Imaginary Situations (cw: abuse)

Hey! So. A while back I was Nothing ever happened, physically. Most of our communication was via skype because we lived in different cities and neither of us had a car.
Now, here's the question: Sometimes I'll feel like I'm living in a moment when he did the things he threatend to do, but never really happened. Why do I get these "flashbacks" of things that never really happened? Is that normal?

Dear Yachats,

I wish I had an answer to this question you asked, but sadly I don't. The human brain is very mysterious and seems to have a mind of its own, so to speak. It often does things that surprise us. Since every human brain has both qualities in common with other brains, and unique qualities, it seems do things which are both common and rare and everything in between these two extremes.

Even psychologists, psychiatrists and neurologists experience things generated by their own brains which are weird, shocking or scary. I don't know anyone is immune from being surprised or shocked by things their brain is generating.

I am not sure what the word "normal" means or what you mean when you use that word. I think normal has at least two senses. It can mean a range of things that humans generally experience and it can mean the opposite of unhealthy. I am not sure how many people have experienced what you describe. A medical professional like a psychologist or psychiatrist would probably know about that.

If by "normal" you mean the opposite of "abnormal" in the sense of unhealthy, that is also something a medical professional would probably be able to address properly.
My own brain has certain done things that have not only surprised me at times, but even shocked or scared me, so I can certain identity with what you have written about although our details are different.

There was a psychologist once who was asked how people knew when they should visit a psychologist. He answered: "When something in their life is greatly distressing them or interfering in the day to day living of their lives."

If you have not consulted with a psychologist about what you are experiencing and if you are being really distressed by it, do you think it might be helpful to consult with one? Your health and well-being are too important to be left in the hands of those who are non-professionals. None of us here would want you to suffer.

If I was a medical professional, I would certainly try to help you, but sadly I am just a sufferer of depression and anxiety disorders. I sure hope you find something that is helpful to you. You deserve that!

Hopefully these Forums will prove to be helpful to you too. Although each of us suffers things that are unique, we are all fellow sufferers here and know what it is like to suffer from things which are unique to us. So please feel free to lean on us for moral support whenever you need to. That is why we are here.

Sincerely yours, -- Yao Wen

Hello Yachats: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central. Here's a link to the Survivors of Abuse forum, here on PC, just in case you haven't already found it:

https://psychcentralforums.com/survivors-of-abuse/

And then here are links to 7 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subjects of verbal abuse as well as flashbacks:

How Victims are groomed by Abusive Predators

Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part I

Signs You Are Verbally Abused: Part II

Learn the Subtle Signs of a Loved One's Verbal Abuse

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...-relationship/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/after...hbacks-happen/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/coping-with-flashbacks/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

Hi Yachats,

It's true that it is actually difficult to pin down what 'normal' really means, but in the broad, general sense, I do think that given what happened to you, your brain responded in what I think to be a straightforward way. A normal way, yes.

So, I can only speculate but it seems possible that when he threatened to sexually abuse you [which is obviously terrible] those threats, those words, were interpreted correctly by you, and so naturally your mind was able to picture what it might be like to be abused and traumatized, in such a way - and of course it would be horrible, humiliating. Flashbacks happen and with you, they're happening with the images of his threats attached. As I say, I'm speculating.

But threats and verbal abuses are traumas that can stick in the mind just like physical abuses.