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Old 03-10-2012, 09:33 AM   #91
iamspecial
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Default Re: Anyone know any good jokes?? (please place them here)

Anyone know any good jokes?? (please place them here)
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Anyone know any good jokes?? (please place them here)

Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you.

iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again
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Old 03-10-2012, 06:01 PM   #92
unaluna
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I know this is an old one, but I just got it in the mail again from someone who apparently forgot she sent it to me 5 years ago!

Texting for Seniors

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you.

Please pass this on to your children and grandchildren so they can understand your texts.

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Fainted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CGU: Can't get up
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry Gas.
ROFL...CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI: (Gotta Go Laxative Kicking In)
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Old 03-15-2012, 08:09 PM   #93
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Default Re: Anyone know any good jokes?? (please place them here)

Why did the little girl bury her flashlight?
Her batteries were dead.
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Anyone know any good jokes?? (please place them here)

Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you.

iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again
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Old 03-15-2012, 08:59 PM   #94
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Anyone know any good jokes?? (please place them here)
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Old 03-16-2012, 06:41 AM   #95
di meliora
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http://www.senate.gov/general/contac...nators_cfm.cfm
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Old 03-17-2012, 01:20 PM   #96
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NOTES FROM THE EDGE:


Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely,
Superman



Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5:00pm.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a b--ch.
Sincerely,
The Titanic

Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada

Dear Yahoo,
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
Sincerely,
Google

Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely,
All Non-white People

Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies

Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely,
Native Americans

Dear iPhone,
Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut. Sincerely,
Every iPhone Use
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Old 03-17-2012, 04:47 PM   #97
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Default Re: Anyone know any good jokes?? (please place them here)

What's brown and sticky?

A stick
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There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious—makes you so sick at heart—that you can't take part. You can't even passively take part.
And you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon the levers, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop.
And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, to the people who own it, that unless you're free, the machine will be prevented from working at all."

Mario Savio
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Old 03-17-2012, 05:02 PM   #98
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Here's a site that "teaches" your jokes to become more like those you like:

http://shadow.ieor.berkeley.edu/humor/
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Old 03-17-2012, 06:17 PM   #99
unaluna
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomjones View Post
What's brown and sticky?

A stick
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Old 03-18-2012, 10:37 PM   #100
iamspecial
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Default Re: Anyone know any good jokes?? (please place them here)

Anyone know any good jokes?? (please place them here)
__________________
Anyone know any good jokes?? (please place them here)

Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you.

iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again
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