Getting my teeth done - fixing my childhood neglect

Hi everyone,
OK this is embarrassing but I want to share.
As a child, I wasn't taught to brush my teeth by my parents. As you can imagine, I had multiple cavities by my teen years. It was only when my friends told me that my breath was terrible that I realised I was supposed to brush my teeth regularly 😢

I've had my cavities fixed since that time and I'm brushing my teeth regularly. But I'm still very self conscious about my mouth and teeth. I suspect I might have some hidden issues that can't be seen normally so today I made an appointment for an Xray and I want to have my teeth checked properly including roots etc. And perhaps I'll get braces for one crooked tooth I have.

Sorry guys for this embarrassing post. But I feel this is an important step on my mental health journey and self care.

Good for you Seeker. Please don't be embarrassed. You're taking steps to care for yourself. I applaud you for that.

I agree with Liz, it's good that you are learning to take care of yourself despite your parents failing to help you learn how to do just that.

It's been many years since I was a child. But, way back then, my parents never put any emphasis on dental care either. By the time I was a teenager, my father no longer had any teeth. And my mother wouldn't go to the dentist unless she was absolutely forced into it (which I don't recall ever having happened.)

Perhaps I was taken to the dentist once or twice if I had a toothache. But I don't recall that ever occurring. By the time I was in my late teens / early 20's my teeth all began breaking. And whenever one of my teeth broke, the miserable old dentist my parents used (when it was absolutely unavoidable) would simply go in & pull the broken tooth out.

As time passed I finally did learn to take better care of my teeth to the point where it became almost an obsession. But, of course, all of that early damage was done although I have had some restorative work done over the years as well. Anyway, I share all of this simply to let you know you're not alone in what you experienced... & there's no need to feel embarrassed. It was not your fault. What's important is that you recognize what did not happen for you as a child & you're taking steps to remedy the situation.

P.S. I'm an obsessive flosser as well as a toothbrusher & highly recommend the practice.

I am in your boat at the moment, I now got off the phone with my Mom and I told her I would love to fix my teeth. I am ashamed to smile my whole life.....

Seeker33, that's awesome and brave of you! Nothing to be embarrassed about... I think a lot of us have to go through similar things, learning how to navigate health care once we're away from our families.

My mom took us to the dentist when I was young, but after a point... my parents got divorced, and they both kind of gave up on parenting. So there was a long period with no dental care. I didn't really think about it at all... it took awhile, once I was out of school and living on my own, to sort out dental stuff, and was really scary with the first visit!

Good luck with the visit, and I hope the x-rays turn out fine!

Best of luck Seeker! Nothing to be embarrassed about.

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm glad you've fixed your issues and take good self care now!

Wow I'm so happy you've decided to fix that issue! I I'm sure you'll have a charming smile soon 😁

We can't change our past which I know is such a cliche.. but.. good for you for making that appointment.

I opted to get braces when I was approaching 40. I had a lot of crowding, a slight overbite, and other issues. I always hated my smile so I dived in.

I was accused of being "vain" and "gullible" for "falling for the advice" of a dentist who just "wanted my money". "Oh brother.".... my lovely sister.

I had the mould. I could visibly SEE the issues. It wasn't in my head. I wasn't gullible.. and I was most CERTAINLY not the first person on the PLANET to get braces.. so, I ignored the feedback.

I am much more comfortable with my smile now. I don't even think about it anymore.

Enjoy this journey! You have nothing but gains here. All the best to you 🤗

Hi seeker. You are far from alone in terms of years of insufficient dental care. Though my mom apparently did tell me to brush my teeth as a child, I remember not doing it all of the time, and in the beginning, I thought just brushing the visible parts was necessary. Don't be embarrassed at all by tooth problems. I think many more people than you realize have various problems for various reasons. People who experience depression are also prone to poor self-care, at times.

I don't know where you live, but many in the US don't have dental care coverage, or even if they do, it's often insufficient to cover the high costs. Right now, my husband has a cracked molar and one molar that is half gone. He was supposed to get a crown, but we can't afford it. He plans to get them fixed in Czech Republic, where he's originally from. A couple years ago, I had to have root canals in both of my front teeth. Since we have no dental coverage, it was $3,000 plus another $500 for other related stuff. Many people, especially those on disability, can't afford such fees. I had to have my root canals because they were my front teeth, and I'm already a gap toothed gal to begin with. Without my front teeth, it would be like a gap the size of a six lane highway. I had an abscess. I had been dealing with discomfort for six months prior to that. It was likely the result of my significant bruxism, which is surely related to my bipolar disorder. That's taken a toll on the appearance of my teeth, too.

Seeker, I wanted to add that I'm another who didn't get good dental care as a child. I was ashamed of my teeth, tried not to smile. Several years ago I had extensive work done when the dentist had to pull my lower teeth in front. I now have straight, "normal" looking teeth. I'm so glad I had the work done! I'm no longer embarrassed to smile.

Good for you!!!! Congrats on taking care of yourself

I think you should pat yourself on your back for doing something important in doing something important for your health. One's teeth is important. Plus if you're true to them, ie take care of them, they will be true to you.

Good decision, seeker. I know adults with braces, and they are happy with the result.

Thank you everyone I truly appreciate everyone's kind words!

I am with you. I am embarrassed to smile. I plan to price the cost of removing my remaining teeth and getting dentures-----the dental work I had done over the years was not particularly good, lots of work, not much in the result dept. (and I think it is highly hereditary as these are my dad's teeth---my mother, brother, my own kids even all had perfect teeth. (my kids still do and they are middle aged)
I don't have a large "nest egg" but I am feeling it would be worth it just to not feel this way anymore. it only gets worse...

Good for you, seeker

I'm so glad you've brought this subject up. I was never taught how to brush my teeth, never taken to a dentist until I was 15. My older sister finally took me and my teeth were all messed up. I'm still struggling with tooth problems. I worry about it a lot, because my bottom teeth are crooked and loose