Wish me strength

splitimage · May 06, 2019 at 09:50 AM

I'm in a really untenable room mate situation at the moment.

She has refused to give me the money for May's rent, and she still owes me money for back rent. The other major irritant is she's constantly screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs.

So today I told her I was giving her an eviction notice, for 2 weeks from today. She freaked out and got really aggressive and in my face, and threatened to call the police on me. I told her to go ahead. She said if I gave her an eviction notice she'd just tear it up, I told her I could keep printing them up.

This is really hard for me. I hate conflict and my natural instinct is to smooth things over and back down, but I can't do that this time, and it's causing me major stress.

Please encourage me to not back down.

Thanks.

splitimage

unaluna · May 06, 2019 at 09:57 AM

Im sorry youre in such a scary situation.

sarahsweets · May 06, 2019 at 10:36 AM

That really sucks but if you want to protect yourself I think you should go down to the courthouse and do the eviction as legally as you can. In NJ you have to give 30 days notice but I do not know how it is where you are. With her threats and aggressiveness it will bolster your case if she tried to fight it.

guilloche · May 06, 2019 at 01:13 PM

I'm sorry too, SplitImage. Wishing you lots of strength to do what needs to be done - and hopefully some nice, calm, relaxing time after your roommate is gone. *hugs*

SlumberKitty · May 06, 2019 at 05:28 PM

Wishing you lots of strength.

eskielover · May 06, 2019 at 07:47 PM

Same one you were having rent problems with before? Definitely time to make it legal action whatever that is in Canada. Do they have a legal serving process like they have for court hearings so there is proof? We use registeted mail also. Definitely time to take action

mugwort2 · May 06, 2019 at 09:25 PM

Splitimage I wish you strength to get through this okay. Hugs

healingme4me · May 07, 2019 at 03:49 AM

What a scary situation to be in, no wonder you are apprehensive. I don't know the process where you are, but sounds like you need someone of some sort of authority by your side.

Ford Puma · May 07, 2019 at 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by splitimage

I'm in a really untenable room mate situation at the moment.

She has refused to give me the money for May's rent, and she still owes me money for back rent. The other major irritant is she's constantly screaming obscenities at the top of her lungs.

So today I told her I was giving her an eviction notice, for 2 weeks from today. She freaked out and got really aggressive and in my face, and threatened to call the police on me. I told her to go ahead. She said if I gave her an eviction notice she'd just tear it up, I told her I could keep printing them up.

This is really hard for me. I hate conflict and my natural instinct is to smooth things over and back down, but I can't do that this time, and it's causing me major stress.

Please encourage me to not back down.

Thanks.

splitimage

This is a very hard situation you are in I think you need to stay strong as this roommate cannot be allowed to continue treating you like this. As others have said do your best to keep it as legal as you can. try and if possible get help from an expert such as a legal advisor

Taylor27 · May 07, 2019 at 06:59 AM

Wishing you lots of strength hugs

splitimage · May 07, 2019 at 07:07 AM

Thanks everyone.

I did get legal advice from a law clinic that helps small landlords. Since we share a kitchen and bathroom, the notice and grounds for eviction are a lot more flexible than in a rental agreement where you're the only tenant on the lease with the landlord.

I gave her notice yesterday, and she didn't flip out on me, she's just being a bit passive / aggressive which I can handle.

Now I just have to wait it out until the 20th.

splitimage

rechu · May 07, 2019 at 07:41 AM

That's good to hear. I hope you can make it through the next 2 weeks without drama.

I recently was very anxious about giving notice to our landlord that we were leaving because I thought the landlord would cause drama. In the end, It all worked out out. I wish the same for you!

saidso · May 07, 2019 at 11:17 AM

Well done! Standing firm with you.

happysobercrafter · May 07, 2019 at 11:28 AM

Omg, what a nightmare for you! I think you are brave to have stood up to her as you have!! Honeybunny, she is in the wrong to put you in that position to take the steps to evict her.

I am grateful you have us and this place for support and encouragement. xoxoxoxox

splitimage · May 09, 2019 at 07:25 AM

Yesterday was particularly drama filled. She started screaming at 5:30 am and continued until 8 am. Then when she got home after work there was more screaming. Then out of the blue she started pounding on my bedroom door. I asked her what the F* was up, and she said to get whoever was in there, out, and telling me to call some guy, who I don't know, to get her money. I told her to calm down, and I'd only talk to her if she stopped screaming.

