advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 14, 2019 at 08:12 AM
  #1
My husband and I recently bought a house and are moving. As per the lease, we gave notice to the landlord that we are leaving with a certified letter and it was received. Our relationship with the landlord, who lives next door, has not been great. She is very elderly; honestly she probably shouldn’t be living on her own. She thinks because she is old she doesn’t have to maintain the property and there are problems such as a leaky roof (the whole thing needs to be replaced we have been told) and flooring coming up. The house dates from the 60s and it looks like it was never taken care of. She has accused us of not paying rent (coming over the house and shrieking at us at how we were terrible people for leaving her in a bad situation by stiffing her on the rent). We had paid it. She also has told us she spent the security deposit and we won’t be seeing that.
Anyways, we were worried she wouldn’t take us moving well, because she is not going to want to fix up the place/find new tenants and she may not even be considered mentally competent to sign a new contract. So, it is a bit weird that we haven’t had a peep as far as us moving, not from her or from a neighbor who helps her out with some things. That neighbor and her maid and a few other people were over at the house talking to her the other day, possibly discussing that we are moving.

The lease is in my name and my husband thinks I should go over there and confirm she knows we are moving. Honestly, I don’t want to at all. I don’t see anything positive coming from that. It would probably turn into another shrieking incident. Plus, if she forgot we are moving once, she is likely to forget again.

I am thinking maybe, of saying something to the neighbor, but am not too thrilled about having that conversation either. I really just want to be able to fade off into the night and not have drama. What do others think? What would you do?
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
WishfulThinker66
Magnate
 
WishfulThinker66's Avatar
WishfulThinker66 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,285
5 yr Member
117 hugs
given
Default Mar 14, 2019 at 12:34 PM
  #2
Personally, I would provide another letter, this one sent by registered mail. It would require her signature on receipt of it thus she cannot deny she knows about the move. I would get on this right away. Good luck in this.
WishfulThinker66 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 14, 2019 at 12:49 PM
  #3
Thanks. Here they call registered mail certified mail. We sent it that way and she did sign for it. I have the tracking information from the post office as proof.

Personally, I think that is enough We fulfilled our obligation and are covered. Beyond that, it's not my problem, even if she is elderly. Maybe that sounds mean, but it's not like she's exactly been nice to us.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
WishfulThinker66
guilloche
Magnate
guilloche has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: US
Posts: 2,734
8 yr Member
2,704 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 14, 2019 at 08:31 PM
  #4
Hi Rechu!

Wow, your landlord sounds *awful*. When's the big day for finally leaving?!?

I think you're absolutely right, you've got proof that she signed for the letter and you're covered. I also agree, it's not your responsibility to hand hold her through this, especially given how terrible she's been to interact with.

The only other thing that comes to mind is - in your position, I'd want to make things as easy as possible for myself (i.e. as stress-free as possible). So, I'd be trying to figure out if there's anything that I need to do to ease stress (including future stress on move-out day) for myself.

Do you expect her to confront you when you finally move out, or when you return the keys? Do you have a plan for returning the keys - or any other things you have to do to officially turn the property back over to her?

If there's a chance that there will be trouble with her claiming she didn't know (or really not knowing, if she's having issues remembering things) - I, personally, might be tempted to try to do things in advance to ease that. But, you know her better - obviously - it might be that there's nothing you can do to make it better, and your best bet is to stay out of sight, and just slip out as quietly as possible (Nothing wrong with that!)

The kind of thing I'm thinking of is something like, casually asking, "So, when we leave on Friday, did you want us to drop the keys off with you, or leave them on the counter, or what?" - sort of let the "by the way, we're moving out!" be implied, since she really should know (from your letter).

But if she's going to explode and be insane to deal with, I'm totally with you. In that case, I'd actually not even make contact until you're all moved out, all your stuff is out, and she doesn't have any kind of access to you or your belongings! You know... just to limit her ability to affect you!

Good luck with it, I'm sorry you have to deal with that - but so happy that you've got the new place to go to! Good luck with the move!
guilloche is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
piggy momma
Poohbah
 
piggy momma's Avatar
piggy momma loves all pigs. ALL. THE. PIGS.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
5 yr Member
70 hugs
given
Default Mar 14, 2019 at 08:47 PM
  #5
If she has confirmed receipt of your letter you have met your obligation. Count down to move out day!
piggy momma is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 15, 2019 at 08:01 AM
  #6
Thanks again for your replies. I am glad to see others are thinking the same way. It just doesn’t seem to have any upside and will only bring stress. Moving brings enough stress. Some may think it’s a bit cold, but she’s not my problem in the end.

Guilloche – the one area where she could potentially cause problems for us is that here you are supposed to get a document called a salvoconducto from the police. It shows that the stuff you are moving is yours (home burglaries are an issue here) and that you aren’t skipping out owing rent/bills. In my case too, if I present it at work they give me an extra day off, which would be nice. However, to do this, we need a letter from her and a copy of her ID card. And, the chances of her agreeing to do that are slim to none, because that is one area where she will feel she has some power.

