advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
pliepla
Member
pliepla has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: Ghent, Belgium
Posts: 247
3 yr Member
70 hugs
given
Default Jun 28, 2020 at 08:52 AM
  #21
I would yell at my younger me, kick him, and beat him until the younger me would show his parents his middle finger, tell them they should have adopted an engineer instead of having me I would make sure he would pack his things, leave the house and carve out his own path.

After all, studying, working and eventually falling out of a job I loathed (in more than one way) always turns out to be the basis of my mental issues so given the opportunity, I would have done anything to save myself. Even a good beating probably would have been less traumatizing than growning up in the knowledge I should have been somebody else.
pliepla is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
rdgrad15

advertisement
rdgrad15
Magnate
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
5 yr Member
199 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2020 at 01:19 PM
  #22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
Yeah. I was stupid to get married. It was the biggest mistake of my life!!!! What a colossal mistake, and now I am paying for it big time.
Well I hope things work out in your favor and you can marry someone who truly loves you and supports you.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
rdgrad15
Magnate
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
5 yr Member
199 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2020 at 01:23 PM
  #23
Quote:
Originally Posted by pliepla View Post
I would yell at my younger me, kick him, and beat him until the younger me would show his parents his middle finger, tell them they should have adopted an engineer instead of having me I would make sure he would pack his things, leave the house and carve out his own path.

After all, studying, working and eventually falling out of a job I loathed (in more than one way) always turns out to be the basis of my mental issues so given the opportunity, I would have done anything to save myself. Even a good beating probably would have been less traumatizing than growning up in the knowledge I should have been somebody else.
I can understand you wanting to change who you were. I'd make sure I didn't repeat a lot of the mistakes I made too. Not change the course of history entirely. I would still go to the same college, got the same job, meet the same people I actually do like and who treat me well, and everything else. Just would have avoided certain people and events that, at the time, I got the sense wasn't going to be a good idea but I ignored those gut feelings anyway. I'd give myself a beating too. I was a real idiot to the point of embarrassment.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2020 at 01:24 PM
  #24
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
Well I hope things work out in your favor and you can marry someone who truly loves you and supports you.
Aw thanks!!! After this relationship though, I’m choosing to be single the rest of my life. C’est la vie!

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
rdgrad15
rdgrad15
Magnate
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
5 yr Member
199 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2020 at 01:25 PM
  #25
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
Aw thanks!!! After this relationship though, I’m choosing to be single the rest of my life. C’est la vie!
You're welcome! And nothing wrong with that. I plan on being single myself as well.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Have Hope
 
Thanks for this!
Have Hope
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,617 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2020 at 01:38 PM
  #26
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
You're welcome! And nothing wrong with that. I plan on being single myself as well.
I feel safer that way. And I know I can be plenty happy that way too!

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
rdgrad15
pliepla
Member
pliepla has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2019
Location: Ghent, Belgium
Posts: 247
3 yr Member
70 hugs
given
Default Jun 28, 2020 at 02:53 PM
  #27
Quote:
Originally Posted by rdgrad15 View Post
I can understand you wanting to change who you were. I'd make sure I didn't repeat a lot of the mistakes I made too. Not change the course of history entirely. I would still go to the same college, got the same job, meet the same people I actually do like and who treat me well, and everything else. Just would have avoided certain people and events that, at the time, I got the sense wasn't going to be a good idea but I ignored those gut feelings anyway. I'd give myself a beating too. I was a real idiot to the point of embarrassment.
It is quite hard to explain. It is rather that I'm trying to get in touch with the little piece of myself that still lingers inside. It's the part that had a whole different idea about life. It is also the part that succumbed after 4 years of brute pressure and emotional abuse. I am not mad at myself (anymore), somethimes I think I held out pretty long, but I am mad at my parents for wanting a child and then not wanting to accept that the child did not turn out what they expected in the first place. And mostly for trying to force me into something that would be a burden and prevent me from becoming happy for all my life. And for completely crushing me in the process.

It's a complex thing and most therapists only get it after a month or two. I'm kind of like an avocado: the seed is who I was up to +/- 15 years old and the fruit is what my parents wanted me to be ... I'd like to become just seed. Pfff, finding good metaphores is hard
pliepla is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
rdgrad15
rdgrad15
Magnate
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
5 yr Member
199 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2020 at 03:40 PM
  #28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
I feel safer that way. And I know I can be plenty happy that way too!
Yep exactly!
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
rdgrad15
Magnate
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
5 yr Member
199 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 28, 2020 at 03:42 PM
  #29
Quote:
Originally Posted by pliepla View Post
It is quite hard to explain. It is rather that I'm trying to get in touch with the little piece of myself that still lingers inside. It's the part that had a whole different idea about life. It is also the part that succumbed after 4 years of brute pressure and emotional abuse. I am not mad at myself (anymore), somethimes I think I held out pretty long, but I am mad at my parents for wanting a child and then not wanting to accept that the child did not turn out what they expected in the first place. And mostly for trying to force me into something that would be a burden and prevent me from becoming happy for all my life. And for completely crushing me in the process.

It's a complex thing and most therapists only get it after a month or two. I'm kind of like an avocado: the seed is who I was up to +/- 15 years old and the fruit is what my parents wanted me to be ... I'd like to become just seed. Pfff, finding good metaphores is hard
Oh I get it. Parents can put on too much pressure. My parents did that. I’m always doing something different from what they want.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
pliepla
Muse57
New Member
 
Muse57's Avatar
Muse57 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2020
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 5
3 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Jul 15, 2020 at 03:44 AM
  #30
If I could go back It would be to kick myself for not speaking up for someone I wanted. I would go back and change that in a heartbeat.
Muse57 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
rdgrad15
rdgrad15
Magnate
rdgrad15 Keep striving to be happy and maintain a positive mental attitude! :)
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
5 yr Member
199 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 15, 2020 at 01:10 PM
  #31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Muse57 View Post
If I could go back It would be to kick myself for not speaking up for someone I wanted. I would go back and change that in a heartbeat.
Yeah I totally understand that.
rdgrad15 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:55 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.