daughters delusions finally crashed mom

My daughter has delusions. I have agreed with her delusions as I was told. but now I know that my heart is broken. I feel like i failed as a mom. I want to love her but her delusions have finally broke me to no return.

I have told her to get help. that she has an illness. that she did not ask for this illness. this is not her but an illness that is within her.

My heart is broken. I have asked that she give me some time off to recover. That goes against me wanting to be a mom and supporting her.

I am just wondering how other mom;s are dealing with the same situation.

Hello blueday: Thank you for bringing your concern here to PC. I'm sorry I don't believe there is anything I can offer. However I noticed this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central.

One forum in particular, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the Partners of People & Caregivers Support forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/partn...ivers-support/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

I'm so sorry you are going though this. You're a great mum and you love your daughter. You deserve self care break.
I'm sorry i can't provide any advice but I'd like to hug you 💖

I am so sorry you are struggling, blueday. I do not have a child with a mental illness. I'm the one with the mental illness in my family.

Do you have any other support for you? Other family? Friends? A therapist? Maybe you should think about a therapist for you? It might help.

Sending you hugs and positive support.

I am sorry to hear what you are going through at the moment. Dealing with people with delusions can be a draining and difficult experience. There is not a lot i can say that will help but do try and look after yourself too. Remember you can only do your best and with that, things will start to improve.
Keep well.

I am sorry you are dealing with this. My middle daughter decided year ago not to treat her bipolar and I feel like she is a contestant in a game called "bad life decisions". I am going to be a grandmother in May, and she is 19. I have come to terms with that part of it because who wouldnt love a baby? But I fear for her future.

I'm sorry to hear that about your daughter.

Welcome to PC, blueday and welcome to this forum. I am glad you reached out to us, though I am sorry you have been going through such difficult times with your daughter.

Much of what you shared brought memories to me of the shredder my preteen daughter and I went through at the beginning of last year. For a time I thought even I was not going to make it, living day to day on the edge and sorely tempted to go downhill on the bottle. I didn't for fear of losing my daughter, so together she and I fought tooth and claw to find a way out of the terrible grief; subsequently I had a horrific accident and my daughter had to be taken into care of a special friend.

There is no doubt that you love your daughter though she is difficult, obtuse and stubborn, still a part of you clings on in the hope that she will improve both in temperament and behaviour. It is going to continue being tough, I warn, but I believe that mother-daughter conflicts don't last forever, but we have to make an effort even though we cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is right now.

Though your daughter is a lot older than mine, I think you will be amazed at how much of your little girl is still there, beneath the veneer of her temperament. Your motherly guidance and words are still in her head, but she still needs you to be her pillar of strength no matter what she throws at you. If you were ever to get on the same emotional roller coaster with her, she will have no one to give her the stabilization she so desperately needs. My intention is never to be preachy to you, but personally I discovered that my young daughter needed me to be her anchor despite her fury and angy sparks aimed and fired at me during what were some of the worst times of my life.

If you have come to the end of your tether, while you still have the chance, back off. Your child is not in the right place to hear you trying to prove yourself right. Instead of telling her what to do and what you want and what you think and criticizing and yelling about her crappy choices, stop! Ask how her day went. Then ask her to tell you her interests. This may be going off at a tangent, uut you will be attempting to discover what is really ticking in her troubled mind. Does she like reading books, anything or any genre, or if she enjoys outdoor events. But be prepared for her to brush you off at first. You've got to get her trust back. You are not doing this to get her secrets. Your main goal is to get her back. In order to have decent communication you both need to trust. To trust one-another like I had to turn around to start making trust with my fragile daughter.

You see, when you realize what you're doing isn’t working, then change what you are doing to get to her interests and begin proving to her that you are interested in what she's into. You love her just like I love my young, if sparky teenager. Believe it or not your daughter really loves you. Protect her by being part of this life transition. Don’t be an outsider. Parents need to see that arguing with teens doesn't work and never has. In fact it drives them away. So stop arguing. And I genuinely say this in love and understanding because I have been there before.

My daughter came through. She recognised patience and love, lots of love in me. Given time and patience and a whole lot of love packed down and running over through tears and more tears, your daughter will get through this, too, and she see you for the loving mum that you really are.