What makes someone an empath?

I have heard about empaths a lot here. What makes one an empath? I have heard people say they are naturally born as an empath and others say they became and empath. Is there a way to study being an empath? Is it the same as being really intuitive and tuned into other people's emotions and experiences?
What is the layman's definition of an empath?

Quote:

em·path /ˈempaTH/ Learn to pronounce noun noun: empath; plural noun: empaths (chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.

This is the definition I found. I would classify myself as an empath as it relates to the articles I googled. But is it really paranormal?

Following, and also I have some things to write but can't at this time, so will write later. I think its an interesting question.

Don’t quote me as I am very very skeptical in regards to people calling themselves “empath”.

I heard from people calling themselves that when in reality they appear to be completely clueless about other people’s needs, some appear actually quite narcissistic and call themselves “empath” to make themselves feel important. Some think they are empath because they can’t get their act together and are always upset about something.

In my experience people who do all kind of nice things for others, volunteer their money and time to help others and make difference in others’ life don’t call themselves empath, they just do what needs to be done for others.

If empath is thought to be some kind of paranormal thing, then I am even more skeptical.

The whole “empath” thing strikes me as a new fed.

For me, an empath is someone who is sensitive to other people's emotions/energy or has a spirituaI connection that provides them with information about other people or the world that they feel or see in the mind. Our world is more than just what we can feel, hear and see. Our feelings and emotions effect our reality. This is why two people might see the exact same event but have total different interpretations about what they just saw and some retain the memory, and others might retain totally different aspects of the event in their memory.

Anyways, back to empaths, all atoms are energy and I think we all fall on a spectrum concerning our ability to sense energy (how empathic we are). Our thoughts are energy and our emotional thoughts are much more energetic than our mundane thoughts. Sometimes I wonder if people who are bipolar, schizophrenic, etc. are just more sensitive to the universe's energy.

So I do believe many of us are empaths; in fact, many may be a bit more of an empath than they realize but bury the thoughts in order to cope with drugs, alcohol, food, video games, and other distractions.

I saw the same definition online when I looked it up, and I would think that the paranormal reference would be put there because "Empath" is also a term used for intuitives, or, psychics. It's a type of intuitive / psychic, and that, under science, falls under paranormal. Doesn't mean it's not real. Though for some people, it does mean it's not real. It cannot be measured by science and there are skeptics.


So here are my thoughts on empath. Online there are many different definitions. Sometimes they are highly sensitive people, sometimes they are empathic people...but basically it's my understanding that you can tell how someone is feeling without asking. I'm sure there's more to it than that but that's my basic understanding.


I tend to think (and wonder why) self proclaimed empaths and empathetic people seem to think they are better. It's just something I noticed. Like, "don't worry, I'm an empath so I can help" sort of thing. Another thing I noticed, is that some people who say out loud, or in writing, "I'm an empath" or "I'm very empathic" are not actually so. I have seen these same people cause problems for others. Just because you are empathic or empathetic, doesn't mean you're better, can help more, it doesn't mean you know yourself, it doesn't mean you're more self actualized or more emotionally intelligent.


I myself probably fell into the category of "But I'm empathic (therefore better)" at one point. Then I went through a major self growth spurt (I did the self work lol), so to speak, and this is just one of my many realizations. I used to think I was better or something because I was emapthetic. But then I looked back, and there are definitely places, times, and situations, where I WASN'T empathetic towards people, and I'm sure NOW, I still have room to grow. And while I'm saying this, the flip side, unempathic people, people with low empathy, yes, they can also cause problems for people, but not always. It doesn't make you a bad person with bad intentions just because you Lack empathy. You can still care and want to help, and help other people!


I know the last part is not what you asked about, but it's been on my mind lately, and I wanted to share.

Top 10 Traits of an Empath - Judith Orloff MD

For myself I was born sensitive. Some would say highly sensitive. While some empaths have learned ways to manage it all and become quite skilled, other are just bombardedwith other people's "stuff". I dont have to talk to people to sense something. I feel extremely agitated in places where there are a lot of people. At times I have felt like I am cursed with all these feelings that are not mine. Is it paranormal? I wouldnt class it as such but that's just me.

I was born behind the veil. I do not claim publicly anything about myself and do not speak on it but rarely. Being an empath is painful. Period. That is all I will say on the subject.

This is a good question sarahsweets. The only time that this was used for myself is from a "professional". It was used to help me understand myself better. FIRST, this is not magical, a special power, or means someone is in anyway superior and it's not something supernatural though it has been used in some science fiction stuff as though the charector did have some kind of special powers. Actually, it's the science fiction way of using it that tends to get people thinking the wrong way about it and even disguarding it as "fiction".

In all honesty, it can actually be hard on someone who has empathic personality traits. People with this trait tend to experience a lot of cognitive disonance because they genuinely don't want to cause another emotional pain. Not only that but it also tends to attract the wrong people, people who are more apt to hurt the empath than respect the empath. Also, just because a person is sensitive emotionally, doesn't mean that person is an empath. It isn't about having special powers to see Angels, or Ghosts either in fact, that is taking the science fiction portrayl of it which is incorrect. And just because an empathic person picks up on an emotional challenge in another doesn't mean they have a special power to see the danger of a naricissist either. In fact, an empath can feel sorry for the pain of a narcissist. It doesn't work like that at all. It has NOTHING to do with POWER either or even being better than others.

