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Default Jan 19, 2020 at 04:07 PM
  #1
This girl I know who has very bad BPD but not much else claimed for about a couple weeks that she was trans. She announced it all over her Facebook. She said “I am for SURE a boy.” She posted obnoxious borderline transphobic homophobic memes. She was upset that none of her family was understanding. Then literally 2 weeks later she was back to being female. It just irks me to no end that someone would just make up being trans for attention while some people like myself have struggled with gender dysphoria for 15 years and am now getting the help I need. Why would she do that?

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Default Jan 19, 2020 at 04:52 PM
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Sounds like she wanted attention and drama. Fail.

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Default Jan 19, 2020 at 04:53 PM
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It strikes me that this is likely just attention seeking behavior. These are the same kinds of people who make false sexual abuse claims, claim they are in a physically/emotionally abusive relationship when they are not, etc. There is something significantly wrong with her brain. Forget about her.

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Default Jan 20, 2020 at 05:51 AM
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I know few people who claimed to have an illness (they haven’t had it), dying (they weren’t), abused sexually or physically (they weren’t and in fact some were abusers themselves), etc etc All for attention. Two of them are related and were both diagnosed BPD (seeking attention and drama is very common), others I am not sure about, maybe they just lied to seem important or maybe also had PDs and didn’t seek treatment

Don’t spend another 5 minutes thinking about her
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Default Jan 20, 2020 at 06:45 AM
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Because people are assholes.

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Default Jan 21, 2020 at 12:03 AM
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Because people are assholes.
That's the smartest thing I've heard all day.

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Default Jan 21, 2020 at 12:25 PM
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Because for some it's not & for others it is. So people tend to generalize & lump everyone under the same category.

Just like with mental illnesses, sometimes ENVIRONMENT does create the condition while at the same time others are born that way. The problem is that people don't acknowledge that both possibilities do occur.

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Default Jan 22, 2020 at 03:51 AM
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Hey @eskielover do you mean that environment can cause someone to be Gay or Tans? I guess cause isnt the best choice of words...um...can environment permanently alter a fundamental part of someone like their sexuality?
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Because for some it's not & for others it is. So people tend to generalize & lump everyone under the same category.

Just like with mental illnesses, sometimes ENVIRONMENT does create the condition while at the same time others are born that way. The problem is that people don't acknowledge that both possibilities do occur.

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Default Jan 22, 2020 at 01:44 PM
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Hey @eskielover do you mean that environment can cause someone to be Gay or Tans? I guess cause isnt the best choice of words...um...can environment permanently alter a fundamental part of someone like their sexuality?
Here is an interesting conversation from someone who dealt with it. Like he says (Listen to it all) this issue in MOST cases is more complex than what we want to see at surface level.

YouTube

That is just like with anorexia. They want to make it look simple like this person just sees their skinny self as fat.....but many times there is childhood abuse at the bottom of it (not always but many times there is so much more to it than just wanting to look like Twiggy.

When we LIMIT any treatments to anything that has a mental connection to what those treating want to perceive as the cause, we do a huge disservice to those who are REALLY the ones struggling.

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Default Jan 24, 2020 at 09:32 AM
  #10
If she does have severe BPD, then maybe that's her way of screaming for help? I'm not defending her actions. It's appalling, but I also feel sorry for her. Maybe that's her objective? She needs proper help and a healthy environment and it sounds like she's not getting either.
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Default Jan 25, 2020 at 05:54 PM
  #11
I understand how hurtful it was, but please look at it through the lens of her BPD. It can be hard to understand how a mind like that works unless you've intimately known people who were. Part of it was trying to grab attention, no doubt. But a bigger part of it was that she has a poor concept of identity; that lies at the heart of BPD. The way they view themselves can change 180 degrees in a matter of minutes with little external provocation that anyone else would notice. They don't become that way unless they experienced severe trauma and instability as very tiny children, before a stable sense of self had the chance to form.

Again, I'm sorry for the pain this has caused you. There's so much misunderstanding and stigma around gender transitioning, and such things only add to it. 15 years is a long time to struggle with being able to finally be yourself. I'm so glad you were able to reach out for help.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 07:08 AM
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Now she’s talking about how she’s such an empowering women and she’s tagging other women in this challenge sort of thing on Facebook. She has completely blown my mind. It’s like she doesn’t even remember what she said 6 months ago.

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Default Feb 11, 2020 at 10:30 AM
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Now she’s talking about how she’s such an empowering women and she’s tagging other women in this challenge sort of thing on Facebook. She has completely blown my mind. It’s like she doesn’t even remember what she said 6 months ago.

I dated someone who I'm certain was BPD. The behavior you're describing is 100% the condition, and she probably doesn't remember what she said 6 months ago. I know how frustrating it is to deal with. If I may offer advice, it would probably be best for you to cut her from your life if she's causing you this much pain and aggravation. If your social circle necessarily includes her at its edges, then try to ignore her behavior. It's about her own unstable sense of self, and has nothing to do with the issues she clearly doesn't understand.
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Default Feb 21, 2020 at 06:54 PM
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So I announced my transition today on Facebook. I got an outpouring of positive reactions and comments and support from my Facebook friends. A few hours after I posted that, that girl posted a long post about how she has decided to temporarily leave Facebook because she no longer feels the need to be as active as she used to be on it. Did my post in anyway trigger her? It wasn’t my intention. A lot of my Facebook friends that commented on my post know her and want nothing to do with her. So maybe she saw that. Or maybe it has nothing to do with anything. It was just the timing. Thats all.

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Default Feb 22, 2020 at 11:13 AM
  #15
Congrats on your announcement, Mountaindewed! I'm so glad you got such an outpouring of support. I don't think you need to worry about whether or not your posting had anything to do with the girl taking a FB break. Most people have far more than one reason for making decisions. The most important thing to think about is whether the decision you have made is what will bring you closer to living out your truth and being happy.
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Default Feb 22, 2020 at 01:41 PM
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I do think there is such a thing as gender fluidity. A friend of mine is bisexual. I have always been heterosexual,but I knew a brilliant lesbian who I was attracted to.I suppose this will infuriate people who are sure a person is just born a certain way and that’s it. Lots of gray areas , I think. I think this person being borderline contributed to this particular situation, from what posters here are saying.

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Default Feb 24, 2020 at 09:44 AM
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Thread closed for administrative review.

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