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Default May 27, 2019 at 07:59 AM
  #21
I can't believe she smoked in the room with furniture that wasnt hers and against the rental agreement! That was double grounds for eviction!

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Default May 27, 2019 at 02:06 PM
  #22
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Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
I can't believe she smoked in the room with furniture that wasnt hers and against the rental agreement! That was double grounds for eviction!

Yeah, but when you believe people are coming in through the 8'th floor living room window that only opens 4 inches to attack you with a bag of hammers, sticking to the rental agreement isn't a priority.
Live and learn.

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Wound up involving the police, but my problem tenant was evicted today.
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Default May 28, 2019 at 10:01 AM
  #23
So glad she's gone! What a terrible renter!
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Default May 29, 2019 at 08:18 AM
  #24
Wow, sorry to hear things got so bad, but I'm glad she is out. I know it is sad to see someone like that who clearly needs help and isn't getting it, but ultimately she's not your responsbility. You did the right thing to take care of yourself. I hope your next roommate is MUCH better!
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Default May 29, 2019 at 08:28 AM
  #25
What a sad story. I'm glad you don't have to live with her anymore. That sounds so stressful.

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Default May 29, 2019 at 05:33 PM
  #26
Yeah, I know for my own sake, she had to go. I just feel really bad about making someone with serious mental health problems homeless - I think it's a bit of a projection of the fear of that happening to me.

I haven't heard back from the property management company about my request for them to come in and repaint the room, so I've got a friend coming over on Sun., to wash the walls and furniture with a really powerful cleaning solution. Having the windows open for the past 2 weeks has also helped.

I've also got to pack up and store the rest of her stuff. I'm going to the small landlord advice centre to find out how long I legally have to keep them. She doesn't have a lot of stuff, but it will still take up valuable space in my store room.

I really wish I didn't have to have a tenant, but it's my only way to maintain affordable housing.

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Wound up involving the police, but my problem tenant was evicted today.
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Default May 30, 2019 at 10:06 AM
  #27
The difference is that you are willing to get help for the issues that could cause homelessness. When a person is totally unwilling to get the help they need then there are consequences. We cannot control those consequences. We can't FORCE someone to get help at her age. It is SAD she chooses not to get needed help & probably continually creates those guilt feelings in the trail she leaves behind her. We can not be responsible for caring for others when we struggle to financially be responsible for ourself. Sad when people end up in situations like that.

I had that similar situation with my EX- H. Stay & myself be destroyed or leave & let him destroy himself. I contacted his parents after I left but they wanted to hear nothing of it & I was their "bad guy" for leaving(never been happier than after I left). Sometimes relief totally overshadows any bad feelings about what we "have to do" for our own best well being.

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Default May 30, 2019 at 01:35 PM
  #28
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Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
The difference is that you are willing to get help for the issues that could cause homelessness. When a person is totally unwilling to get the help they need then there are consequences. We cannot control those consequences. We can't FORCE someone to get help at her age. It is SAD she chooses not to get needed help & probably continually creates those guilt feelings in the trail she leaves behind her. We can not be responsible for caring for others when we struggle to financially be responsible for ourself. Sad when people end up in situations like that.

I had that similar situation with my EX- H. Stay & myself be destroyed or leave & let him destroy himself. I contacted his parents after I left but they wanted to hear nothing of it & I was their "bad guy" for leaving(never been happier than after I left). Sometimes relief totally overshadows any bad feelings about what we "have to do" for our own best well being.
But Eskie, it doesn't even sound like she has the faculties to be making these decisions about care for herself. It's unfair to say she has to suffer the consequences when she is too ill to be making the decisions. She sounds like she needs to be hospitalized, involuntarily, if necessary.

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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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Default May 30, 2019 at 03:34 PM
  #29
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But Eskie, it doesn't even sound like she has the faculties to be making these decisions about care for herself. It's unfair to say she has to suffer the consequences when she is too ill to be making the decisions. She sounds like she needs to be hospitalized, involuntarily, if necessary.
Splitimage tried to get her hospitalized involuntarily on several occasions without success. (Police & at the mall).

They know the standards required for that & if she doesn't meet those requirements & won't seek out help then consequences are what happens.

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Default May 31, 2019 at 04:50 AM
  #30
Yeah it is sad, that she doesn't recognize the need for help. I did try with the police, but the reaction I got from them, was, "yes she's delusional, but she's not an immediate danger to herself or others."


I'd argue that at this point she is a danger to herself as she obviously can't take care of herself.

About the only other thing I could have tried, and I was thinking about it, before things blew up, was going to a Justice of the Peace, and asking them to issue a warrant for a mental health exam. That would give the police 7 days to pick her up and take her to a hospital for evaluation. But now that I have absolutely no idea where she is, it seems kind of pointless.

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Wound up involving the police, but my problem tenant was evicted today.
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Default Jun 01, 2019 at 12:53 PM
  #31
Oh, wow. Splitimage, I'm really glad that she's gone too - for your own health and sanity.

I agree, it's sad. I wish that we (as a culture/planet) had better ways to help people - not just with mental illness, but with poverty, with social skills, with figuring out who they are, and with health problems. I kind of feel like the world is a pretty screwed up place, and there aren't really a lot of good safety nets for most of us.

But, you absolutely have to take care of your self and your sanity (and your home - I assume that if she continued to break the rental agreements, or scream at people, that you could have gotten evicted too).

I feel sad for her, but also absolutely think you did the right thing. It's hard.

I think that's part of the problem with mental illness - what happens when you're ill, but can't recognize it and don't want treatment? Who gets to decide that you're "too ill" and take you in, involuntarily, for treatment? It's not easy.

Good luck in finding a new person for the room. I hope you can find someone who is healthier, and easy to live with!
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