I have been working with a PROFESSIONAL that was helping me work on many traumatic life experiences. He observed me very closely and wanted me to do things I found very hard and even sobbed. After a while of observing me he told me that part of my challenge is that I am an empathic personality and SOME therapists also have this challenge and have had to learn HOW to practice self care so as not to get emotionally overwhelmed by it. It can actually get exhausting and individuals who have it tend to like space and desire nature around them more. (something I alway did without knowing why)

My husband noticed it a long time ago and actually, just yesterday I met a friend of his that noticed it too after talking to me for a while. I am not one who enjoys bringing others down either, and I was never like that since I was very little. I had even asked my therapist if I may have William's Syndrome because I don't get pleasure at all from causing anyone pain like I see others experience. That is when my therapist explained it to me. In sharing this I am NOT bragging or espousing any kind of superior over. It's simply not like that AT ALL. I had not even realized it's something real until it was explained to me by my professional psychologist.

Once you learn what it really means? You notice how so many people tend to dismiss it, and even make fun of it, and yet even say they are an empath when they are not. Yes, it's often a very misunderstood personality trait.

An empath isn't one to take up space with "me, me, me, me" but instead tend to be busy sitting and listening to others with problems and will often sit with that individual while they feel their emotions. An empath will look to find a quiet corner to vent out ongoing toxic situations thrown at them however. But they don't hog the spotlight with a constant"me, me, me" which is basically what a drama queen/king chooses to do. An empath will hear a quiet voice and want to give that quiet voice recognition.

One day my husband said to me, "OE you are one who not only notices a person sitting and crying but you make a beeline to them and you listen and then spend time helping them. Most people do not do that like you do". Sigh...he does get angry and says "you care too much". But that is how I always was since I was a very small child. Is this something a person is born with? I don't know tbh, all I know is I have always been one who is drawn to someone struggling even as a young child.

Actually, we have a kind and quiet member here at PC who often sits and tries to listen and offers hugs. This member has mentioned being an "empath" and I believe her to be honest. She talks about many challenges where she takes the time to sit with and help someone, either here on another support site, and ends up getting treated badly or getting hurt. Well, that most defniitely CAN happen to an empath. It can be harder for an empath when abused by parents too because an empath can have a very hard time understanding how someone can be mean like that because they don't have that mindset at all.

I HAVE watched our quiet Fuzzybear go from being all silent to slowly finding a voice, I am very proud of that accomplishment of hers as I am sure it took a lot of patience and courage.

The Victim, The Chronic Talker and especially the Drama Queen along with individuals with strong narcissistic traits all tend to claim they are empaths and or have special mystical powers. NOT!

@sarahsweets

Hmm. To be honest, I don't know about this empath thing. Is being an empath real? I'm not saying you, but I do know that a lot of people like to make assumptions about how people are feeling - or thinking, even the kind of character they are - based solely, in my opinion, on the way a person looks. Which is never accurate.

Maybe what the apparent empath is really doing is looking at the person first - their face, their expression, appearance, mannerisms etc., - and then allowing the discriminating mind - and the mind does discriminate in terms of likes and dislikes - to make an assumption about how the person is feeling. Is that correct? You have to look at the person first? Because I see people doing that all the time. And you might hear someone say "I don't like the vibe that guy is putting out" or "I don't like the look of that guy" - and then 99% of the time the guy turns out to be a really good guy, down to earth and content. But the ''empath" person goes away thinking, "Yass! My powers of intuition and empathy have helped me to see the hidden reality, yet again". Is that what it is?

If that's the case then it's an illusion. Sorry.

Sometimes I will see a person but more times than not I am not looking at anybody. It can be a group or individuals. I have no wish to read another person feelings. I have never studied what people body movements say. Somehow I get cloaked with another persons feelings. They can even be in the next room.

Yass! My powers of intuition and empathy have helped me to see the hidden reality, yet again". Never have I come away rejoicing. It can be a very cruel thing to deal with. I have enough of my own emotions to deal with. Other people's stuff is an added burden which causes dissociation and at other times numbness in my heart.

Never have I thought I am better than others.


Theorize all you like but until you have been there you dont understand.

@possum220

Okay, I accept that. I'm obviously not an empath.

But how can you be sure, or how do you know for a certainty, that what you're feeling are other peoples emotions? How do you know it's not originating from you alone - perhaps triggered by the appearance of other people or the belief that people are nearby somewhere?

I saw a couple people here saying "I am an empath and don't think I'm better than others." If that is because of what I said in my post, I am sorry. I wasn't trying to be hurtful, and while I was just saying what I was thinking, perhaps I was insensitive.

@possum220

Nevermind. The answer doesn't really matter to me anyhow because I don't actually possess any empathic qualities - which going by what I'm reading in this thread, is probably just as well.