So, we decided to move as little as possible; just things that will fit in the car. If you get stopped and asked for that document, it is usually in a van or truck. Just moving clothes, pictures, books, etc. won’t likely get us stopped or asked questions. We’ve already moved quite a bit this way.

We are very lucky that the builder gave us a giftcard for US$3000 that we can use at a chain of department stores and a home improvement store chain. So, we are using that to outfit the house and are having everything delivered directly to the new place. There looks to be enough for all the main things we need. We’ve only used about 35% of the amount and have already bought curtains, a futon, the bedroom set and office furniture. We still need to buy the washing machine, refrigerator, microwave, kitchen items and a bit more furniture. We also paid almost no closing costs, so we have leftover money from that as well.

The municipal government has already hauled off a bunch of old stuff. They had one of those days where you could take items out to the curb and they will haul it off for free, so we took advantage of it and dragged out a bunch of stuff. Things that are in better shape will be taken by a charity. Neither of us has the patience for a yard sale.

Hopefully things will be set up enough to move in by the end of the month. The letter was received on the 7th, which is when the month’s notice began, so we have until April 7th to turn in the keys. I am hoping that we can just give them to the neighbor that helps her. I figure we can say we didn’t want to bother her or that she doesn’t usually hear the bell (which is true). We had to change the lock to the gate, so we can’t just leave the keys in the house. We also plan to be a bit vague about where we are going.

Wish us luck!
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
guilloche
guilloche
Magnate
guilloche has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: US
Posts: 2,734
8 yr Member
2,704 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 16, 2019 at 08:17 AM
  #7
Yup, moving is stressful enough! Definitely do what you need to to take care of yourself here!

The "salvoconducto" - wow! That really gives landlords a lot of power, doesn't it? I imagine there are a lot of situations like yours where people have a difficult landlord and have trouble getting the document?

I'm really glad that you guys have the gift card and are OK with getting rid of so much stuff! It sounds like that's going to work out best, plus... you get nice new things for your new place. Enjoy the shopping!

Good luck with the final move-out, I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible with returning the keys. At least, at that point, you won't need anything else from her... so if she gets too crazy, you can just turn and walk away.

*Lots of good wishes for getting through the rest of the month, and finishing up with the move!*
guilloche is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 26, 2019 at 01:27 PM
  #8
Yeah, the salvoconducto sucks, which is why we decided to find a way around it. We should have all our stuff out this weekend. The charity can´t come until the 2nd of April. March rent was paid. If she tries to call the cops or something when they are taking the stuff out for the charity, I guess I will just have to explain to them what is going on. She will probably be shrieking hysterically, so me keeping calm will help my case. I will have a copy of the lease with me.

Weird things have still been happening. The neighbor who helps her out, who is usually so nosy hasn´t said anything about us moving and looks at us with this smug face like the cat that ate the canary when we run into her. A neighbor friend who has lived here for a while thinks it´s weird too.

Also, our main door leads out into the patio to the side of the house, there´s a small yard then a wall then the same setup on the other side - the landlord´s house. The other day I walked out into the yard. The landlord was talking to her maid and suddenly the maid told her to stop talking and she slammed the door shut, like she didn´t want me to hear what they were talking about.

I really think the weird behavior from the neighbor and maid is that she thinks that she can deny us the salvoconducto and they don´t want us to know that this is the plan. She doesn´t realize we have pretty much moved already! If we can´t get the rest of our stuff out, it´s just some clothes, kitchen stuff (and we´ve bought a lot of new kitchen stuff so we aren´t taking much) and the furniture we don´t want. So it wouldn´t be such a big deal.
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
guilloche
guilloche
Magnate
guilloche has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: US
Posts: 2,734
8 yr Member
2,704 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 26, 2019 at 02:39 PM
  #9
That's really kind of funny that your landlord and her friends think they're being so incredibly stealthy and smart, while in reality you've already moved everything out and don't need to get the salvoconducto from her at all!

Good for you! (Though I still hope you're able to get the last of your clothes out, at least!)

Hope you're out of there soon and comfortably in your own house! Do you plan to start staying at the new place before the charity picks up the last of your items? I'm sure you're in a hurry to get away from the landlord!
guilloche is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
rechu
Magnate
 
rechu's Avatar
rechu has no updates.
 
Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Somewhere in South America
Posts: 2,209
5 yr Member
1,037 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 28, 2019 at 06:28 AM
  #10
We spent our first night in the new house last night. My husband brought over a few more loads of stuff, while I stayed at the house to work and to deal with the handymen that are doing some work. So, there is less and less in the house. He forgot my hairbrush and my moisturizers, though - haha!

I am sure the gossipy neighbors have noticed and are discussing it!
rechu is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
guilloche
 
Thanks for this!
guilloche
guilloche
Magnate
guilloche has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: US
Posts: 2,734
8 yr Member
2,704 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Mar 29, 2019 at 12:01 PM
  #11
I'm really happy for you Rechu! The hairbrush and moisturizers... at least they're small, you can probably get them out in your purse without any kind of drama, right?

Hope the new house is everything you guys dreamed of (and mostly quiet and free of crazy dramatic nosey neightbors!)

Yay!
guilloche is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:11 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.