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Jan 14, 2015 at 04:01 PM
#201
1 day a little girl comes in the house and anounces, my tummy hurts.
the mom says, that's because you're hungry, you need to put something in it a couple of days later, the vickar comes round for dinner. after dinner he says, oh, i've got such a head ache the girl says.. that's because it's empty!. you need to put something in it! |
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 bubbles00, iamspecial, unaluna
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Jan 14, 2015 at 04:05 PM
#202
1 day an irishman walks in to the bar and orders 3 beers.
he walks to the table, drinks them all 1 by 1, then goes back to the bar and orders 3 more. the bar tender says, it's best if i pour them 1 at a time- they go flat as soon as i pour them irishman explains i've got 2 brothers, 1 in australia, and 1 in america. we made a promise after the war we'd drink together- and since we can't all be here, it's a nice way of doing it. the barman thinks this is a good idea and leaves it at that anyway, the irishman becomes a regular in the bar- always ordering 3 beers. 1 day he comes in and only orders 2 the other regulars fall silent when he goes up to get the second round the barman says, i'm so sorry for your loss. the irishman looks quite confused for a moment, then a light dawns in him and he says.. oh no, everyone's fine. i've just given up drinking |
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iamspecial, unaluna
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Jan 14, 2015 at 04:07 PM
#203
2 blondes go on holiday to disney land california
so they are driving in their car and they see a sign disneyland left.. so they went home |
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iamspecial, unaluna
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Jan 15, 2015 at 10:29 AM
#204
come on people... let's fill this thread up with jokes!. hahaha
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iamspecial
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Jan 15, 2015 at 11:50 AM
#205
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!" __________________ "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - Winnie the Pooh 
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iamspecial
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Member Since Feb 2014
Location: City of Townsville
Posts: 394
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Jan 15, 2015 at 11:54 AM
#206
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.
Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?! __________________ "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - Winnie the Pooh
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iamspecial
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Jan 15, 2015 at 11:58 AM
#207
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
__________________ "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - Winnie the Pooh
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iamspecial
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Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: City of Townsville
Posts: 394
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Jan 15, 2015 at 11:59 AM
#208
Wife: "In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."
Husband: "I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill." __________________ "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - Winnie the Pooh
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iamspecial
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Location: City of Townsville
Posts: 394
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Jan 15, 2015 at 12:05 PM
#209
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
__________________ "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - Winnie the Pooh
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iamspecial, unaluna
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Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: City of Townsville
Posts: 394
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Jan 15, 2015 at 12:08 PM
#210
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Me: With Me. Police: Where do you all live? Me: Together. Police: Where is your house? Me: Next to my neighbors house. Police: Where is your neighbors house? Me: You won't believe me if I tell you. Police: Tell Me! Me: Next to my house. __________________ "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - Winnie the Pooh
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iamspecial
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Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: City of Townsville
Posts: 394
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Jan 15, 2015 at 12:10 PM
#211
Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"
*Nobody stands up* Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!" *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?" Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..." __________________ "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - Winnie the Pooh
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iamspecial, IchbinkeinTeufel, lizardlady
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Jan 15, 2015 at 12:44 PM
#212
Cop: "Did you kill this man?"
Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed." __________________ "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - Winnie the Pooh
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iamspecial, IchbinkeinTeufel
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Jan 15, 2015 at 05:57 PM
#213
Inventions by idiots:
1) Inflatable dart board 2) Glow-in-the-dark sunglasses 3) A book on how to read 4) Solar-powered flashlight 5) Screen door on a submarine |
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iamspecial, IchbinkeinTeufel, unaluna
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Jan 16, 2015 at 03:41 PM
#214
Quote:
__________________ { Kein Teufel }
Translation: Not a devil [ `id -u` -eq 0 ] || exit 1 |
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bubbles00, iamspecial
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Jan 18, 2015 at 01:59 PM
#215
and here's a poem:
I dig you dig he digs she digs everyone digs (I know it's not a good poem, but it's so deep) __________________ "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - Winnie the Pooh
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iamspecial
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Elder
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Nov 08, 2015 at 11:06 AM
#216
__________________  Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you. iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again |
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Elder
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Nov 08, 2015 at 11:08 AM
#217
__________________ Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you. iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again |
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Elder
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Nov 08, 2015 at 11:15 AM
#218
__________________ Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you. iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again |
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Elder
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Nov 08, 2015 at 11:19 AM
#219
__________________ Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you. iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again |
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Elder
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Nov 08, 2015 at 11:31 AM
#220
__________________ Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you. iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again |
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lizardlady
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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