Home Menu

Menu



advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Bat_Orchid90
Member
 
Bat_Orchid90's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: N/a
Posts: 151
5
Default Nov 28, 2019 at 04:44 PM
  #1
Every year I hate the thought of “not having family” at the holidays. I put those in quotes because I DO have family.. but they are toxic... narcissists... manipulators... etc. for the most part i ignore them because of how emotionally and verbally abusive they can be. I see tv and posts from friends online and theyre all enjoying themselves and all I want is that too... but do I text or call my family or show up at dinner just to feel that “completeness “ for a day?.... at what cost??.... they tend to guilt trip me.. make me feel worthless, play mind games..make me feel bad for not contacting them or seeing them... yet they have damaged me in many ways over the yrs and dont seem to care.... I’ve only heard from one family member today... many will say communication goes both ways or that I’m always welcome to stop by or call... however no one bothers to communicate with me or see me... why do I have to constantly crawl on hands and knees looking for attention from people who dont care about others... it’s like they build themselves up and make me look bad but im the one suffering.....
Bat_Orchid90 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
benzenering, Blknblu, Mendingmysoul, MickeyCheeky, mote.of.soul
 
Thanks for this!
Blknblu, MickeyCheeky

advertisement
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
 
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
4
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 29, 2019 at 10:43 AM
  #2
I have a similar situation with my 'family.' I don't worry about it anymore because the fact is, they are not my family. My family are the few friends who still care and a couple of relatives. That's it. Just because we share some genetics does not mean they have to be in my life. I don't want to see them.

I spent yesterday alone and made a lovely meal for myself. It was really fun. I actually didn't even think of those losers.

I say make your own life. Forget about people who mistreat you. Life is short. Spend your energy on those who care.

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Blknblu, MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
*Beth*, Bat_Orchid90, benzenering, Blknblu, MickeyCheeky
nicoleflynn
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
12
60 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 29, 2019 at 12:43 PM
  #3
Sometimes family are the people who love you. You don't owe your relatives anything; they choose the abuse....YOU can choose life....the one you want to have. xo
nicoleflynn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
bpcyclist
 
Thanks for this!
Bat_Orchid90
*Beth*
catches the flowers
 
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
4
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 29, 2019 at 02:06 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
...

I say make your own life. Forget about people who mistreat you. Life is short. Spend your energy on those who care.

I find this very helpful. Thank you for it.

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Bat_Orchid90
Bat_Orchid90
Member
 
Bat_Orchid90's Avatar
 
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: N/a
Posts: 151
5
Default Nov 30, 2019 at 06:04 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
I have a similar situation with my 'family.' I don't worry about it anymore because the fact is, they are not my family. My family are the few friends who still care and a couple of relatives. That's it. Just because we share some genetics does not mean they have to be in my life. I don't want to see them.


I spent yesterday alone and made a lovely meal for myself. It was really fun. I actually didn't even think of those losers.


I say make your own life. Forget about people who mistreat you. Life is short. Spend your energy on those who care.


Wonderful thank you!
Bat_Orchid90 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply
attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:03 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.