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Old 02-18-2019, 01:56 PM #791
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Default Re: How are you feeling right now #3

I'm tired and unwell.
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Old 02-18-2019, 02:32 PM #792
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A little tired but good this afternoon
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Old 02-18-2019, 03:36 PM #793
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Default Re: How are you feeling right now #3

I feel like I'm annoying everybody.

Annoying my neighbor complaining about the dogs.

About to annoy the company that sent me food that's not sealed properly.

And annoying everyone here by asking about it, b/c I feel like an idiot and can't figure out if I should just suck it up and throw the food out and move on with my life, or try to get them to give me a refund b/c food should be sealed!

Annoying my neurofeedback trainer, because I can't just do the protocols he asks me to do... because my brain is stressed and overreacts to everything, because I end up with huge reactions to protocols that should be super easy and not an issue, and because I then send him messages (chat channel for training) with long explanations of why everything is going wrong and asking him to reconsider the protocol and make the time shorter... because I've been having headaches almost every day.

I'm sure I will annoy my therapist tomorrow, because I say no to everything she tries to do and don't have any better ideas and don't feel safe enough to just blab about anything important like you're apparently supposed to do

And I'm annoying myself. By being stuck in this stupid lousy life and not being able to figure out how to make any of it better.

It's really really depressing to think that this is it. I've done the best I can do, and this is the result. It's not going to get better and at this point I'm just trying to stop things from getting worse!

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Old 02-18-2019, 06:20 PM #794
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Iím kind of concerned Iím not going to get my period. Iíve been on seasonale birth control for 8 years. Iím supposed to get my period 4 times a year. In August I missed it. My doctor wasnít concerned. She said it happens with BC. I did get it in November. But now Iíve taken the second placebo and I have no cramps or bloating or anything like that. Plus I feel fine mentally as well. No mood swings or anxiety or anything. I have PMDD. Nothing is wrong physically itís just the BC itself. I just know itís not healthy to keep skipping periods like this.
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Old 02-18-2019, 10:58 PM #795
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Tired and frustrated. I've had quite a few health problems piling up and I'm having issues with my car.
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Old 02-19-2019, 01:10 AM #796
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Default Re: How are you feeling right now #3

I feel uneasy right now and I`m afraid I`m going to get a panic attack. I really wish I could escape these feelings.
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Old 02-19-2019, 10:35 AM #797
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Depressed today
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Old 02-19-2019, 10:57 AM #798
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Default Re: How are you feeling right now #3

Anxious, stressed, depressed.
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Old 02-19-2019, 12:26 PM #799
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Annoyed,another member here questioned my perceptions of abusive behaviour towards me because I had been mentally ill.I hate people who deny my perceptions.I posted it in survivors of abuse under trauma memories,I mean I was looking for support not to be invalidated.I hate people like that that put the boot in and kick you when you are down.She reckons she got things wrong and her perceptions were off cos she was mentally ill,so I must have been the same.Err you and I are not the same love,just cos that happened in your case doesn't mean it applies to me.This woman has made me so annoyed and made me feel 10 times worse.I have put the stupid woman on my ignore list,invalidating my experiences and denying my perceptions is a 100% deal breaker for me.
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Old 02-19-2019, 12:52 PM #800
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Default Re: How are you feeling right now #3

I'm struggling today. I think the neurofeedback is making me more depressed. Bad headache after training last night, though thankfully that's gone now.

Mostly, I think I'm frustrated that there's no one in real life that I can really talk to about things that feel bad...

I should be able to tell my NF guy things like:
Possible trigger:


I should be able to talk to my therapist about things like this weird "state" I get in (withdrawn, don't really want to talk to people, far away and dreamy) - but I can't. Because last time I went in feeling like this, very withdrawn, she freaked out, and it sucked. So, I'm about to head out to T and no clue what I'm going to talk about.

It's all just stupid. Life feels kind of stupid and pointless, and I don't feel like I can say that to the two people who probably most need to hear it.
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