Thank you for an interesting subject matter.

It is more like I fall into other people's energy and start mimicking it sometimes--my emotions can get to the point that my emotions are the same as the person I am with. I don't know if I explained this perfectly--I tend to do this with people I am with a lot because I like them or people who are in the position to dominate me (I have been getting a lot better at insisting on walking away when I need to).

Open Eyes--I think this video explains perfectly how to protect yourself:
How to Stop Absorbing Other People's Energy
YouTube

I see members are still confused about it. It's not about picking up vibes or projecting and there is nothing magical involved with it. It's not some kind of special power at all.

Instead it is having an ability to sit with someone else that is hurting and FEELING with them and for them. It has NOTHING to do with controlling them, it's about helping and freeing them and understanding their pain. Empaths tend to actually attract narcissists who "need, need, need, need". You are wonderful as long as the narcissist's "need need need" is filled. A narcissist will get ANGRY if their need, need, need DOESN'T take priority. A naricissist will decide "I don't like how you seemed to hear that other person it made me feel like that other person was more important than ME, ME, ME.

That's why Drama Queens/Kings and Narcissists deplete the empath.

It aint so great to be an empath. And often many think the empath is engaging for selfish reasons, often it's because THEY are engaging for selfish reasons, not the empath. And if they NEED to win when interacting and the empath happens to do better? They don't like it and will even say "you got it guess that makes you feel better". It's NOT HOW EMPATHS ARE. All that matters is the hurt one feels better to the empath. They often give more than they get, they respect others but don't get respect from others except from the ones they brought relief to. Often an empath will be told, you help everyone else but yourself. While the Drama Queen/King is busy with Me, Me, Me, often take up space and collecting an audience, the empath will be quitely helping others instead. So you can see if you know what to look for, there is Me, Me, Me taking up space, then the empath's name will be there but instead, helping, helping, sitting with, helping.

There is a difference between LOVING ATTENTION, and giving attention out of LOVE and CARING. The I need love and attention will call themselves and empath and having special powers of some kind. That is WHY so many confuse what EMPATH really means.

I know the fact that I believe that psychics exist is controversial but enough synchronistic things have happened to me lately (that I am not ready to talk about) that I am now truly a believer. I do believe that spirits can ocassionally be sensed. I am not trying to be argumentive but I do not believe everyone's conscious thoughts are exactly the same. It is what makes us all unique.

Tuned Out, I think Its okay to have a different definition of an empath.

Open Eyes, to me what you are describing is an empathic person. Which a a little different from empath (in my understanding) though empaths can be empathic, they aren't always / not all of them are.

Hugs to everyone.

Also again, I hope my second post did not offend anyone. When I wrote it, I was thinking if 2 people. Me, pre-self-growth (also my mother, while caring, has never been very empathic towards my problems so I used to be very biased about empathy being better than non empathy bc of the pain her non empathy caused me), and a person who I've encountered who embodies what I was talking about. Like the people OE was describing earlier who think they're empathic but are not. Though I would argue you can be a difficult person and also 1. Have empathy 2. Be an empath. I think no one person is the same and sometimes I notice people have empathy for one situation but not for another.

Possum, OE and some others who are straight up empaths and empathic, it does sound very hard, overwhelming, and thankless sometimes. I hope there are ways to protect yourselves. There's got to be. I am empathic too but maybe not to an overwhelming degree in all situations. Im more reflective about how I can do better next time. But yes I sit w ppl in their pain, I struggle in crowds big time. The panic from everyone I've felt at the grocery store lately has been rough. The energy / vibe.

TunedOut, you are not being arguementative. I think you are thinking about empaths as being psychic and that's not what they are.

It's not a supernatural power at all. And it's not like a person goes around instantly knowing what others feel and think either.

It's a deep interest in sitting with another person and genuinely listening and FEELING for that person while they share their challenges and problems. Yet, also tapping onto what has meaning to that other person even if it's not something that is valued and has meaning to the empath. Having an appreciation for that other person cares about and accomplishes as a person or a child. That's why they can attract narcissists or emotional vampires and drama queens/kings who always need some kind of "fix". It's not all they attract though, and they like to hear others and that's often what the emotional vampire doesn't like because they are not like that. They may do a little but they get bored or tired of it, not the same as how an empath gets tired.

An empath remembers challenges in another as injuries or need, naricissists USE the injuries or challenges to enact revenge once the empath or anyone really doesn't see things THEIR way and give THEM the power and control. Drama queens need to express some kind of super power so they often say "I am an empath". That's not and empath, it's not some super power or anything superior which emotional vampires need so much of.

As I mentioned, many see it the way it has been portrayed in science fiction, it's not something science fiction at all. Most empaths have strong connections with animals too. Not for servicing, but for caring and there IS a difference.

Just trying to provide some examples to help people understand so they don't get it confused with the supernatural. And it's NOT about being a perfect person either or seeing everything perfect. Which is actually often what contributes to their understanding more, because they themselves are NOT some kind of perfect but that's not the be all and end all with them either.