I think i’m going crazy and i honestly don’t know what to do

i’m extremely new to this site so i don’t know how it works but i need some sort of help or start to understand what’s wrong with me

yes, no joke, i feel like i’m going crazy. It’s honestly extremely hard to explain but i need help so i’ll try to sum it up
i’ve been having this feeling of something in me, my head. a sort of presence not like it’s actually talking to me so not schizophrenia but it’s like something is there, similar to the feeling of having a thought at the back of your head or a phrase on the tip of your tongue. and said presence stays. the “thing” comes and kind of takes over? it’s not the right word for it but i don’t know what to say. if i’m very angry, sad or just chilling it just comes and i feel out of control, my mind and body is fighting for rationality an example of this would be
and when i try to think back at these instances the memory feels patchy
like i don’t exactly remember it but i also do at the same time. i was a different person
it makes me feel crazy
now i’m rational i know it’s ****ed up
but when it happens i’m not like this
i feel like i’m watching it happen but i’m an outsider when i try to remember it
i cant go to therapy or doctors because my parents would probably not believe what i’m saying
any sort of help would be appreciated

Hi grape, I don't think I've experienced what you are talking about here, but it might be some sort of dissociation or something (not a doctor, just a person who has her own problems with dissociation). You say you can't go to the doctor or therapy because your parents wouldn't believe you. I get that. But could you just ask to go to the doctor for something else (achy back, stuffy nose) and then when you are in there by yourself seeing the doctor you can explain what is going on? I do think it would be helpful for you to see someone. The instance you mention in the trigger is kind of disconcerting. If you think you are going to harm yourself or someone else please call 911. No matter what your parents think, your safety and the safety of others around you is paramount. I hope you can get a bit of relief, this must be very difficult to deal with. Do you notice this happens at a certain time, like when you are stressed or anxious? Have you been taking any medications that could cause you some discomfort like this? I hope you feel better soon. Be safe. HUGS Kit

I COMPLETELY agree with @SlumberKitty! Please do get some help. Ask to see a Doctor. Tell your Parents that you're not feeling well lately - you don't need to give out any details. Besides, it is your right to ask for help if you feel like you need it. If your parents still won't take you there, can you ask for help to others? Friends you trust or other relatives, for example. Please, watever you do, seek help, as this seems REALLY serious! It is an hard step to take but it's the right thing to do. Of course, contact an Hospital if you feel like you're going to hurt yourself or others! You Safety and Other People's Safety must be the PRIORITY! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @grape, your Family, your Friends, your Relatives, your Therapists, your Doctors, your Brothers, Your Sisters, your Uncles, your Cousins, your Nephews your Pdocs, your General Doctors, your Nurses and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

I think I get what kind of crazy this is. sometimes when my mind is tired, I take a backseat but don't feel safe enough to shut down completely. I spoke to my T about a similar problem recently and they way I described it was that I felt there was a conversation going on around me that I'm incapable of participating in. The thoughts I find myself surrounded by are not things I like to hear but I feel the need to entertain the idea to protect what I'm really feel if you could feel me on that one.

It sounds very much like dissociative disorder. Your mind is ready to process this event but at the same time, your in fight or flight mode because you feel threatened in some way. About your parents. The only person who will take care of you is You! It doesn't matter what they believe or don't believe. You can't pretend that Life is just Peachy and act like a stepford wife. Your Young. Don't be ashamed. I'm seeking a therapist right now. I had a psychotic visual hallucination
related being so triggered by past events. You must be your own advocate. If we seriously put a plan of care like exercise for our brain and stress. Don't run at life.
trust me. have done it and end up worn out stressed and discouraged. take one day a time. Taking small steps that will add up to your large goal.