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Old 04-16-2019, 09:41 PM #1
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What qualities do you need or want in your friends?

Do you think youíre a good friend and why?

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Old 04-17-2019, 11:08 AM #2
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Default Re: Friends

Tough question. Laughter and empathy and loyalty and honesty go a long way. Loyalty in the sense of watching out for best interests. It's such a loaded word. I don't care for its use but it boils down to that's the reality when analyzing my most long standing friendships.

I don't consider myself the most perfect friend because I can be withdrawn at various points in my life. At the same time, I can hold secrets and I can remember the most seemingly innocuous details of what my friends like or who they are at their deepest core.
Oh and listening and thinking on advice or platitudes that suit the moment. I know when to zip it and not force my values onto them.
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Old 04-17-2019, 03:24 PM #3
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I feel like sometimes I talk too much about myself. Iím working on that by myself without a therapist by thinking before speaking and phrasing my questions differently and asking her more questions about what she likes not what I like. Iím hoping it makes a difference. She usually texts me first about stuff about herself. I guess it can go both ways.
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Old 04-18-2019, 10:14 AM #4
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Default Re: Friends

I'm a terrible friend. I never keep in contact with people
as for qualities, some people I can just open up to more easily than others and I like having those people as friends.
havent really had a friend in years though
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Old 04-20-2019, 04:32 AM #5
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Default Re: Friends

Someone I can just have fun with, do things together, be there for each other when we need help (it us nice when they offer without asking but no mind reading required...we ask each other too), have awesome discussions.....& not be demanding of each others time. We all have our own lives that have obligations that have to be met....so understanding is critical too. It is also wonderful to support each others activities. I have a friend who quilts & I go to her quilt shows. She came to my ballroom dance performance.


I have learned since moving here 12 years ago how to have REAL friends & be a REAL friend rather than just an acquaintance. Many are local & I see them all the time. My other friends live farther away. I make sure to have the time to get together when we all have time.
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Old 04-20-2019, 04:42 AM #6
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Default Re: Friends

It doesn't matter which qualities my friends have, I'll get bored of them in less than a week. However, I usually search for people wanting to take risks and able to understand me. Never met someone like this.

As I said before, I get easily bored of my friends, and sometimes I'll even abuse of their sympathy and "our" trust in each other and take advantage of their loyalty, so I don't think I'm a good friend, but if you want to have fun, with me you'll get tired of having fun, I guess that's something that attracts people to me.
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Old 04-28-2019, 11:39 AM #7
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Friendship instantly becomes a bigger challenge when life gets complicated by health issues. Only the best people will stick by you when these things happen.

Qualities I look for now are so different to what I used to look for in people (Less surface; more substance, these days!). But I have always thought that starting with shared values is a big place to begin.

A great big wide sense of humour helps an awful lot, too. Humility and empathy and a normal, healthy degree of selflessness helps.

After that, anything else that you can share as a pastime with people is always a plus!

I can only be an 'ok' friend, these days, I'm afraid. I have trust issues that stack up pretty high. And it's hard just to physically be available for people, as well. But I do what I can.
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Old 04-28-2019, 12:39 PM #8
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Default Re: Friends

Understanding, sympathy, and the will to help and befriend over anything all the time!
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Old 05-01-2019, 07:37 AM #9
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As a solitary and happy kind of guy friends acquaintances and colleagues tend to be bundled into one. Yes, boundaries are not my strong point but to answer the question Fuzzy asked I would hope to find in friends, contemporary understanding and kindness.
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Old 05-01-2019, 08:13 AM #10
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Default Re: Friends

I think I am a pretty good friend to my husband. Not so much with anyone else. Between work and home, I don't seem to have time to have many friends. I have one friend who hangs in there with me. I am very grateful for her.
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