Senior mom doesn’t know about safety?

My mom sometimes really really upsets me. She thinks we still live in the 1950’s or something. She opens the door when it rings at 8PM. I told her not to and she denied that does it but yeah she does. she stops for gas in sketchy parts of Cleveland despite having plenty of gas to make it to a safer neighborhood. We were going to a restaurant a couple hours from my house and we saw one in an absolutely horrible neighborhood. Like one of the worst in the country And she said “do you want to stop at this one?” Does she have no ****ing common sense? And she leaves the back door wide open on summer nights and then falls asleep. A few nights ago a man broke into the back door of a house in the area when a babysitter was home alone with the kids. I told my mom this is why we need to keep the doors locked and she just replied “yep.” I have no ****in clue how to get it into her head that she is not being careful. Whenever I try to bring it up I get told I’m being paranoid or anxious and then she goes on about “back in my days” it’s really frustrating because she’s just oblivious to everything.

Does anyone know how to get the point across without sounding like a ****?

I might print out some info from the police on crime and “accidentally “ leave it some place she’ll see it....curiosity will do the rest.

On the other hand, she may just like living the way she does. She may not want to take any safety precautions. May be happy living in her own little world where bad things don't ever happen. If that's the case, it may be wasting your breath to try to convince her to change her ways. This may just be who she is.

Exactly.

Her life also affects my life since I live with her. If she gets murdered, so do I. It’s not just about her.

so is this about her or you?

Why is it an issue that I want us both to be safe when there has been actual crime in the area? This isn’t an all or nothing situation.

It could be early stages of dementia. Who knows. The whole "back in my day" is a common phrase for the elderly. You may just need to suck it up and say "no, mom we're not stopping here for gas" or wait for her to go to bed before locking up or sit out with her on the front porch until she's ready to go in. I wouldn't try to fight with her on it because it won't change her.

I just noticed your first post about this problem didn't mention that you live with your mother. LLark is right about not fighting with her about it, she won't change and you likely have to work around that in order to feel safer. She isn't the one who feels at risk. It doesn't mean she isn't, but she has chosen to not be afraid. I can understand her stance (being an old woman who lives alone myself) and yours (being a mom and grandma who would want her kids/g'kids safe)

In the interests of your mother's safety, visit your police department and explain to the sergeant on duty your grave concerns. Ask the policeman to make an informal visit. Then your mum will be less on the defensive about her way of life and may appreciate his advice.

It goes without saying that although you may disagree with your mum at times, you still love her.

Yes, your mum sounds like a very trusting, carefree spirit, and that's good. Perhaps her mind hasn't been polluted by all the negativities of the world - particularly in the 'United States'.