Advice for putting yourself in a stressful situation? Saying goodbye is hard

Bat_Orchid90 · Sep 17, 2020 at 10:51 AM

So I’ve come to the conclusion that a family member of mine may not be around much longer. Not covid related. But nonetheless they are already in a hospital. And while that is a risk on it’s own, I have ptsd. I can not stand being in a hospital, near a hospital , a parking lot of one nothing. The sounds, the smells, the noise makes me physically ill. I sweat. I shake. I panic, my mind races...I’m nauseous. Fainting/blacking out is a real possibility.....The last few times i “had” to go to a hospital but I was able to go with someone. These issues still occurred and each time i had to leave within a few minutes... with covid restrictions you are only allowed to visit one at a time and I don’t think I can go through with walking into a hospital alone....I am conflicted because I’d like to show my support and respect.... but at the same time this is one of the absolute triggers for me.... so far I’ve gotten away with making a phone call... but in the end i know my family would expect me to physically show up in person....

Open Eyes · Sep 17, 2020 at 07:37 PM

I’m sorry you struggle that way and I totally understand as I myself have had so much trauma related to hospitals that I also really struggle and I also have ptsd.

Honestly given the Covid challenge I think it’s ok to just call and not go to the hospital.

Sep 17, 2020 at 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bat_Orchid90

So I’ve come to the conclusion that a family member of mine may not be around much longer. Not covid related. But nonetheless they are already in a hospital. And while that is a risk on it’s own, I have ptsd. I can not stand being in a hospital, near a hospital , a parking lot of one nothing. The sounds, the smells, the noise makes me physically ill. I sweat. I shake. I panic, my mind races...I’m nauseous. Fainting/blacking out is a real possibility.....The last few times i “had” to go to a hospital but I was able to go with someone. These issues still occurred and each time i had to leave within a few minutes... with covid restrictions you are only allowed to visit one at a time and I don’t think I can go through with walking into a hospital alone....I am conflicted because I’d like to show my support and respect.... but at the same time this is one of the absolute triggers for me.... so far I’ve gotten away with making a phone call... but in the end i know my family would expect me to physically show up in person....

Actually hospitals don’t allow visitors due to Covid restrictions. And I am in the US. When my mother was in the hospital last week, we weren’t allowed to visit her because of Covid restrictions. So technically you’re already off the hook. Plus you can always do a virtual visit via FaceTime or zoom with the family member who’s in the hospital. That’s what technology is for.

You’re an adult? Then your family can’t dictate your choices. You do what is best for you.

bpcyclist · Sep 18, 2020 at 01:17 AM

Focus on caring for you first. You are no good to anyone when flaring. Hugs.

Bat_Orchid90 · Sep 18, 2020 at 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Motts

Actually hospitals don’t allow visitors due to Covid restrictions. And I am in the US. When my mother was in the hospital last week, we weren’t allowed to visit her because of Covid restrictions. So technically you’re already off the hook. Plus you can always do a virtual visit via FaceTime or zoom with the family member who’s in the hospital. That’s what technology is for.

You’re an adult? Then your family can’t dictate your choices. You do what is best for you.

I am in the US as well and the hospital my family member is in does allow visitors, just one at a time. Thats why i know if I went, I’d be alone. I dont think Zoom or facetime is an option....

Bat_Orchid90 · Sep 18, 2020 at 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Focus on caring for you first. You are no good to anyone when flaring. Hugs.

That’s true :/..

Sep 18, 2020 at 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bat_Orchid90

I am in the US as well and the hospital my family member is in does allow visitors, just one at a time. Thats why i know if I went, I’d be alone. I dont think Zoom or facetime is an option....

If your family member has a cellphone with them, then, yes, Zoom or FaceTime is an option. But you have to call the hospital to verify that. I know that some hospitals do that with patients. I was able to FaceTime with my mother from her hospital room with the nurse's cellphone.

If you don't want to visit this family member due to your issues, then just don't. And if your family has a problem with your choice, well, that's more about them being assholes then it is about you. Just ignore their judgment. They aren't living your life.

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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,108 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.3k hugs given	Sep 17, 2020 at 07:37 PM #2 I’m sorry you struggle that way and I totally understand as I myself have had so much trauma related to hospitals that I also really struggle and I also have ptsd. Honestly given the Covid challenge I think it’s ok to just call and not go to the hospital.
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bpcyclist Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Portland Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!) 4 40.2k hugs given	Sep 18, 2020 at 01:17 AM #4 Focus on caring for you first. You are no good to anyone when flaring. Hugs. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
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