, 2019 at 08:38 PM
  #6
Can you fill this out a little more? Who does she think is scamming her? What is the scam, exactly? Do you know if anyone in her family has a mental illness? How old is she?

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Default Nov 23, 2019 at 10:18 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
Can you fill this out a little more? Who does she think is scamming her? What is the scam, exactly? Do you know if anyone in her family has a mental illness? How old is she?
according to the thread starting post the friend does ……..not...…….feel they are being scammed.

it is the original poster who feels their friend is being scammed, not the friend feeling this way.
it is the original poster who feels their friend is searching for magic pills and treatment that they shouldn't be doing.

the poster is having a problem because the friend...……..refuses...……. to stop spending money on going to doctors to find treatment.

the poster is having a problem with the fact that the friend refuses to believe that they (the friend) is being scammed.
…………………...
the bottom line is we cant control what our friends say and do. we may not agree with what our friends say and do and believe but theres nothing we can do about it other than accept the friend has different beliefs than we do and will do things that they feel is right for their self whether we agree or not.
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Default Nov 23, 2019 at 04:08 PM
  #8
She is my friend, I know she is being scammed. She doesn't believe it. It is the second "prize" scam she has fallen for. And, did you know there is a "prize fraud recovery scam"? that one is the most diabolical!
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Default Nov 26, 2019 at 05:52 AM
  #9
The thing is you cannot FORCE or even logic with some people to get them to understand REALITY when they din't want to. Sadly even actual proof usually doesn't phase people like that.

My dad had thinking like that. Luckily there weren't the scams there are today when he was alive.....but when he made his mind up to believing things were the way he knew they were, there was no rational talking to him & he would actually argue with others & make a fool out of himself (absolutely no alcohol involved).

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