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answerseeker71
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Default Feb 02, 2020 at 10:19 AM
  #1
My friend always uses references from tv shows, most times from one show because it is her favorite.
During conversations ie. Friday night we started talking how space exploration is important within a few minutes she brings up how characters on her fav tv show used nasa satillites to do this and that and how smart they are and they should be in nasa.... i said nothing and stopped talking and found a movie to start. This happens anytime we get talking about anything, you should hear the things she comes up with when we talk politics, it gets scary. Anything i can do to help my friend without hurting her feelings?
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Default Feb 02, 2020 at 01:01 PM
  #2
Your friend might not feel she needs any help.
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Default Feb 02, 2020 at 01:49 PM
  #3
"Anything I can do to help my friend without hurting her feelings?"

Yes there is.
Give her the respect and courtesy to participate in conversations the way she would like, not how you would like.
You may find your conversations far more rewarding when you don't feel the need to judge her.

We're all capable of off the wall conversations.
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Default Feb 02, 2020 at 02:03 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by answerseeker71 View Post
My friend always uses references from tv shows, most times from one show because it is her favorite.
During conversations ie. Friday night we started talking how space exploration is important within a few minutes she brings up how characters on her fav tv show used nasa satillites to do this and that and how smart they are and they should be in nasa.... i said nothing and stopped talking and found a movie to start. This happens anytime we get talking about anything, you should hear the things she comes up with when we talk politics, it gets scary. Anything i can do to help my friend without hurting her feelings?
its actually quite normal for people to reference tv shows books movies and characters when talking. it gives whats called common ground in conversations. its actually taught in elementary school, jr high high school and colleges effective communications, giving speaches public talks or just chatting with a friend kinds of classes to find a common ground when in conversations with people. if you know they watch tv or what ever bring that into the conversation so that they can understand the speaker better.

suggestion next time you are out in public listen to how people around you are talking, you will find that just about every conversation includes the common grounds elements of bringing tv, books, movies and characters into the conversation.

another suggestion sign up for a free seminar, workshop or town hall meeting and listen to how the key speaker engages the audience by including references to things like tv, movies, books, the news, facebook, twitter and so on.

you can also ask your friend why they do that and how to do that too so that you can feel more comfortable with the conversations including your common ground areas too.
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Smile Feb 02, 2020 at 05:44 PM
  #5
Hello answerseeker: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

You asked if there is anything you can do to help your friend who always uses references to TV shows in her conversations with you. I'm inclined to agree with the other repliers who suggested perhaps your friend may neither need nor want your help. On the other hand, I would have to say what you did, when your friend started talking about characters in her favorite TV show, is certainly one way to respond... or not respond as the case may be.

Whenever your friend begins talking about something related to a TV show, simply don't reply. Proceed with doing something (as you did with finding the movie) or perhaps go on to a different subject. Having you respond to her "TV talk" is reinforcing for her. So not responding, going on to a different subject or proceeding to do something such as select a movie to watch withholds that positive reinforcement. And then, at the same time, of course, you do want to respond positively any time your friend does talk about things that don't relate to her favorite TV programs.

Over time, if you can do these things consistently you may find your friend will talk less about her favorite TV programs & more about other things. My personal opinion would be your friend is unlikely to take kindly to your telling her she needs to talk less about TV programs no matter how gently or kindly you try to put it. Worst case scenario, you may even lose her as a friend in the process.

Having written all of that though, just in case you still want to try to talk with your friend about what she's doing, here are links to 5 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that talk about how to prepare to have difficult conversations. Even if you don't end up talking with your friend about what she's doing, perhaps the information in these articles can be of help to you in other situations you encounter in your life:

5 Ways to Prepare for a Difficult Conversation

5 Tips for Better Conversations With the People You Love

How to Have Difficult Conversations

3 Tips for Better Communication During Difficult Conversations

Uncomfortable Conversations: How to Overcome Awkward Moments | Anger Management

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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Default Feb 02, 2020 at 05:51 PM
  #6
I guess I don't really see what the problem is. Is it that she watches the show and you don't, so you are unable to keep up with the conversation? You said talking politics is scary. Is that because she has different opinions from you or because she relates it back to the show she likes?
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Default Feb 02, 2020 at 09:43 PM
  #7
It sounds like you and your friend have different personalities. She prefers to inject pop culture references into her conversations with you (and possibly everyone b/c that's who she is) whereas that's not your communication style, and most likely, interest.

Your friend doesn't need help. What she needs, is for you to accept her for who she is. If that's not something you're willing to do, then maybe a friendship with her isn't possibly anymore. Asking her to stop doing that is the same as telling her that you don't respect her because her habit of injecting pop culture into conversations annoys you.

Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel, is she told you outright, that your communication style annoyed her and that she wanted you to change or she wouldn't be friends with you anymore.
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Default Feb 21, 2020 at 08:05 AM
  #8
Your friends its okay so disagree =)

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should i just ignore it?

should i just ignore it?
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Default Feb 21, 2020 at 08:34 AM
  #9
Everyone has an opinion.......it has nothing to do with you (or anybody else)
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Default Feb 25, 2020 at 05:15 AM
  #10
You can't really help her if she doesn't see it as a problem. She must just really love the show.

But if you feel annoyed by her bringing it up all the time maybe just talk her? Otherwise, can't do much in this situation.

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should i just ignore it?
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