I finally had enough and called 911. She heard me on the phone and came out demanding to know what was going on, and basically tried to wrestle the phone out of my hands, begging me to hang up. I couldn't talk over her yelling, so I told 911 I'd call back in a couple of minutes. She asked why I'd called them, and I said I was afraid for my safety, and she got really subdued and said I was perfectly safe. I tend to believe her, so I didn't call 911 back, but won't hesitate to do so in the future, if it becomes necessary.

I really don't need this right now.

splitimage

Fuzzybear · May 09, 2019 at 12:05 PM

I’m sending hugs and positive thoughts your way

Travelinglady · May 09, 2019 at 02:33 PM

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this drama.

You have the law on your side, so remember that, dear one.

guilloche · May 09, 2019 at 09:08 PM

Oh wow... *hugs* that sounds ridiculously stressful. Good for you for calling 911 and handling the situation! I think you handled it well - I don't know that I could have dealt with that.

eskielover · May 10, 2019 at 07:37 AM

Wow.....think the 911 call let her KNOW you will take action against her if it becomes necessary.

Sounds like a spoiled brat kid throwing a tantrum. It sure will be nice to have her out of there

rechu · May 10, 2019 at 08:06 AM

Wow, how stressful. I can see why it was hard to go through with evicting her knowing she could react like that. Hang in there!

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unaluna Elder Harridan x-hankster Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Milan/Michigan Posts: 39,841 (SuperPoster!) 12 66.3k hugs given	May 06, 2019 at 09:57 AM #2 Im sorry youre in such a scary situation.
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guilloche Magnate Member Since Jun 2014 Location: US Posts: 2,734 9 2,704 hugs given	May 06, 2019 at 01:13 PM #4 I'm sorry too, SplitImage. Wishing you lots of strength to do what needs to be done - and hopefully some nice, calm, relaxing time after your roommate is gone. hugs
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	May 06, 2019 at 05:28 PM #5 Wishing you lots of strength. __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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mugwort2 Poohbah Member Since Aug 2015 Location: Philadelphia PA. Posts: 1,291 8 28 hugs given	May 06, 2019 at 09:25 PM #7 Splitimage I wish you strength to get through this okay. Hugs
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healingme4me Perpetually Pondering Community Liaison Member Since Apr 2013 Location: New England Posts: 46,298 (SuperPoster!) 11 4,168 hugs given	May 07, 2019 at 03:49 AM #8 What a scary situation to be in, no wonder you are apprehensive. I don't know the process where you are, but sounds like you need someone of some sort of authority by your side.
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Taylor27 healing from trauma Member Since Dec 2017 Location: Alberta Posts: 30,425 (SuperPoster!) 6 24.3k hugs given	May 07, 2019 at 06:59 AM #10 Wishing you lots of strength hugs
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rechu Magnate Member Since Apr 2016 Location: Somewhere in South America Posts: 2,210 8 1,037 hugs given	May 07, 2019 at 07:41 AM #12 That's good to hear. I hope you can make it through the next 2 weeks without drama. I recently was very anxious about giving notice to our landlord that we were leaving because I thought the landlord would cause drama. In the end, It all worked out out. I wish the same for you!
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saidso Veteran Member Member Since Oct 2018 Location: Europe & UK Posts: 575 5 165 hugs given	May 07, 2019 at 11:17 AM #13 Well done! Standing firm with you. __________________ "Fierce <-> Reality" oh god I am struggling today, help me to remember how to stay connected and human! remember: the nut shell against human predators and my own fear!
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,325 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.2k hugs given	May 09, 2019 at 12:05 PM #16 I’m sending hugs and positive thoughts your way __________________
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Travelinglady Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Sep 2010 Location: North Carolina Posts: 47,992 (SuperPoster!) 13 22.9k hugs given	May 09, 2019 at 02:33 PM #17 I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this drama. You have the law on your side, so remember that, dear one.
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guilloche Magnate Member Since Jun 2014 Location: US Posts: 2,734 9 2,704 hugs given	May 09, 2019 at 09:08 PM #18 Oh wow... hugs that sounds ridiculously stressful. Good for you for calling 911 and handling the situation! I think you handled it well - I don't know that I could have dealt with that.
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rechu Magnate Member Since Apr 2016 Location: Somewhere in South America Posts: 2,210 8 1,037 hugs given	May 10, 2019 at 08:06 AM #20 Wow, how stressful. I can see why it was hard to go through with evicting her knowing she could react like that. Hang in there!
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