Can’t genuinely find joy, anxiety in overdrive?

I have come to the point where I very rarelyyyyy find things genuinely funny. There are things that I may buy or do that are occasionally “satisfying “ but I don’t think I’ve experienced pure joy or laughter in a long time.

Another issue i have is , well idk if it’s a lack of confidence? Paranoia? Straight up ocd? Extreme anxiety? Idk.... I do see a professional, and I am actually in the process of being evaluated for ASD....but I am constantly not trusting my actions and feeling that harm or humiliation will occur if i dont double check and triple check things... closing doors, throwing away garbage , filling a bag or box to be given away, checking a text message a dozen times to be sure I didn’t write anything I shouldn’t before sending it, making sure i didnt hit an innappropriate “ react” button to someones status on social media . I know that it is fairly irrational thinking . But Idk how to break the cycle. I try to start with one thing a day. Like try to go a whole day without double checking my bathroom door is closed when i leave it. Ya know? Reassuring myself out loud that everything is okay. I’m just not sure if that’s actually a good way to break these awful habits...it’s time consuming and I hate it, but I hate the idea of something bad happening even more...

I don't have any advice, but just wanted to offer support. I also double-check myself a lot and worry that I'll cause something bad to happen if I don't doublecheck everything. Oven off? Sure it's off? Sure you checked right? Really sure I checked right? Email inoffensive? Sure there's nothing offensive in there? Should I add more smiley faces to make sure it's not offensive? etc. I hope you can find a way to resolve this issue to your satisfaction.
I have depression issues and that is the cause of lack of joy/etc for me. I do have flashes of humor and can enjoy myself for brief periods of time. Typically involving chocolate, unfortunately, lol.

Yes!! Thats how i check things too!!! And yeah, snacks usually make me feel better too ha

What I've been trying to do is think of things that I used to really enjoy doing, and do them, and see if there's a spark there. Even if it's just mildly enjoyable, I keep doing it a little at a time. I actually got myself to the point where I was able to read a whole book last week. I didn't get the same level of satisfaction I used to get out of a good book, but I did get satisfaction out of the fact that I managed to focus my attention long enough to read the whole thing, and mildly enjoy it, lol. I know the joy is out there, so I just hang on to every drop of watered-down enjoyment and hope that eventually I'll get a good drink of joy.

I can relate (sorry I'm not feeling very verbal right now)

You should read the thread I started on the bipolar forum on feeling hollow or dead inside. Bunch of us feel this way. There is obviously a very specific neurochemical explanation for it. Likely closely related to depression and negative schizophrenia symptoms. You are far from alone. Meds can address this. Do not give up! Have faith! There is always hope!