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Member
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: N/a
Posts: 151
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Nov 28, 2019 at 04:44 PM
#1
Every year I hate the thought of “not having family” at the holidays. I put those in quotes because I DO have family.. but they are toxic... narcissists... manipulators... etc. for the most part i ignore them because of how emotionally and verbally abusive they can be. I see tv and posts from friends online and theyre all enjoying themselves and all I want is that too... but do I text or call my family or show up at dinner just to feel that “completeness “ for a day?.... at what cost??.... they tend to guilt trip me.. make me feel worthless, play mind games..make me feel bad for not contacting them or seeing them... yet they have damaged me in many ways over the yrs and dont seem to care.... I’ve only heard from one family member today... many will say communication goes both ways or that I’m always welcome to stop by or call... however no one bothers to communicate with me or see me... why do I have to constantly crawl on hands and knees looking for attention from people who dont care about others... it’s like they build themselves up and make me look bad but im the one suffering.....
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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Nov 29, 2019 at 10:43 AM
#2
I have a similar situation with my 'family.' I don't worry about it anymore because the fact is, they are not my family. My family are the few friends who still care and a couple of relatives. That's it. Just because we share some genetics does not mean they have to be in my life. I don't want to see them.
I spent yesterday alone and made a lovely meal for myself. It was really fun. I actually didn't even think of those losers. I say make your own life. Forget about people who mistreat you. Life is short. Spend your energy on those who care. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
Posts: 3,111
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Nov 29, 2019 at 12:43 PM
#3
Sometimes family are the people who love you. You don't owe your relatives anything; they choose the abuse....YOU can choose life....the one you want to have. xo
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Bat_Orchid90
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Nov 29, 2019 at 02:06 PM
#4
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I find this very helpful. Thank you for it. __________________ |
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Bat_Orchid90
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Member
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: N/a
Posts: 151
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Nov 30, 2019 at 06:04 PM
#5
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Wonderful thank you! |
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