How are you feeling right now #3

Tired and bored

extremely anxious

this new insider is going to ruin my life, and I didn't think she was really a threat

Pretty good a little tired.

Pretty rotten,I have swings of mood,last night I was extremely depressed,same this morning,then it lifted,but tonight I am depressed again.Right now I am so low I want to cry.

Really tired despite taking a nap this afternoon.

hopeless, tired, stressed, headachey, sad sad sad

Can’t sleep

Mixed emotions

I have a lot of background fear,also a fear that I am going to die soon.I spoke to my therapist again,our sessions ended in December,about seeing her again,as I am not in a good place,she agreed to see me again for a few sessions.I told her about dropping out of the art course because of bullying and that the art tutor joined in the bullying.She said that is a shame,then I told her about the introduction to counselling 10 week course that I'd like to try and asked her if she'd referee me.She said she'd ask her boss if that was ok and if he said yes she'd be happy to do it.I actually had mentioned to her in one of our sessions last year that I wanted to do her job and I was surprised when she said ,why don't you,I am sure you can do it,it is entirely possible.I didn't think more about it at the time, but the idea recently came into my head to look into it and sure enough the intro course is available this September.It is only a 10 week course which you can do to see if the job is suitable for you and you are into it.I have nothing to lose giving it a go.
Part of me thinks I can do it and be good at it another part of me think I haven't got the energy,skills or intelligence.But then I have had that many **** counsellors and therapists I know for a fact I have the knowledge and experience to do better than them!Yet I lack confidence and self esteem.This is all conflicting feelings and makes me confused and disorientated and overwhelmed that I want to just give up and not do it.The encouraging thing is I've found out the cost of the courses that I have to do and they are affordable!

I am mopping up tears with tissues
Feeling unreal
Unbound to the earth
Like a storybook character
With the book closed
Just drifting through nothingness

I'm tired and unwell.

A little tired but good this afternoon

I feel like I'm annoying everybody.

Annoying my neighbor complaining about the dogs.

About to annoy the company that sent me food that's not sealed properly.

And annoying everyone here by asking about it, b/c I feel like an idiot and can't figure out if I should just suck it up and throw the food out and move on with my life, or try to get them to give me a refund b/c food should be sealed!

Annoying my neurofeedback trainer, because I can't just do the protocols he asks me to do... because my brain is stressed and overreacts to everything, because I end up with huge reactions to protocols that should be super easy and not an issue, and because I then send him messages (chat channel for training) with long explanations of why everything is going wrong and asking him to reconsider the protocol and make the time shorter... because I've been having headaches almost every day.

I'm sure I will annoy my therapist tomorrow, because I say no to everything she tries to do and don't have any better ideas and don't feel safe enough to just blab about anything important like you're apparently supposed to do

And I'm annoying myself. By being stuck in this stupid lousy life and not being able to figure out how to make any of it better.

It's really really depressing to think that this is it. I've done the best I can do, and this is the result. It's not going to get better and at this point I'm just trying to stop things from getting worse!

I’m kind of concerned I’m not going to get my period. I’ve been on seasonale birth control for 8 years. I’m supposed to get my period 4 times a year. In August I missed it. My doctor wasn’t concerned. She said it happens with BC. I did get it in November. But now I’ve taken the second placebo and I have no cramps or bloating or anything like that. Plus I feel fine mentally as well. No mood swings or anxiety or anything. I have PMDD. Nothing is wrong physically it’s just the BC itself. I just know it’s not healthy to keep skipping periods like this.

Tired and frustrated. I've had quite a few health problems piling up and I'm having issues with my car.

I feel uneasy right now and I`m afraid I`m going to get a panic attack. I really wish I could escape these feelings.

Depressed today

Anxious, stressed, depressed.

Annoyed,another member here questioned my perceptions of abusive behaviour towards me because I had been mentally ill.I hate people who deny my perceptions.I posted it in survivors of abuse under trauma memories,I mean I was looking for support not to be invalidated.I hate people like that that put the boot in and kick you when you are down.She reckons she got things wrong and her perceptions were off cos she was mentally ill,so I must have been the same.Err you and I are not the same love,just cos that happened in your case doesn't mean it applies to me.This woman has made me so annoyed and made me feel 10 times worse.I have put the stupid woman on my ignore list,invalidating my experiences and denying my perceptions is a 100% deal breaker for me.

I'm struggling today. I think the neurofeedback is making me more depressed. Bad headache after training last night, though thankfully that's gone now.

Mostly, I think I'm frustrated that there's no one in real life that I can really talk to about things that feel bad...

I should be able to tell my NF guy things like:


I should be able to talk to my therapist about things like this weird "state" I get in (withdrawn, don't really want to talk to people, far away and dreamy) - but I can't. Because last time I went in feeling like this, very withdrawn, she freaked out, and it sucked. So, I'm about to head out to T and no clue what I'm going to talk about.

It's all just stupid. Life feels kind of stupid and pointless, and I don't feel like I can say that to the two people who probably most need to hear it.